Great Guy but Can’t Kiss….What to Do?

Dear T,

What do you do when you like a guy, but he is a terrible kisser?  I’ve been on a few dates with this man, and we have great conversation and he is physically attractive, but the kissing sucks.  In the worst way.  The kisses are always wet, and sometimes I feel like he is attacking my mouth.  To top it off, I never feel the spark.  So I ask you, how do I teach this guy to kiss?


Terry Baby 29

Dear Terry Baby 29,

Thanks for taking the time to write to me.  I know it’s a bummer when you find your seemingly “perfect” guy, but he can’t rev your engine.  I can remember one guy from my past who was super attractive, had amazing drive, and was in many ways someone I envisioned as a mate.  However, when we kissed I was void of the passion.  Unlike your circumstance, the guy didn’t have a problem using his lips.  I just didn’t feel anything when he did.  Thankfully we ended our “situationship,” and we each moved onto what was better for us.

The incomparable Cher once said in a song “it’s in his kiss.”  And believe me, she is absolutely right.   A kiss taps into your inner instincts.  If you don’t feel the smallest spark between you and this guy when you smooch, that’s a little alarming.   You two may click on many levels, and he may have all of your desired characteristics in a man, but if you don’t have sexual chemistry then you don’t have sexual chemistry.  I honestly feel this type of chemistry is instantaneous.  Within the first three times of kissing you should know whether or not a guy is sexually stimulating to you. (I only need one kiss to tell me that usually LOL!)

With all that said, if you really feel you were incapable of feeling the spark with this man because he is such a bad kisser, than you can attempt to correct his shortcoming.  In this attempt, you have to make sure you do it in a way that doesn’t make him feel humiliated.  Keep in mind, that even if you make him a better kisser, that doesn’t mean that spark will happen.

Suggestions going forward.

  1. If there is no real sexual chemistry that exists between you and this guy, then be fair to you and him, and move on. No need to further in this situation, if in your heart of hearts you already know the truth.
  1. If you are determined to stay with this man and improve his kissing, set up a romantic night in which you basically show him how you prefer to be smooched. In private, be seductive.  Grab his lips and part them the way you like.  Ease into his mouth, demonstrating how you would like it done to you.  Use your tongue to either block or guide his tongue in the kiss.  As long as you keep it sexy and seductive, the guy shouldn’t be that offended.

As always nothing but love,


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6 thoughts on “Great Guy but Can’t Kiss….What to Do?”

  1. AMBanks says:

    My gosh his lips are gorgeous

    1. According To T says:

      He most certainly isn’t ugly!!! At all lol

  2. Hold On 82 says:

    As long as he doesn’t have constant bad breath, you can work with him on kissing

    1. According To T says:

      Bad breath is most definitely a turn off. A top offense when dating

  3. Fed Up says:

    Not being able to kiss is a DEAL BREAKER

    1. AsAccordingToT says:

      Absolutely it is

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