Personal Revelations, The Lifestyle

Intimate Convos with Tavion: Introduction to Gay Culture 101

As I’ve already shared in previous posts, when I first came out to my gay bestie, he gave me what I call my “Gay Immersion” course.  He educated me on gay social networks like BGC Live and Adam4Adam (BGC/A4A).  He introduced me to the good, bad, and ugly of the gay club scene (Gay Clubbing).  And he showed me my first gay television shows in Noah’s Arc and The DL Chronicles, and first gay film in Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom.  Besides the aforementioned things, he also gave me lessons on some slightly more important aspects of gay culture.

For example, my best friend explained to me what all these sexual labels out here mean.  When I first got on BGC and A4A, there was a section asking me for my sexual preference.  The options to choose from were top, versatile top, versatile, versatile bottom, and bottom.  While I could use deductive reasoning and logic to assume what was what, he definitely shed some light on the notion of labeling, and how so many people in the gay community make such a big deal about it.  He was quick let me know that many will claim they are a top, but don’t really mean it.  And that being a good bottom requires a certain level of hard work and cleanliness.  He couldn’t however really make the whole versatile, versatile top, versatile bottom thing make too much sense to me.  I mean if you like performing in both sexual roles, just call yourself verse. Sometimes you like to bottom, other times you like to top, why further sub-categorize sexual preference.   But I digress.

However going back to my friend’s take on the cleanliness of bottoms.  He shed light on a term every gay man, top or bottom, should know.  Enema!  As most people reading this know, an enema can prevent an embarrassing story from happening, that you or your date can tell your friends later.  My bestie made a point to share the importance of warm water, rinsing and repeating, and clear water. LOL!  I won’t go any further, but you get it.

My gay bestie also dropped some knowledge on me about what some of these other common terms in the community meant.  Take for instance the words “twink” and “bear.”  Twink was never really a term I had heard before declaring my sexuality, and was surprised to find out who it describes.  And it was humorous to discover that bear was used to describe more than Winnie the Pooh and Yogi.  But it was his explanation of what “butch queen”, “trade”, “church queen”, “stunt queen”, and “school boy realness”, that I found most intriguing.  Apparently he said I fell in the category of “school boy realness.”  I asked him why that was, and to this day all I can figure is that I have some kind of aura about myself.  Oh and he was quick to point out that being a “stunt queen” is not something to aspire to be.  Having seen a few of these individuals in action, he was absolutely right.

Anyway, today’s convo was really more about nostalgia for me.  Thinking about how far I’ve come since my novice experience in my gay sexuality.  Perhaps one of these days I’ll post a gay dictionary of some sort, so other gay beginners and get better knowledged. Lol!

Until next time.

-Tavion Scott

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