Love your advice, been a fan for a while. There’s a friend that I have that I’m insanely attracted to. He knows that I’m attracted to him but I’ve never “tried” him because he’s not interested. He says that we’re like family and he’s not feeling me like that. I don’t see us like that.
Well…recently he created an online platform for adult entertainment (onlyfans, jutforfans, etc). I’m a subscriber to his platform. I haven’t told him this. I also have been making suggestions for different content he should produce anonymously as a patron on the website. At first I was cool with this but now I think I might be treading on boundaries. Am I wrong for this? Thanks for the advice
Might Be Grimy
Dear Might Be Grimy,
Thanks for writing to me. I appreciate your kind words about my site, and happy to hear you’re a fan. Nice words from folks like you help fuel me to keep this website going. So again, thanks.
In terms of your question, I don’t think you’re grimy. You haven’t necessarily wronged your friend. However, I do think by subscribing to his adult platform, you’re putting yourself in an even more complicated position. Your friend has made it clear that he doesn’t have a romantic interest in you. And by paying to watch him “adulting”, you’re probably just deepening your level of attraction for a guy you can’t have. It’s like you’re torturing yourself.
Instead of feeding your attraction to your friend, you should be doing what you can to reinforce the friend boundary line between you two. In your case, start by unsubscribing to his platform. Not that I’m trying to cut into anyone’s profit, but this is about you protecting your heart and preserving your friendship. It’s hard for your attraction to go away when you have paid access to all his nakedness.
Suggestions going forward
- Again, unsubscribe from your friend’s viewing service. Stop making life even more complicated where your friend is concerned.
- If you need some time apart from your buddy to adjust how you view him, take it. It would benefit you and your friendship in the long run.
- Go on a date or two with someone else to get this friend out of your system. (Please just be sure to keep social distancing protocols in mind.)
As always nothing but love,
Oh, and make sure you check out my new scripted show, Majoring in Me the Podcast.