The Lifestyle

He Won’t Introduce Me to His Children. Should I Be Upset?

Hi T

I have been dating my guy for 7 months now. He has been divorced for about 2 years (same for me). He hasn’t introduced me to his 3 adult kids – all over 18. I brought it up and he said he was very nervous and wasn’t sure of his kids reacting. He’s a good man yet sensitive and with no backbone. This really bothers me as he has met everyone on my side (I have no kids) but he has met my entire family. How long should I wait and should I walk away should he wouldn’t introduce me? Thanks so much.

-Lizzie

relationships

I Just Found out He Slept with His Best Friend and I’m Crushed

Me and my ex are rekindling things again and it felt great and things were going really well, but one of our mutual friends let slip that my ex (paddy) has slept with his best friend who is a girl, and they’re still best friends now. This supposedly happened pre me and he says they were very drunk and that he actually regrets most of what happened that night, however, I can’t help but feel physically sick every time I think about it and the fact that he’s always said his body count is lower than I now believe it to be. This has set me back a lot in how well things were going and he even admitted that him and her spoke about it the other day so he’s been thinking about it, I can’t help but panic that he’s been thinking about it all through our relationship and would rather it was her there than being with me, I’m talking about him tonight but I feel very hurt and don’t see a way through this right now, any advice would be appreciated greatly thank you!

-Lily

The Lifestyle

He Wouldn’t Commit with Me but Now He’s Engaged to Someone Else

Tavion,

I’ve been upset for the last few days now and I don’t know how to get my happy back. I recently found out that a man I was entangled with for like two years is now engaged to a person he’s known for 6 months. It took him 6 months to know he wanted to marry somebody else, but whenever I had conversations with him about me and him being exclusive, he kept saying that he wasn’t looking for a relationship. That was complete bullsh*t. If that wasn’t bad enough, he didn’t even tell me he was engaged. I found out through a friend of a friend.

When I was venting with my best friend about all this, he told me I should just move on and leave it alone. Especially because when I did stop messing with him, it was because I wanted more than good d*ck. How do I just move on though? In case I didn’t make it clear, he’s only known guy for 6 months, and I only cut him off 5 months ago. Even typing that is making me even madder. I want to not only cuss him out, but also want to make his fiancé aware of the timeline here. Suggestions?

-Mr. Why Not Me

Dating

I’m Dating My Ex’s Friend and He Accused Me of Being Foul

Dear Tavion,

I came across your site and saw you give advice, which is good because I could use some. I’ve been talking to this guy Jay for months now. I really like him. I mean really like him. I won’t lie, I could see myself marrying him one day. The problem I’m having has nothing to do with him, but more so my ex.

I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago after I found out he was doing some creep shit. I haven’t seen or heard from him since, and unfollowed him on social media and everything. Again, we had no communication until a week ago, when I got a DM from him calling me foul for dating one of his friends. I didn’t know what he was talking about, so I asked him. He said he saw me in Jay’s IG story for a WCW shoutout.

When I asked how he even knew Jay, he said they were friends in college. I promise you, the whole time me and ex were together he didn’t mention Jay once. I asked when was the last time they spoke, he said it had been a minute, but they were still good. He kept going that if the roles were reversed and he was dating one of my friends, I’d be salty. That’s true, but again, I don’t think Jay and ex are even good friends, or even close. Pretty positive my ex is just starting sh*t. What do you think? Even if I’m wrong in this, I’m not giving up Jay.

Just an FYI, when Jay and I talked about it, he said he hadn’t heard from ex in like 2 years and didn’t know I used to be with my ex. Jay also told me he thinks the situation is weird, but he doesn’t want to just stop talking to me.

What are your thoughts?

I Call BS

friendship

My Friend Is Dating a Guy in Jail and I’m not a Fan

T,

I need someone to tell me I’m not crazy. My best friend has been real secretive about who he’s been dating lately, so I thought it was weird. At first he was trying to act like he wasn’t talking to anybody, but I know my friend.  I know when he’s talking to a guy. Call me nosey or whatever, but I kept pressing him about it and he finally told me he’s dating a guy I’ll call Joe.

