relationships

I Don’t Want to Break Up but Our Sex Life Is in the Trash

Dear T,

How do you tell your boyfriend that he no longer satisfies you sexually without him getting mad and breaking up with you? That’s pretty much my problem. I’ve tried introducing toys, instructing him to try new positions, proposed a threesome which he turned down, and tried new places. He just doesn’t do it for me sexually like that anymore and that sucks because I love him. He’s an amazing boyfriend and treats me like a king, so I don’t want to break up with him. But I don’t want to be in a situation like this. I’m only 27, and sex is still important. Help.

-Life to Live

Dating, friendship

I Told My Friend I Don’t Like Him Like that and He Ghosted Me

Dear T,

I’m in a sticky situation with my friend of over 6 years. I thought we were real cool. We went out to happy hours, house kickbacks, and even church. He’s met some of my family, and I’ve been to his family’s home for cookouts. I broke up with my ex a month ago, and two weeks ago my friend tells me that he has feelings for me. He wants us to be in a relationship. I wasn’t expecting that at all. Especially because I don’t like him in that way.

When I told him that I just want us to stay friends, he didn’t take the news well and ghosted me. He won’t answer my calls or texts, and he’s blocked me on all social media. I want my friend back. It’s like I’m being punished for my feelings. What do I do?

-I Don’t Want Him

Dating, relationships

My Selfish Boyfriend Wants Me to Move with Him or Break Up

Dear Tavion,

My relationship is about to be over if my boyfriend doesn’t stop being a selfish a$$hole. Here’s what happened. He got offered a promotion at work that would take him to Austin, Texas, but we currently live in Charlotte. I have my own spot and he has his, but we’re both here. He’s all excited about the job and accepted the offer, without really thinking about my thoughts on it. I don’t want to move to Austin, and he knows that. To top it off, he claims to love me but says if I love him that I’d consider moving to Texas because I know he doesn’t like long-distance relationships. That statement right there really pissed me off, and we got into a blow up. I do love him, but I don’t like feeling I’m being forced to do something I don’t want to do. I feel like he’s forgetting I have a life outside of him. What do you think T?

-Static 94

relationships

I Love My Boyfriend but Hate Our DL Relationship

T,

I now know why my friends told me not to date DL guy. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost two years, and I love him like crazy, but I’m tired of being in the closet with him. When I want to go to gay spots like a bar or even a gay house party, he won’t go with me and tells me to go with my friends or tries to convince me I should stay in the house with him. If me and him go on dates in public, the restaurant can’t have romantic vibes and we can only sit at tables, not booths. We don’t take any pictures together, and the only person in my life he’s met is my best friend once and that was by accident. You probably think he has a wife or girlfriend, and I’m the side piece or some sh*t. But that’s not true and I know for a fact it’s just me.  He’s just so damn secretive about being gay.

My boyfriend has great qualities too. If I ever need anything, he’s always there. When I got laid off a while back, he covered my rent when I didn’t have it one month. When my dad was sick and I was stressed, he was very supportive. Even made sure I had meals in my apartment so I didn’t have to worry about cooking. Stuff like that is why I love him, and the sex is really good too. Wrapping this up, what should I do here? Do I tell my boyfriend to loosen up or I’m out?

-Secret Boo

relationships

After Four Years My Boyfriend Still Won’t Marry Me

Dear Tavion,

I’m having a problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for four years, and we have a great relationship. I love him more today than ever, and he says the same. The issue is he won’t commit to marrying me. He told me that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else, but marriage is not something he’s ready to do. Like how does he not know if he’s ready to marry me after four years? I’ve been trying not to blow up at him too much because when we first started dating he said he wasn’t sure about marriage to anyone, but might be open to it. I get that. But damn, what is holding him back? Do you think I should press him on it? Or do you think I should give up on my dreams of marriage?

-Mr. Fed Up

relationships

My Ex Wants Me Back but Is Still Seeing the Woman He Cheated With

Hi T,

I hope that you’ll be able to notice this. I just recently broke up with my ex and we’re in a long-distance. We’ve been together since 2017 & I just found out 3 weeks ago that for the whole duration of our relationship he’s been dating another woman. That’s why I saw your page & I’m here right now.

Your advice here helped me in a way to understand why my ex did it so I forgave him. But couple of days ago I saw that he’s currently with the other girl, so I ended our relationship for good and I blocked him everywhere. Now that I’m trying to heal & be happy, he’s able to find a way to reach out to me, he said that I’m the one that he loves and our issue is the distance. He said that I’m the one he keeps thinking about and he wanted to be with me and closing the gap between us is the answer to our problem. But it doesn’t make any sense to me cause he doesn’t wanna let her go until we’re together physically (crazy right?!).

He’s basically cheating on both me & the other woman. He also asked that if his feelings aren’t real then why is he even trying to get me back at all? Cause in the first place, it’s really easy to just ghost someone especially in a long distance & we haven’t seen each other for about 1 yr & 9 months cause of pandemic. That’s why I need your help or opinion 🥺. I know that you don’t advise anyone to just move on or something but my heart wanted to try & make this relationship work, and my mind is telling me to just move on and it’s driving me crazy.

