Why You Should Leave Someone’s Romantic Past in the Past

Hey folks,

I just want to drop a little advice that I hope helps somebody in the pursuit of love.  While this advice may not be that revolutionary in context, it’s still important nonetheless. Let it serve as a reminder to those who are single and searching. So without further delay, the advice I have for you all today is this. Someone’s past is someone’s past, and you shouldn’t let that prevent you from finding “Bae”.

For starters, what a person did in his romantic past before he met you is technically none of your business. The number of people he’s slept with, who he slept with, and the specific details on how he slept with other people before you, is a part of his private history. He’s not obligated to tell you anything. The only thing a potential partner should share with you is his status and whether or not he currently has one of a number of STIs.  Oh, and he should tell you if he’s slept with someone in your inner circle. Other than that, you aren’t entitled to know anything else. If your could-be-boo shares willingly, that’s completely up to him. (Now I didn’t bring up the topic of whether a person’s sexual history includes something of the film variety, because that’s a discussion for another day. However, I can definitely understand if someone feels as if they are entitled to know if a potential partner had a starring role in such a movie if you catch my drift.)

Also, some of you ask your dates these questions about their sexual history knowing good and well you aren’t able to handle the truth. As soon as you hear the truth, you’re ready to cast judgment and ghost a guy with potential. And in many cases, that’s a disservice to the guy you like and even yourself.

For those that want to claim, “I don’t want to date a hoe,” I ask you, who classifies as a hoe? Let’s talk numbers. According to the CDC, the average American man and woman loses his or her virginity at 17. Also, the CDC claims that roughly 89% of women have sex before marriage, and about 90% of men do the same. Rounding out my statistical facts for the day, an article on Healthline.Com claims the average number of sexual partners for both men and women in the U.S. is 7.2. All these numbers boil down to one thing. Nearly everyone you date will have a sexual history that doesn’t include you, and that’s not for anyone to really pass judgment on. Keep that in mind before you start writing folks off as promiscuous.

Now just to recap, a person’s past is his to hold onto (with the few exceptions l mentioned). Don’t be so eager to dive into a person’s sexual history if you already know you can’t handle the truth. And should you dive into a potential bae’s past and find out some truths, don’t be so quick rule someone out as just a whore.

As always nothing but love,

Tavion Scott

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