Confidence is Sexy!

Hey T,

I’m going to try and keep this brief. Since social media has become such a big thing now, I’ve become increasingly more insecure. Men are posting pics of themselves with their rippling abs, their superman chests, their Hulk like arms, and their huge legs and butts that can crack walnuts. And then I look at me. Standing at 6’2″, weighing 240, with a medium/large build, a keg for a stomach, and a butt barely visible. Thankfully I’ve been told I have a nice smile and dimples. But honestly, how is a guy like me supposed to catch someone with mini versions of Captain America and the Black Panther walking around out here?


D.C. Marvelous

Why hello D.C. Marvelous,

Thanks for writing to me.  I think you by far have my favorite alias.  I’m a big fan of Marvel, and love the Black Panther.  Speaking of the Black Panther, let me assure you that a majority of the men in this country aren’t walking around looking like him or Captain America.  In fact, a recent article published in the Los Angeles Times states that nearly three-quarters of men in the U.S. are overweight or obese.  So you don’t have think of yourself in the minority here.  There are more people that look like you than them.

With that said, take some pride in your body and looks.  You said you have a nice smile and dimples, start there.  For a lot of people, a healthy smile is super attractive.  And you said you’re 6’2”!  When have you ever known being tall to be out of style.  Height has always been a sexy attribute for men.  In addition, you say you have a keg for a stomach and are a little thick. I’ll have you know there are plenty of people, including myself, that appreciate and like a little thickness in their life.  So embrace your appearance.  The reason you’re having a hard time finding a date may have less to do with what you look like, and more to do with your lack of confidence in yourself.

Now if you don’t think you can be confident in your current body, then change it.  The natural and safe way! Join your local gym and start putting in some work.  Heck, a few thousand squats combined with some 900 hundred leg presses will definitely help your butt start poking out a bit.  And start developing healthier eating habits.  They say abs start in the kitchen, and they are right.  If you decide to lose weight, just remember it’s about becoming a healthy and confident you. Don’t worry about trying to attain superhero status.

Going forward here are my suggestions.

  1. Always love the skin you’re in. If you can’t be confident in the person you present to the world, then don’t expect the world, or potential dates, to be either.
  1. If you choose to lose weight, find a personal trainer at the local gym or even online to help you if you can afford it. It’s easier to lose weight when someone provides you with workout and meal plans.  I know a few trainers on Instagram, if interested just message me.
  1. Again, if you choose to lose weight, but don’t want to do the personal trainer route, try working out with a friend. I’ve found having a workout buddy helps me stay committed to the process, and keeps me accountable.
  1. If you slim down your body, please don’t get a big head. People that lose weight and start feeling themselves too much, are beyond annoying.  There is a fine line between confidence and cockiness.
  1. Remember, thick guys get a lot of play too! They can find many a dates among gays and heteros. LOL!

As always nothing but love,


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5 thoughts on “Confidence is Sexy!”

  1. D.C. Marvelous says:

    Well alrighty then. Think I’ll remain a thickums, but just go the gym to tone up a bit.

  2. Jojo52 says:

    I loooooooooooove thick men! Oh and yes confidence is so important

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