-R

relationships

My Boyfriend Has Slept with All His Guy Friends

T,

I recently started dating someone last year and we are thinking about taking our relationship to the next step and moving in together. My partner has had a very sexual past and he’s slept with just about every male friend he has had for the sake of just sexual pleasure. He assures me he is a changed person and no longer wants anything to do with any of that and I believe him. However, I have not met these friends and I know I eventually will because some of them are his best friends. Now, I am not a person who puts a huge amount of importance on sex, I know everyone has a past, however, a big part of me is upset that I can’t even have this intimacy of sex between us because I know all of his male friends have had a piece of him already and if put in a position where I’d have to meet these people, I’d feel like a clown. How do I approach this? It’s really having me second guess our relationship.

-Reluctant Rez

relationships

My Boyfriend is Bisexual and That’s Causing Me to Be Insecure

Hi

Well how do I start? I am 18 years and I am dating a bisexual guy. We have been together for a year now and he is the best boyfriend I ever had. He let me know about his sexuality before we started dating. The more I got to learn about him the more I liked him and I accepted him since the beginning. We rarely touch on the subject about his past with other guys. And we’ve had a beautiful relationship full of love and adoration.

Recently he posted a picture online captioning it about pride month and basically speaking out about him being bisexual. I’ve always supported him and like I said accepted because I always thought that if he’s with me that’s all that matters right. But when I saw his post my heart sank. I couldn’t swallow what he had done and my mind went swarming with insecurity.

I cried that night asking myself I am going to be enough for him if he’s claiming he’s into men online. Let me be clear and say I’m not saying I am against Pride month but I don’t think it was respectful of him to say he’s into men when he is with me who has never given him a reason to claim I have cheated or been interested in another person or persons.

I thought to myself, Am I going not satisfy him later on if we continue together?? Does he want to experiment more with men??? By doing this, does he want to make himself available to get guys’ attention. I did accept him and I love him but I didn’t expect emotional pain from this. His girlfriend accepted him and I’m not saying okay he’s dating me he’s going to forget about guys but I just think that I am not capable of being the right person for him and dealing with emotional pain like right now for the long run.

Of course who would anyone not say they want their first partner to be their lifetime partner, of course I dream of getting married and hope we last but I am in tears writing you this hoping you can put some calm in my heart. I feel like I haven’t been able to share this with him because I don’t want to offend him or make him think I want him to hide who he really is. I have been keeping my mouth shut pretending everything is fine when it’s not. I have been emotionally hurting because I know I can’t satisfy my boyfriend in ways a man can.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what to do. I’m not looking for one answer, I’m just hoping you could read my message. He has no idea I’ve been crying about this he has no idea the meltdown I had when I saw his post he has no idea of the fear I have of losing him.

-P

Dating

I’m Dating My Ex’s Friend and He Accused Me of Being Foul

Dear Tavion,

I came across your site and saw you give advice, which is good because I could use some. I’ve been talking to this guy Jay for months now. I really like him. I mean really like him. I won’t lie, I could see myself marrying him one day. The problem I’m having has nothing to do with him, but more so my ex.

I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago after I found out he was doing some creep shit. I haven’t seen or heard from him since, and unfollowed him on social media and everything. Again, we had no communication until a week ago, when I got a DM from him calling me foul for dating one of his friends. I didn’t know what he was talking about, so I asked him. He said he saw me in Jay’s IG story for a WCW shoutout.

When I asked how he even knew Jay, he said they were friends in college. I promise you, the whole time me and ex were together he didn’t mention Jay once. I asked when was the last time they spoke, he said it had been a minute, but they were still good. He kept going that if the roles were reversed and he was dating one of my friends, I’d be salty. That’s true, but again, I don’t think Jay and ex are even good friends, or even close. Pretty positive my ex is just starting sh*t. What do you think? Even if I’m wrong in this, I’m not giving up Jay.

Just an FYI, when Jay and I talked about it, he said he hadn’t heard from ex in like 2 years and didn’t know I used to be with my ex. Jay also told me he thinks the situation is weird, but he doesn’t want to just stop talking to me.

What are your thoughts?

I Call BS

relationships

My Boyfriend’s Best Friend Doesn’t Like Me. What Should I Do?

Hello Tavion,

I’m writing you because I need help dealing with my boyfriend’s friend.  I originally had no freaking clue why my bf’s friend didn’t like me. Every time I came around the friend he acted like I killed his damn dog or something. I’ve always been super nice to him and friendly, but he’s short with me and treats me like I don’t belong. I asked my bf what the deal is, and he said his friend just takes time to warm up to people. But I called bullsh*t. I told my boyfriend it seemed like his friend was jealous of me. That’s when he confessed that his friend liked him when they initially met 5 years ago, but his friend got over it. I said the friend is lying about being over it, but that made my boyfriend upset because he thinks I’m making something out of nothing. What do you think about all this?

-They Ain’t Friends