relationships

My Boyfriend is Bisexual and That’s Causing Me to Be Insecure

Hi

Well how do I start? I am 18 years and I am dating a bisexual guy. We have been together for a year now and he is the best boyfriend I ever had. He let me know about his sexuality before we started dating. The more I got to learn about him the more I liked him and I accepted him since the beginning. We rarely touch on the subject about his past with other guys. And we’ve had a beautiful relationship full of love and adoration.

Recently he posted a picture online captioning it about pride month and basically speaking out about him being bisexual. I’ve always supported him and like I said accepted because I always thought that if he’s with me that’s all that matters right. But when I saw his post my heart sank. I couldn’t swallow what he had done and my mind went swarming with insecurity.

I cried that night asking myself I am going to be enough for him if he’s claiming he’s into men online. Let me be clear and say I’m not saying I am against Pride month but I don’t think it was respectful of him to say he’s into men when he is with me who has never given him a reason to claim I have cheated or been interested in another person or persons.

I thought to myself, Am I going not satisfy him later on if we continue together?? Does he want to experiment more with men??? By doing this, does he want to make himself available to get guys’ attention. I did accept him and I love him but I didn’t expect emotional pain from this. His girlfriend accepted him and I’m not saying okay he’s dating me he’s going to forget about guys but I just think that I am not capable of being the right person for him and dealing with emotional pain like right now for the long run.

Of course who would anyone not say they want their first partner to be their lifetime partner, of course I dream of getting married and hope we last but I am in tears writing you this hoping you can put some calm in my heart. I feel like I haven’t been able to share this with him because I don’t want to offend him or make him think I want him to hide who he really is. I have been keeping my mouth shut pretending everything is fine when it’s not. I have been emotionally hurting because I know I can’t satisfy my boyfriend in ways a man can.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what to do. I’m not looking for one answer, I’m just hoping you could read my message. He has no idea I’ve been crying about this he has no idea the meltdown I had when I saw his post he has no idea of the fear I have of losing him.

-P

The Lifestyle

I’m Single and Don’t Want to Be…Where Is My Bae?

Hello Tavion,

Please help a brother out! I have a huge dilemma. I’m Black, Bisexual, Christian, and Undetectable…..need I say more? It has become extremely difficult to have a lasting relationship with either gender. I have been cut short because of my race, my beliefs, my sexuality, and/or my status.  I am at a point where I’m ready (been ready) to settle down, build a life with my partner, and start a family. What to do?

BBCU

relationships

My Boyfriend and I Are in the Closet, And He Sleeps with His Ex-Girlfriend

Hi T,

My name is Lawrence from Nigeria. Actually I have been dating this guy for 6 years now and we have been nothing short of a perfect couple though we are closeted due to the harsh socio-political and culture terrain, however we have been having issues of late over a girl he used to date that has succeeded in wiggling herself back to him. We have built our lives together in business and other areas and we stay together but this girl wants to come over all the time and I have to leave our bedroom and take the couch so they can have privacy to talk, sleep and have sex. We have talked and quarreled about it but he is asking me to be understanding.  The funny thing is he doesn’t see anything wrong with it and says she is a cover up for his mum.  The truth is I love him crazy, I don’t want to lose him, want him for myself.  I also want to be understanding of his point of view, but I can’t bear the part where she has to come over always as well as the sex part. I really don’t know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.

Dating, relationships

You’re Bisexual and Your Boyfriend is a “Bisexual-Phobe”

Tavion,

I’ve got a bit of a problem. Or at least I think I do.  So check it, I’ve been in this relationship with my boyfriend for about two months. One night we were just talking about our pasts and what not, and I talked about my ex-girlfriend.  When I told him that we actually lived together and were briefly engaged, he got all weird. Which I don’t understand.  I thought he was jealous at first, but then he started asking me why I didn’t tell him I’m bisexual. Like he legit got pissed at me.  In fact, ever since we talked about my past three days ago, he’s been barely talking to me. I don’t get what his issue is. He can’t really be this upset about me being bisexual can he? Let me know your thoughts.

