relationships

I Cheated with a Coworker, Now My Boyfriend Wants Me to Quit My Job

Tavion,

I screwed up bad. I cheated on my boyfriend of two years with my coworker. It wasn’t like an ongoing thing, but  one night after coworker and I went to happy hour. When I told my boyfriend about it, he was pissed. He even broke up with me for a minute. A few weeks ago though, he decided to give us another chance. We are trying to work on us, but now he’s demanding I quit my job. He doesn’t want me around coworker, which I get. However, I like my job. If I love my boyfriend but really like my job what do I do?

-I Blew It

relationships

After Four Years My Boyfriend Still Won’t Marry Me

Dear Tavion,

I’m having a problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for four years, and we have a great relationship. I love him more today than ever, and he says the same. The issue is he won’t commit to marrying me. He told me that he doesn’t want to be with anyone else, but marriage is not something he’s ready to do. Like how does he not know if he’s ready to marry me after four years? I’ve been trying not to blow up at him too much because when we first started dating he said he wasn’t sure about marriage to anyone, but might be open to it. I get that. But damn, what is holding him back? Do you think I should press him on it? Or do you think I should give up on my dreams of marriage?

-Mr. Fed Up

relationships

My Boyfriend Has a Teenage Son and He Lied about It

Tavion,

I feel lied to and disgusted, and yet I’m still in love with my dumb ass boyfriend. We’ve been together for a little over a year and he’s told me about his two young kids. In fact, I’ve met the kids and they’re very sweet. The best part is the kids have the same mom, she’s remarried, and she and my boyfriend have a good coparenting relationship with no drama. I thought I hit the jackpot for a straight man over 35, but then he hit me with some news.

He tells me that he has a teenage son too. I’m mad because I don’t know why he’s kept this son a secret. He said him and the boy’s mom never got along, and the boy lives on the other side of the country, so he hasn’t seen him in years. When I asked why he’s just telling me now about his other son, he said it’s because the son’s mother is suing him for back child support.

I don’t know what to do. I’m a ride or die type of person, but I can’t stand a liar. But I also love his ass still. Should I try to make this relationship work?

-Miss Truly Blown

relationships

My Ex Wants Me Back but Is Still Seeing the Woman He Cheated With

Hi T,

I hope that you’ll be able to notice this. I just recently broke up with my ex and we’re in a long-distance. We’ve been together since 2017 & I just found out 3 weeks ago that for the whole duration of our relationship he’s been dating another woman. That’s why I saw your page & I’m here right now.

Your advice here helped me in a way to understand why my ex did it so I forgave him. But couple of days ago I saw that he’s currently with the other girl, so I ended our relationship for good and I blocked him everywhere. Now that I’m trying to heal & be happy, he’s able to find a way to reach out to me, he said that I’m the one that he loves and our issue is the distance. He said that I’m the one he keeps thinking about and he wanted to be with me and closing the gap between us is the answer to our problem. But it doesn’t make any sense to me cause he doesn’t wanna let her go until we’re together physically (crazy right?!).

He’s basically cheating on both me & the other woman. He also asked that if his feelings aren’t real then why is he even trying to get me back at all? Cause in the first place, it’s really easy to just ghost someone especially in a long distance & we haven’t seen each other for about 1 yr & 9 months cause of pandemic. That’s why I need your help or opinion 🥺. I know that you don’t advise anyone to just move on or something but my heart wanted to try & make this relationship work, and my mind is telling me to just move on and it’s driving me crazy.

-R

relationships

My Boyfriend Has Slept with All His Guy Friends

T,

I recently started dating someone last year and we are thinking about taking our relationship to the next step and moving in together. My partner has had a very sexual past and he’s slept with just about every male friend he has had for the sake of just sexual pleasure. He assures me he is a changed person and no longer wants anything to do with any of that and I believe him. However, I have not met these friends and I know I eventually will because some of them are his best friends. Now, I am not a person who puts a huge amount of importance on sex, I know everyone has a past, however, a big part of me is upset that I can’t even have this intimacy of sex between us because I know all of his male friends have had a piece of him already and if put in a position where I’d have to meet these people, I’d feel like a clown. How do I approach this? It’s really having me second guess our relationship.

