Today like many of you, I find myself still stunned by the events that happened early yesterday morning. To think that someone would go into a nightclub with the intent of killing as many victims as they can spot is horrifying. I remember all the times I’ve been to a gay nightclub with friends. We were usually already a few drinks into our fun night, and we were worried about several things. We worried about our final look entering into the club. We worried about making it to the front of the line before the inflation price hits. Heck, sometimes we even worried about sobering up for the bouncer at the front door. But not once did we necessarily worry about our overall safety. We never got nervous about a gunman busting through club doors, and spraying his bullets of hatred. And after Sunday’s early travesty, I guess we have to worry about that now.
It’s here! It’s finally here! Majoring in Me (Acceptance) is now available for purchase. Wow that sounds so crazy for me to say. What started out as some writing in a notebook about two years ago, is finally a published body of work. To say I’m excited is an understatement. But with my excitement comes a healthy dose of anxiety. I’m not afraid to admit that to you all either.
Happy Thursday Folks! Today marks an amazing day for me, because it is officially According to T’s anniversary. A year ago today, I answered my first question and posted my first response. It’s crazy to think that I’ve been blogging for 12 months. You all have to understand, I wasn’t sure I’d be doing this for a few months let alone for a year. I kind of thought I was running with this crazy idea that people wouldn’t buy into or understand. So I’m thankful for all the support and positive vibes I received from site visitors and those seeking advice. It’s honestly quite humbling.
Folks I’m extremely excited to announce the forth coming release of my very first novel Majoring in Me (Acceptance). It’s something I’ve been dreaming about and working on for a while, and to see everything start to come together is an amazing feeling. And I’m eager to share my labor of love with you all when it’s released on June 5, 2016.
So while I’ve never written about a web series before, I felt compelled to write about the new smash hit About Him. Without hesitation or pause, I can genuinely say that this Signal 23 TV show represents some of the best original programming online. Having only watched two episodes so far, I’ve been thoroughly impressed and entertained.
Dear Straight People,
It’s 2016, so in the name of progress, please stop “gay shaming.” I’m sure some of you may be confused as to what exactly that is, so let me shed some light on the term. You know those instances when you are in an argument with a guy and the two of you trading jabs, then you hit him with the “shut up with your gay a$$” or “stop being a queen”? Well that’s gay shaming folks. Or perhaps you’ve been guilty of accusing a man you don’t particularly care for of being homosexual because his voice wasn’t the deepest. Or he took too much pride in his appearance. Or he just wasn’t the epitome of masculinity. For the purpose of this conversation, that’s “gay shaming.” And to be honest, playing the “you’re gay” card is getting too old and too tired.
I found it necessary today to discuss something that I saw on TV last night. For those of you that have had an opportunity to see Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood this season, then you are aware of gay couple Milan and Miles. For those who haven’t seen it, I’ll offer this brief synopsis. Openly gay rapper Milan is in a “secret” relationship with Miles, a rapper who happens to be closeted in terms of his sexuality. Miles has a longtime friend and once girlfriend named Amber, that he hasn’t told he was gay until last night’s recent episode. Apparently Amber had been hoping to reunite with Miles romantically sometime in the near future. However after revealing who he is to her, Amber takes off running in tears and anger. She then claims everyone was right about him, and proceeds to play a victim role for the rest of the episode. Meanwhile, Miles appears to be sorry for hurting her. With all that said, allow me raise a few issues.
This past weekend I came out to my two male best friends. After I watched Iyanla on TV this past weekend, I realized that I was tired of not being able to be me all the time. So I invited them out for drinks at TGI Fridays, and just told them. My one friend seemed to be cool with it. He said he didn’t understand why I like men, but he also said he is my friend regardless. Yet, he doesn’t want to hear about my personal life in that regard. Now my other friend, was definitely not okay with me being gay. He accused me of being a fake and a liar. And he then told me he wasn’t with this gay shit and didn’t know how to continue being my friend if he doesn’t support homosexuality. With all that said, I come to you wanting to know what to do with my friendships? I’ve known them both for over ten years and don’t really want to lose them as friends, but I want to be free to be me.
Thanks for the advice,
It’s been a few months since I’ve come out to my mom, and things between us are still awkward. Before I told her I like men, she and I used to be best friends. We talked about almost any and everything (with the exception of my sexuality of course). But now, it’s a miracle if we can hold a meaningful conversation without arguing about me being gay. She thinks I’m in some faze, and is determined to see me out of it. I keep telling her I am who I am and that’s not changing, but she doesn’t seem to get it. I know my friends said I should just give her some time to adjust, but how long do I have to wait before I get my friend back? And do you have any tips on how to get my mom to be okay with all of this?
Mama’s Boy 92
Last week I met my boyfriend’s mother for the first time. Going into the meeting with her, I had high hopes that I would meet her and she would love me. I mean most parents do. But instead, she just threw me shade, and without saying so, she made sure I knew she didn’t care for me. I asked my boyfriend what I did to offend her, but he says his mom just has to warm up to me. Honestly, I’ve never heard that before. I’m 29, have a college degree, a good job, my own place, and have a lot to offer. And yet she doesn’t like me. I thought maybe she didn’t like me because she doesn’t like the fact her son is gay, but my boyfriend says his mom has accepted his sexuality. Oh and I was the first guy he has introduced as his boyfriend to his mother. What are your thoughts?
Charles No Barkley