Folks, there are just some things you should talk very little about or not talk about at all on a first date. I’m afraid there are many individuals out here that don’t know what those things are, and are in the dark as to why they aren’t getting a callback from their suitor. So consider this me trying to help you, or perhaps your friend, out a little bit.
While it’s perfectly fine to begin your date talking about the weather. Or last night’s basketball game. Or in this day and age, Trump’s latest antics. You can’t waste your whole night talking about everything but you two. A first date is your opportunity to make a good impression, and to see if you two click. Don’t waste too much of your time talking all night about things that won’t help either one of you determine if date two is worth it.
- You Chew Out the Waiter
Chewing out your waiter throughout the night is a huge turn off. It will make you look like the first female dog, if you catch my drift. LOL! Short of a restaurant employee spitting in your food, or being excessively rude and nasty to you or your date, keep it cool. The waiter didn’t refill your glass. So what! Relax. Show your date that you can handle yourself, and aren’t one of those people with a short fuse.
- What’s Wrong with Him
I’m pretty certain that no one goes on a date expecting to be shaded and read throughout the evening. I mean, who wants to be called out for the wrinkled shirt he wore, the pimple on his left cheek, or how he is shorter in person than you thought he’d be. That could all be true, but telling a man that on the first day is a shot at his ego. You are auditioning to be his mate, not his mother. Nitpicking is not your job here.
- Uninteresting Topics
Be boring on a first date, and I can almost guarantee you won’t have a second. While you may find the latest global warming bill being shuffled through the U.S. Congress interesting, doesn’t mean he will. You might as well hand him a bottle of sleeping pills. The point here is, don’t talk about things to a great degree, that only interest you.
- Your Family Issues
The thing about family issues, is that we all have them to a certain extent. Some people may have more severe issues than others, but no family functions without a little dysfunction. In light of this perspective, I would argue that no one wants you to unload all your issues on them after having known you for only 5 minutes. Let Dr. Phil and Iyanla be your sound board for that. Or at least get to know a guy for longer than 5 minutes, to know if he is even in a position to emotionally support you while dealing with your problems.
- Everything Your Friend Says
When all you do on the date is talk about all the funny things your friend says, and your friend’s latest intelligent take on the world, you in a way play yourself. If the man wanted to take out your friend, he could have asked him. The occasional anecdote about your friend is fine; but, if all you do is talk about your buddy, then this date is dead in the waters. In fact, just float your friend’s number to the guy if you are going to do this.
You’ve had a bad day? Keep it to yourself. You didn’t like the weather? Keep it to yourself. Your boss just sent you the most annoying text about work? Again, keep it to yourself. One thing that really irks me, is a habitual complainer. There are so many things in life to be thankful for, that complaining should be a rarity instead of the norm. And for you to unload all your grievances on the first date, gives the impression you are a Debbie Downer. So try not to do it.
- A Dissertation about You
You may have the money of Bill Gates and moonlight as a superhero, but no one wants to hear you brag about yourself all night during a first time encounter. It makes you sound like tool. By all means, share some of your accomplishments, goals, and aspirations in life. However, don’t present yourself like you are running for president or making your case as to why you should be selected for the Supreme Court. (Speaking of SCOTUS, what will it take to get the Senate to do its job and hold a hearing?)
- How You Can’t Keep a Man
Sharing the fact that you can’t keep a man, is a warning signal to a guy on a first date. By telling him you are having a repetitive issue with men, is like flashing a neon sign in front of him that blinks “trouble.” Nobody is perfect, which means there is no such thing as the perfect dater or perfect relationship. With that said, give a guy a chance to discover your flaws, and to decide for himself whether or not pursuing something with you is worth his time.
- How You Miss Your Ex
This one really should be obvious, but some people just don’t get it. A potential new boo doesn’t want to sit and discuss why you and your old boo didn’t’ make it. On a first date, no one wants to hear about how you still love Brandon. About how you were so good to Brandon, but he still cheated on you. About how you are just trying to get over Brandon. Listen, if you aren’t over your ex, then take that particular emotional baggage with you to a counselor or confidant, not your first date.