Then he started telling me he’s never met Joe but it’s been like four months. I thought maybe he was on some long-distance type of stuff, and my friend said it’s basically long distance. When I asked when he and Joe would meet up, my friend said it would be a few more months because Joe is currently locked up. I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe he started dating a man while dude is locked up.

I want better for my friend. He’s never been in a good relationship or even talked to a good guy before. And I don’t think this guy is going to help him break his trend, and I don’t want my friend heartbroken. I told him to reconsider, but he won’t listen. He actually gets pissed if I bring him up. I know you may tell me to mind my business, but I want to protect my friend.

Thanks for your help,

The Concerned Bestie

friendship, relationships

My Best Friend Won’t Stop Judging Me Because I’m in a Throuple

Dear T,

I’m tired of my judgmental ass friend.  I mean I love how he’s protective of me, and has always been a ride or die, but for the past few months he has been making slick comments about my personal life. So about three months ago, my boyfriend and I decided to become a throuple with a great guy we both liked. The arrangement we have is really good, and I’m happy. You’d think my happiness is what my best friend would care about, but it’s not.

When I first told him about my situation, he told me it was a terrible idea. He said he couldn’t do it, and that it’s going to end badly with me single. I tried to explain to him that me and my boyfriends are good, but he believes this won’t work. I told him that I didn’t want to hear any more of that negative sh$t, and for a short while that worked. But then when I’d bring both boyfriends around him, he would be real shady to them. And when it’s just he and I, he asks messy questions like “who you like better?”, “who would you marry since you want a husband and legally can only have one?” Stuff like that.

I love my friend but what do I do about his judgment? It’s getting to the point where I thought about slapping his a$$.

-Keep Your Judgement

relationships

He Said He Won’t Marry Me Until I Satisfy Him in Bed

Dear Tavion,

I’ve been dating a divorced man with erectile dysfunction for over 2 years. His ex lives down the street and is now dating a woman. He made her wait 6 years for marriage and said he only proposed when she started “putting out” on the regular. He used to be young, healthy, and virile with her. Now he is a middle-aged man with high cholesterol and ED. Despite his inability to perform sexually, he demands that I please him in bed. He needs a ton of stimulation to get aroused despite taking daily Cialis. Because I see his ex on the regular, I resent her for stealing his good boner years. I’m at a crossroads now where I think it’s best I leave him. He doesn’t want to propose unless I satisfy him sexually, but his boner doesn’t work anymore and he has a low sex drive in his 40s. I think using sex as the barometer for getting married is dumb, but I’m just a woman. What do you think?

-Annabelle

Dating, friendship

I Hooked Up with Him First, Should I Tell My Friend?

T,

I’m in a bad situation with one of my close friends. My friend is the type to keep his personal life in terms of dating a secret until he’s serious with a person. I respect that for him, and even admire him. The only thing is, he just told me about the guy he’s serious about and showed me his Instagram, and he’s definitely someone I hooked up with back in the day.

I didn’t know what to do when he was telling me about this boy, so I didn’t tell him anything. My friend really doesn’t get serious with people often, so I didn’t want to be the one that ruins sh*t. But I’ve been thinking I should say something in case the guy tells my friend, and then my friend looks at me crazy. I don’t like this guy at all by the way. I’m not sure what to do because I feel like I’m in a lose/lose situation. Suggestions welcomed.

-I Was Technically First

relationships

My Boyfriend’s Best Friend Doesn’t Like Me. What Should I Do?

Hello Tavion,

I’m writing you because I need help dealing with my boyfriend’s friend.  I originally had no freaking clue why my bf’s friend didn’t like me. Every time I came around the friend he acted like I killed his damn dog or something. I’ve always been super nice to him and friendly, but he’s short with me and treats me like I don’t belong. I asked my bf what the deal is, and he said his friend just takes time to warm up to people. But I called bullsh*t. I told my boyfriend it seemed like his friend was jealous of me. That’s when he confessed that his friend liked him when they initially met 5 years ago, but his friend got over it. I said the friend is lying about being over it, but that made my boyfriend upset because he thinks I’m making something out of nothing. What do you think about all this?

-They Ain’t Friends