The Audacity of Boldness (If You Want Him, Say Something)

In this day and age, I’ve noticed that being bold can earn you a bad reputation.  Somehow knowing what you want in a mate and pursuing that, will have people calling you desperate.  Or maybe thirsty.  Which is a bit crazy if you ask me.

Think of it this way. If a recent high school graduate knew he wanted to be a doctor and eagerly pursued that career through years of studies in college and med school, then that person would be applauded.  People would admire him for knowing what he wanted and taking the steps to get it.  So why is it so different for a person to know what he wants in a man, see what he thinks is a reality of his vision, and attempt to lock down this dream guy as a boo?

c46aa97da652b657806f7b984054ce2bTake this guy for example.  You come across his profile on Instagram, and decide to follow him.  Well after a month of following him, you get a little insight on who he is as a person and come to find out he’s cool people.  And more importantly he’s single.  Would you be apprehensive about saying something because you don’t want to come off as a “thirst box”?  It’s okay to be honest.

Let me assure everyone reading this, it’s okay to be bold and to speak up about what you want. What’s the worst that can happen?  A guy tells you he’s not interested in pursuing anything romantically with you.  So what!  Gracefully accept what he told you, and keep it pushing.  It’s better than saying nothing, and letting regret torment you.

Now look, as with most things, I do think it’s all about how you approach a situation.  I wouldn’t just sit at a desk of a future employer without applying first, and I wouldn’t just move my furniture in an available house without getting everything squared away with the seller.  So I would never run up to someone and tell them “you’re gonna be my boo,” and I won’t message a person some lewd comments.  Nor do I encourage anyone to do that.  But, I do encourage folks to speak.  In the great words of rapper Ace Hood, “closed mouths don’t get fed on this boulevard.”  How can you land your boo if your quiet?

While I understand social media has caused this generation to be socially underdeveloped in some ways, I just hope people understand the benefit in being appropriately bold.  When exhibited right, it’s attractive, and could lead to you getting who you want.  So if you haven’t took hold of your boldness, try it.

PS, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t provide a list of don’ts in your quest to live boldly in romance.

  1. Don’t DM nudes as your hello message. That’s just not hot.
  2. Don’t introduce yourself by telling a person all that you want to do with them in the bedroom.
  3. Don’t be so afraid of rejection. You won’t find everyone attractive, and everyone won’t find you attractive. That’s just life.
  4. And take no for no. If a guy’s not interested, receive that and move on.


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