I don’t really have a question about dating or relationships, but I have a question nonetheless. When me and my group of friends go out, one of them, who I’ll refer to as X, always gets to drunk. I mean we could all be drinking, but usually without fail X will go too far. When he gets drunk he starts talking very loudly and aggressively with us and strangers. Plus, X gets super flirtatious. Many times he has grabbed some guy’s a$$ or crotch. And often the grabbing is not wanted. Needless to say, his behavior has caused my friends and me to be embarrassed and involved in several altercations. We tried talking to X about his behavior, and he either doesn’t get that he is reckless drunk, or he doesn’t care. What would you do in this situation?
I have a question for you. I’m not actually gay, but my best friend of 12 years has recently come out to me, and I’m not quite sure how to proceed with our friendship. We met each other at our home church, and there I learned and accepted to a degree that homosexuality is not right in God’s eyes. So still believing that, how do I give my friend my approval of his new lifestyle? I realize you are not necessarily a leading scholar on Christianity, but I came across one of your posts on Instagram and you appear to be gay and Christian. So I thought you could offer up some advice. Btw, please don’t take any offense to my letter.
Ashley from Around the Way
I’m going to try and be brief about this. Unlike all of my friends, I’m not in a relationship nor do I desire to be in one. I enjoy my independence, and like being able to be with whoever I want, no strings attached. But my friends just can’t accept I don’t want an official boo. I did the relationship thing, and I don’t miss it. This all brings me to my question. Is not wanting a relationship normal, and okay?
Thanks in advance,
Dear According to T,
I’ve been looking for this person who would bring me back to a place of loving that I recently lost. I think I’ve found him. We laugh together, share personal moments, and have been intimate once, which was amazing. Here’s my personal war, he’s very plugged into social issues and is very liberated in his thinking. He identifies as queer, loves drag (and does it), and is not dogmatic. In recent months, I’ve learned that my belief system is shifting and I enjoy whimsical faith. He makes me feel free, but at times I feel his thinking is light years beyond my own and I worry that I’m shallow, even though he doesn’t see me that way. Should I try to plug myself in more to political and social issues just to be able to keep up with him?
I think I’m addicted to my ex-boyfriend/current boyfriend depending on the day. We have been off and on for about 3 and half years now. We will be good for about 2 months, and then all of a sudden he will do something that pisses me off and cause me to want to break up with him. I mean he’s lied to me, cheated on me, and he can be so immature sometimes. However, he also makes me laugh like no other, and he has given me some of the best surprises I’ve ever received. Plus, the sex with him is beyond amazing. I mean I’ve been with other guys, but none of them even come close to this man in the bedroom. My friends say great surprises and mind blowing sex aren’t everything, and if me and the ex break up as often as we do, maybe I should move on. But I can’t bring myself to let him go. Say I move on and find another guy that doesn’t cheat, is mature, and always treats me right, but the sex is terrible. I think if I work with the ex and help him grow up a little, I will have my perfect man. Please tell me what you think?
Truthfully, I used to be somewhat of a hoe. There were times in the past all a dude had to do was be fine, flash his smile, and grab his junk, and I would be bent right over. Heck, I didn’t even know the last name of some of these guys. But now, I just want more out of life. I want a relationship and want to be someone’s bae. I’ve been told in order to get that, I’ve got to close my hole for business for a while. So I’m going to try and abstain from having sex for a little bit, but it’s like telling someone that eats meat every day to become an instant vegetarian. Do you have any suggestions? Do I really have to abstain?
Young & Meatless
I’m not really seeking advice about dating or relationships, but you did say people can ask you anything, so I’m asking. I kind of feel like I’m failing in life. I had always envisioned that by the time I was 30, I would be in a career I loved, with a man that adored me, and in a nice house with a dog. Unfortunately, I’m 28 going on 29, and I’m not even close to achieving any of this. I’m up to my neck in student loans, can’t find a GOOD man anywhere, and I’m stuck in a job I hate that’s going nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for what I do have; but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed. I guess my question is, do you think I should feel like a failure? I hoping you can help.
My damn boyfriend is driving me crazy. As much as I love him, lately I’ve been wanting to kick his ass. When I tell you he is biggest flirt, I mean it. He’ll flirt with members at the gym, employees at the grocery store, waiters at any restaurant, and men on IG. When I mention the problem I have with his flirting, he always respond the same way. “Babe you know I’m not cheating, I love you.” And then my personal favorite, “You know I’m just a natural flirt, it means nothing. Don’t you trust me?” I mean I do trust him, but man. What do you think I should do here?