So I’ve been talking to this guy for about three weeks and he won’t kiss me on the lips. However, he doesn’t mind my lips in other places if you know what I mean. What do you think is up with this guy?
Dear No Kisses,
Thanks for writing me. Let’s just get right to it. I hate to break it you, but based on what you sent me I don’t think you two are headed toward a relationship. You may be trying to talk to him or date him, but this guy is using you for a good time. You didn’t state it in your letter, but I’m guessing you two haven’t been on a date outside of your place or his. I’m also guessing that when you two do meet up it’s only at his request, and he’s “busy” anytime you suggest meeting up or going out. Plus, I’d put money on it that the only things you know about this guy are surface level. Stuff like the general area of his profession, his first name (or what he told you it was), what he likes to do for fun, and things like that.
Look. With the exception of drunken kissing, a kiss for many people is a “tell.” When a person kisses another, it tells him whether or not there is real chemistry between him and the other individual. No matter how much a person has in common with another, a kiss will make or break a blooming relationship. While dating, if I kiss a guy and feel nothing, then I immediately place him in a friend zone or in the past. I say all that because if the guy hasn’t attempted to kiss you or allowed you to kiss him in three weeks, but has no problem with you visiting “downtown.” Then he just wants you for sexual favors and nothing more.
Going forward I have my usual suggestions.
- Unless you are okay with being this guy’s toy, end things. My gut is telling me nothing besides sex is going to come from this.
- If you ultimately want a relationship with a guy, then don’t be so quick to show future dates your bedroom skill set so soon. Get to know them a bit. I’m not necessarily advocating the whole “90 days” theory. However, three weeks with no kissing yet “head games” from your end, is too soon.
- Again, if you ultimately want a relationship with a guy, share a kiss on the lips before you kiss anything else.
As always, nothing but love.