relationships, The Lifestyle

Dear America, Enough with Your Fake Moral Outrage

Dear America,

I’m tired of the fake moral outrage when it comes to the LGBT community. Folks hide behind their roles as parents and their “perception of God” to condemn same-sex PDA, berate the transgendered community, and label all those that stand proudly behind the rainbow flag as “what’s wrong with this country.” And yet, these same individuals will let violent video games raise their kids, will endorse the most sexually degrading song lyrics from men about women, and won’t lift a finger to help children across color lines get access to a great education. But somehow, a simple kiss between two men is the end of America.

The Lifestyle

He Wouldn’t Commit with Me but Now He’s Engaged to Someone Else

Tavion,

I’ve been upset for the last few days now and I don’t know how to get my happy back. I recently found out that a man I was entangled with for like two years is now engaged to a person he’s known for 6 months. It took him 6 months to know he wanted to marry somebody else, but whenever I had conversations with him about me and him being exclusive, he kept saying that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. That was complete bullsh*t. If that wasn’t bad enough, he didn’t even tell me he was engaged. I found out through a friend of a friend.

When I was venting with my best friend about all this, he told me I should just move on and leave it alone. Especially because when I did stop messing with him, it was because I wanted more than good d*ck. How do I just move on though? In case I didn’t make it clear, he’s only known guy for 6 months, and I only cut him off 5 months ago. Even typing that is making me even madder. I want to not only cuss him out, but also want to make his fiancé aware of the timeline here. Suggestions?

-Mr. Why Not Me

The Lifestyle

My Boyfriend Is Mad because I Said No His Marriage Proposal

Dear T,

I find myself in a bad spot with my boyfriend. He surprised me with a proposal a week before Thanksgiving with a ring and everything, but I told him no.  We’ve only been together for a year and I just wasn’t ready. I love him, but I don’t know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him yet.

Anyway, I told him I love him and just needed time, and that I didn’t want to break up. It’s like he didn’t hear anything but me saying no though. Ever since that night, his energy is off and he seems annoyed whenever we’re together. It’s like he’s punishing me. But why would I get engaged to get married if I’m not ready?

So what do I do? How do I get my relationship back on track? By the way, he doesn’t want to talk about the proposal anymore. I tried.

-Not Ready

The Lifestyle

You Want a Commitment from a Man Who Won’t Commit

Dear T,

I’m starting to feel stupid. I’ve been dealing with this guy for about 4 months now, but I’m just frustrated. We have good dates, good conversations, and good sex. He just won’t commit to me. He keeps saying he likes me, but doesn’t want to be in an official relationship. Despite being with me at least 3 days a week every week, he says being in an official relationship is not something he wants to do because relationships are complicated.

I hate being in this position. He’s free to do whatever he wants, and I’m left falling in love or whatever with a guy that’s not technically mine. I know I can just walk away, but I can’t find myself doing it. How would you get this guy to boo you up?

From,

Mr. Frustrated

The Lifestyle

Being In a Long-Distance Relationship on Two Different Continents

Hey T

So I just recently moved away to a whole other continent and I have Left behind my beloved Boyfriend, we’ve been dating for a while and we’re still dating of course. We both get busy but we ALWAYS make time for each other, it’s very important to do that in a Long-distance relationship.

Like I said I’ve moved to another continent and I’m gonna be living here for 3 years or so, and my Boyfriend and I were so used to being with each other and Getting intimate all the time. We love having Sex. A lot of sex. That’s the way we are, but since I’m gonna be away for so long I’m worried that he’s gonna have sex with somebody else, and I don’t want that because I’d never move past it, I’d never forgive.  It would make me so insecure even imagining it breaks my heart, burns my chest, and blurs my eyes with tears.

We’ve talked about this multiple times, I’ve told him I’ll wait for him, I even promised because I love him but I’m scared and worried that he won’t because he’s a guy, but all he tells me is that he Loves me very much and only wants me, I don’t understand why he can’t just promise. Him not promising me gets into my head and makes me overthink and anxious.

