Dating, relationships

He Broke Up with Me, But I Still Want to Be Friends

Hi, I’m so heartbroken.

My ex broke with me yesterday. We were in a face to face relationship for a year, then he leaves for school and we committed to a LDR for a year and a half, a total of 2 years and 6 months being a couple. I really really really didn’t see this coming, 10 days before breaking up he told me that I was so good to him, he told me please never give up on him or us, that I was for sure the love of his life and that he wanted everything with me. I saw him last week, I visited him and i thought we were just fine… he confessed that he had cheated on me hours before I arrived, days after he told me that I was the one without a doubt.

I cannot believe that he cheated, not after all we have been trough after all the love we have. We weren’t a toxic relationship at all, I mean everyone said that we were so rare so unreal.

I love him so so so much.

The thing is that he liked being with someone else, so he told me that this girl was no one, but having sex with someone different is what he liked, and that’s why he broke up with me, so he can enjoy his 20’s and be ready for a serious and strong loving relationship.

I don’t know if I want him back because I feel like I can’t trust him because of the cheating plus the LDR, but I just want him to love me, to worry about me, to stay in touch, to be friends but really close friends and maybe In a future, be the strong and loving couple we were.

Please advise me, do we have a future right now? Or maybe later? Can we and how can we be friends?


I Really Like Him, But He Won’t Go Below Sea Level

Hello Tavion,

As always great advice and articles. I was wondering if you could help me with something. I met an amazing guy that I had enjoy spending my time with. I am content with how things are progressing with our relationship. Although we aren’t sexually active yet, we’ve talked about it and had a few close encounters. My concern is that he is not into fellatio and I very much enjoy it. Should that be a deal breaker or how can we work around it? Again, it is something I thoroughly enjoy.

– Let’s Make A Deal


This Man Is Not Yours to Have

 Dear T,

I’ve been seeing this man for about 3 months now.  He’s everything I’ve wanted.  He’s cute, has banging body, has a great job, makes me laugh, and the sex with him on a scale from 1 to 10 is an 11.  The only thing is, the guy is married and has no plans in the near future to get a divorce from his wife.  He told me he didn’t want to get a divorce right now because he didn’t want to do that to his two young kids.  However, he always makes himself available to me.  We don’t really go on dates around town, but he comes over to my place often and takes me on trips.  Lately though, I’ve just been feeling our relationship the way it is, isn’t enough.  I want more.  I want to go out in public on dates. I want to be able take pictures with my boyfriend.  I want to roll over in the middle of the night to him sleeping peacefully, instead of him making a mad dash for the exit to get home.  Plus, I’m starting to feel bad for his wife.  I guess I’m writing to ask what do you think I should do?  I’ve asked my friends, but I don’t think they get it.


Oliver Pope

The Lifestyle

I Say, Come On Out that Closet!

Dear T,

I’ll just get right to the point.  I’m 25 years old, a black man, and gay.  The problem is, I haven’t “come out” to my family yet.  My mom and dad are very old school Christian, and my two older brothers are kind of homophobic.  I’m afraid that if I tell them I’m gay, they won’t talk to me anymore.  On the other hand, I’m tired of living this secret double life.  I know people say I have to live my truth, but I don’t want to lose my family while doing it.  They mean everything to me.  What do you think I should do?

Thanks in advance,

Still in the Closet

Dating, relationships, The Lifestyle

I’m A Top, You’re a Top! Let’s Make it Work!

Dear T,

So I really like this guy that I’ve been dating for the past month.  We have amazing times together, can talk on the phone for hours, and have a ton in common.  Plus, he has a great job and is fine as sh$t.  Surprisingly, we haven’t had sex yet.  Which leads me to my problem.   He’s a top and he’s under the impression I’m a bottom, or at least verse.  I’ve only bottomed once, and I hated it.  Like I said, I’m really feeling this guy and I’m afraid if he finds out I’m a top too, he’ll drop me.  What do you think I should do?

Thanks in advance,

Hole But No Entry


I Didn’t Sign Up for the Extra Weight

Dear T,

Over the years my boyfriend has really gotten out of shape. I don’t understand how someone could let themselves go like this. When we first met he was ripped and chiseled. Now he’s sporting a beer gut. I’m no longer attracted to him but I don’t want to break his heart. What should I do?


No Fats No Fems


friendship, The Lifestyle

His Business, Is Not Your Business

Dear T,

I have this female best friend, and over the past three months she has developed a huge crush on this guy we know.  He’s fine, a recent college grad, and charming.  I think he’s a good catch, but I’m pretty sure he’s gay.

Shortly after meeting this guy, my best friend and I became Facebook friends with him.  Since then, he’s been messaging me directly pretty regularly.  We talk about our life goals, our experiences in college, sports, and other things.  While that sounds normal, when we have our Facebook chats it’s usually after 11:00pm.  Also, he uses smiley wink faces in our conversations.  And looking at his Facebook profile, I learned he loves Oprah and Rhianna, and we have multiple friends in common that I know for sure are gay.  So I guess my question here, is do I tell my best friend this guy is gay so she can move on?  Or do I keep the information to myself?


Trying This Out

Dating, relationships

Can a Old Flame Be My New One?

Dear According to T,

I’m on Round 2 with this guy. We dated a few years ago, but are exploring things again. Last time, he bailed. This time, I want to. Not to “get him back”, but because I feel he is too emotionally stretched to fully engage…especially sexually. I am wrong for wanting to call it quits?




Spicing Up Sex Life

Dear T,

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for about a year now, and I’m starting to feel a little bored with our sex life. How can I spice things up? I love him and want to make this work, but I’m tired of the usual. Please help.


Spice Things up