I have this coworker who I’ve become friends with over the past year or so. Well about two weekends ago, he invited me to a birthday party for his sister at his dad’s house. It’s there that I met his dad, and his dad is too sexy. I couldn’t stop looking at him that whole night. The dad noticed me staring at him, and before I left he slipped me his number. And since then, we’ve been talking every day, and have a date planned for Friday. But now I’m starting to feel a little guilty. As if I betrayed by coworker somehow. Part of me thinks I should tell my coworker I’ve been talking to his dad, but the other part of me is not trying to do all that. If I tell him I’m going on a date with his dad, it may make things awkward. What should I do here? And don’t worry, the dad is not married to coworker’s mom or anybody, and coworker knows his dad is gay.
Thanks for the help,
Love Some Grey
Dear Love Some Grey,
Thanks for writing to me. It sounds like you definitely got yourself into a sticky situation. Dating the family member of a friend can be tricky. Especially a family member so close to a friend such as a father. I have to warn you, you may not like what I have to say.
You mentioned having a concern about making things awkward in your friendship. Well I hate to be the one to inform you, but there is no way I can see things NOT getting awkward between you and your coworker as long as you pursue his father. Who wants to think about a friend having sex with his dad? I mean how would you feel if you found out friend was messing with your dad?
Now unless you have an overwhelming attraction and connection to the daddy beyond sex, I think you should end things ASAP. And yes I understand he gave you his number knowing you are his son’s friend. But, don’t play with fire and potentially mess up a friendship and working relationship. Like the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea.
Suggestions going forward.
- If in the brief time you have been talking to this gentlemen you feel there is potentially a real future here, then by all means pursue him. Just remember you are risking a friendship in doing so.
- If you want to attempt to preserve your friendship while also landing your “older boo”, the time to reveal to your coworker of your blossoming romance is sooner rather than later. Explain that the attraction you have is not about sex necessarily, but there is an overall bigger story. Only say that though if you mean it. If it is only about sex, then abort this mission and move on.
- While I understand your attraction to older men (I really do given my dating history is full of them, although none of them were old enough to have conceived me), try to weed out the ones that are related to those in your inner circle.
As always nothing but love,