-Hannah

The Lifestyle

5 Tips to Save You Money, Time, and Aggravation During Pride Weekend

While I know Pride Season has already technically begun, I usually don’t think it starts until DC Black Pride Weekend. Granted I might have a bias for the weekend because I’m all too familiar with the area and typical events. But, this particular pride occasion also coincides with usually warm weather and Memorial Day Weekend, so it brings all sorts of people from the LGBT spectrum out. If you’ve never been, allow me to tell you that the few days can be quite eventful.

However, the weekend can be the wrong kind of eventful under the wrong circumstances. As with all things, this particular weekend has its share of horror stories. You can probably find past participants that will claim to have been in a fight, hooked up with the wrong guy, got too drunk, lost a wallet, lost a man, and as well as been a part of a plethora of other issues.

And having myself fallen into one of the above categories, I’ve decided to give some words of advice to encourage any of you attending DC Black Pride (and really any pride this summer) to be better. Keep reading as I go over five tips to help you save money, time, and aggravation as you go out and celebrate you for being you.

friendship, The Lifestyle

My Best Friend’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Like Me Because I’m Gay

Tavion,

I’m having a problem I need your help with. Long story short, one of my best friends is a straight guy, and we’ve known each other since middle school. About four months ago he started dating this girl who I can’t stand.  When I first met her I could tell something was off about her, but I kept my feelings to myself. I really wish I hadn’t.

Since she’s been around I don’t see my friend as much, and any time I do see him she’s right there behind him like a shadow. Not only is she there, but she looks at me with this stank face like I pissed in her grits or something. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is jealous or something like I want to screw my best friend.

Keep in mind I’ve never slept with my best friend, nor have I ever wanted to sleep with him. He’s cute and is about his business, but I’ve never wanted to cross that line with him. He’s like my blood brother. He wouldn’t cross that line with me either because he is very much into women.

What do I do in this situation? The longer this woman is around, the more attached she and my friend become. I’m nervous about our friendship. I tried asking why his girl doesn’t seem to like me, but he said she doesn’t have a problem and she’s cool. I know that’s a lie.

Advice needed,

Life is Like a Box of Chocolate.

The Lifestyle

Digesting What Happened to Jussie as a Black Gay Man

I’ve been trying to figure out how to address the recent events that took place in Chicago, and I’ve been struggling to filter out my thoughts. Part of my struggle comes from knowing that Jussie is me and I’m Jussie. Strip away his fame and celebrity, and we are both Black Gay men living in the United States. I keep thinking it could have easily been me that was attacked.

Another part of my struggle comes from being angry about the situation, and not knowing how to write about my feelings in a meaningful way. This is a tough topic to navigate. While I’m not sure if I’ve been able to truly sort out of all of my thoughts in a manner that doesn’t sound like word vomit, I’ve managed to write something. So please, bear with me.

The Lifestyle

Dreams and Fulfillment: Putting Action Behind Your 2019 Resolutions

Making New Year’s Resolutions is nothing new. As a matter of fact, historians have said the Babylonians were the first to make New Year’s Resolutions roughly 4,000 years ago. Which means, for centuries upon centuries, people have used the top of the year to promise themselves better health, better wealth ,and a certain glow up they’ve yet to attain before. While I’m not sure what happened back in the days of the Babylonians, I know in this day and age, commitment to keeping resolutions has become somewhat of a running joke.

Think about it. How many people do you know that have been working on their “summer body” for about four summers? (No shade intended, because I too have been working on my summer body since 2016 myself LOL). And how many folks can you name right now that have been committed to leveling-up in their career yet have made no efforts to move out of their current job? I won’t even touch on the unfulfilled travel goals people make yet make no efforts to save money for said goals. (Again, no shade intended, but I too can relate.)

The Lifestyle

The Importance of Understanding Rejection: A 360 View of “No”

Hey there folks. Lately, I’ve felt the need to share some words of encouragement in an effort to help those feeling fatigued by the pursuit of their dreams. I’m a believer that a lot of times in life, we as humans go through situations that really test us and force to either grow or shrink. Looking back on my life, I can recall countless experiences that have helped push me to evolve. But as I’ve gotten older, and I like to think wiser, I’ve realized that the things that have happened to me on my journey in life happened not only for my own benefit of growth, but also to help someone else. That is if I’m willing to open up and transparent (which is definitely not an easy thing to do.)