-I Like Both

relationships

My Boyfriend Is Attracted to Men and Women, and I Hate It

 Hey you,

I came across your site and I thought I should just ask. So I’m gay and kind of never had the experience with a woman. No relationships, no sex, no whatever. If I compare myself to other gay guys it seems like the majority of gays had relationships and even sex with woman (I’m from Germany so I don’t know how it is compared to the US).

Anyway, it really made me feel quite bad because I think I’m missing out on something. I don’t feel any sexual attraction to women, but still it hurts me that I am kind of a minority inside of a minority (gay and no sex ever had with a woman).

So far this was kind of okay, but now with my boyfriend it’s a little harder.  He’s had one relationship with a girl and sex which already is hard for me. But on top of that, he has had sex once with another girl when he was already out of the closet with a girl who knew he was gay. He told me she provoked him. It lowered my self-esteem even more, because he can fuck women anytime he wants even though he’s not attracted sexually to women, in his words “it feels just mechanic”.

I know it’s kind of jealousy too, but I still need something more than somebody telling me not to be jealous.

I like him very much and want to overcome this. There was a moment when it came back to my mind and I felt disgusted while cuddling with him just because I imagined how he fucked that girl, but I didn’t tell him that

He told me that some weeks ago but I can’t stop thinking about it.

He also told me that he’s gay but when he drinks its easier for him to find woman attractive.  I asked him if I should worry if he will ever sleep again with a woman he said no. I’m sure he likes me and I want to free myself of this, but I can’t put down his past where he had sex with women.

I would be so glad if you could give me any advice please.

Thank you in advance.

-Bert

Dating

Should Dating Someone Bisexual Be a Big Deal?

Hi T,

Was told about your website, so I decided to come check it out. This past weekend some friends and I had one of those wine and movie nights, and watched that movie that came on Lifetime with Kelly Rowland and Meagan Good.  Well anyway, in the movie one of the characters, a woman, fell in love with a man who identified as bisexual. Naturally, that brought up a discussion among us if any of us could date a guy that was bisexual. My friends say they couldn’t do it.  And despite the fact that I support the LGBT community and have marched for LGBT rights, I don’t think I could date a man that’s bisexual either.  I feel horrible for saying that, but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable with.  You don’t think that makes me a bad person do you?  Me and my friends are all women by the way.  Hope this question doesn’t sound completely weird or ridiculous. Love your site.

From,

An Inquiring Mind

relationships, The Lifestyle

The Mama Don’t Like Me

Dear T,

Last week I met my boyfriend’s mother for the first time.  Going into the meeting with her, I had high hopes that I would meet her and she would love me.  I mean most parents do.  But instead, she just threw me shade, and without saying so, she made sure I knew she didn’t care for me.  I asked my boyfriend what I did to offend her, but he says his mom just has to warm up to me.   Honestly, I’ve never heard that before.  I’m 29, have a college degree, a good job, my own place, and have a lot to offer.  And yet she doesn’t like me.  I thought maybe she didn’t like me because she doesn’t like the fact her son is gay, but my boyfriend says his mom has accepted his sexuality.  Oh and I was the first guy he has introduced as his boyfriend to his mother.   What are your thoughts?

Sincerely,

Charles No Barkley

Dating, relationships, The Lifestyle

I’m Gay, He’s Bisexual, Can We Work?

Dear T,

I want to start dating this guy I met about 3 weeks ago, but I’m just a little nervous about doing it.  Since we’ve been texting back and forth, I’ve really come to like him.  But, I found out that he is bisexual.  I know people claim to like both men and women, but I just haven’t bought into that idea.  You either like men or you like women.  You may be willing to sleep with both sexes, but you have a definitive preference for one or the other.  So I guess my hesitation in dating this guy, is that he is still confused as to who he is.  I’d rather not waste my time helping him to figure that out.  Do you think I should date him or not?

Sincerely,

MeekFan89