My boyfriend just doesn’t understand why I don’t want to meet his parents. My boyfriend is white and grew up in a small town in Arkansas, and his mom and dad are republicans. Given all that’s going on and given he’s my first white boyfriend, I don’t want to meet his parents at this time. I get those are his parents and I’ll probably have to meet them, but I’m not there yet. We’ve been together for 6 months. I guess my question here is would you suck it up and meet the parents now? I mean my boyfriend is really riding my ass about this and not in a good way.
-Mr. Dark Knight 93
P.S. My boyfriend is definitely not a republican
Dear Mr. Dark Knight 93,
Thanks for writing to me. Not even going to lie to you. This is one of those questions that I really have to remember to be objective with. While I’ve long respected people’s right to hold political opinions different from my own, a certain narcissist with the temperament of a spoiled toddler has honestly worn my nerves and patience thin for the Republican Party. (No offense to anyone, I’m just keeping it 100.) But anyway, I’m going to do my best to give you an unbiased opinion on your dilemma.
I understand that in this day and age with everything going on, meeting members of a party led by 45, a man who demonizes the Black Lives Matter protests across the country, is not that enticing. Heck, I’m a little anxious at the prospect myself, because I get triggered when trying to explain to people why chanting “Black lives matter” actually matters. But here’s the catch in your situation. Your boyfriend’s parents may claim to be republican, but may not actually support the current occupier of The White House.
Your man’s parents could be republicans like Mitt Romney, or John Kasich, or Colin Powell. These are all people that have publicly rebuked the Con Artist in Chief, yet have still claimed to be a part of the GOP. Heck, Mitt was marching the streets of DC saying, “Black lives matter.” And think about this, your boyfriend is introducing you to his parents as his boyfriend. The fact he wants to do that may signal they aren’t the Big Bad Wolves you think they’ll be because that’s fairly “liberal.”
Look, go meet your man’s parents. He obviously thinks highly of you enough that he wants to introduce you to the folks that raised him. Trust me, most people reserve that kind of honor for people they can see building a future with, so take this as a compliment. If this guy really cares for you, he wouldn’t purposefully and actively put you in a situation that would make you feel uncomfortable or triggered.
Suggestions going forward
- Remember, not all republicans are made equal. So before you write the parents off, go see them first.
- Now upon meeting them if you find they are the folks you fear, then simply excuse yourself from the meeting.
As always nothing but love,
Oh, and make sure you check out my new scripted show, Majoring in Me the Podcast.