-Reluctant Rez

relationships

My Boyfriend is Bisexual and That’s Causing Me to Be Insecure

Hi

Well how do I start? I am 18 years and I am dating a bisexual guy. We have been together for a year now and he is the best boyfriend I ever had. He let me know about his sexuality before we started dating. The more I got to learn about him the more I liked him and I accepted him since the beginning. We rarely touch on the subject about his past with other guys. And we’ve had a beautiful relationship full of love and adoration.

Recently he posted a picture online captioning it about pride month and basically speaking out about him being bisexual. I’ve always supported him and like I said accepted because I always thought that if he’s with me that’s all that matters right. But when I saw his post my heart sank. I couldn’t swallow what he had done and my mind went swarming with insecurity.

I cried that night asking myself I am going to be enough for him if he’s claiming he’s into men online. Let me be clear and say I’m not saying I am against Pride month but I don’t think it was respectful of him to say he’s into men when he is with me who has never given him a reason to claim I have cheated or been interested in another person or persons.

I thought to myself, Am I going not satisfy him later on if we continue together?? Does he want to experiment more with men??? By doing this, does he want to make himself available to get guys’ attention. I did accept him and I love him but I didn’t expect emotional pain from this. His girlfriend accepted him and I’m not saying okay he’s dating me he’s going to forget about guys but I just think that I am not capable of being the right person for him and dealing with emotional pain like right now for the long run.

Of course who would anyone not say they want their first partner to be their lifetime partner, of course I dream of getting married and hope we last but I am in tears writing you this hoping you can put some calm in my heart. I feel like I haven’t been able to share this with him because I don’t want to offend him or make him think I want him to hide who he really is. I have been keeping my mouth shut pretending everything is fine when it’s not. I have been emotionally hurting because I know I can’t satisfy my boyfriend in ways a man can.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what to do. I’m not looking for one answer, I’m just hoping you could read my message. He has no idea I’ve been crying about this he has no idea the meltdown I had when I saw his post he has no idea of the fear I have of losing him.

-P

relationships, The Lifestyle

Dear America, Enough with Your Fake Moral Outrage

Dear America,

I’m tired of the fake moral outrage when it comes to the LGBT community. Folks hide behind their roles as parents and their “perception of God” to condemn same-sex PDA, berate the transgendered community, and label all those that stand proudly behind the rainbow flag as “what’s wrong with this country.” And yet, these same individuals will let violent video games raise their kids, will endorse the most sexually degrading song lyrics from men about women, and won’t lift a finger to help children across color lines get access to a great education. But somehow, a simple kiss between two men is the end of America.

Dating

I’m Technically Single but He’s Mad I’m Dating Other People

Tavion,

I have a question for you because I’m trying to see if I’m in the wrong or if this guy I’m talking to is just doing the most. Long story short, we’ve been dating for literally one month and he got pissed at me because he found out I was talking to someone else. He randomly asked me two nights ago, and I just told him. I like him the most so far and could see myself being in a relationship with him someday in the future, but the other man is someone I enjoy talking to. Since I’m not in a committed relationship with either one at the moment, I don’t see the problem with dating them both, or more. I’m single.

I apologized to him for hurting his feelings, but he was still upset. Before you ask me, I wouldn’t be mad if I found out he was talking to other people, because we aren’t official.

So am I right to feel the way I do?

-We Grown

Dating

He Won’t Introduce Me to His Children. Should I Be Upset?

Hi T

I have been dating my guy for 7 months now. He has been divorced for about 2 years (same for me). He hasn’t introduced me to his 3 adult kids – all over 18. I brought it up and he said he was very nervous and wasn’t sure of his kids reacting. He’s a good man yet sensitive and with no backbone. This really bothers me as he has met everyone on my side (I have no kids) but he has met my entire family. How long should I wait and should I walk away should he wouldn’t introduce me? Thanks so much.

-Lizzie

relationships

I Just Found out He Slept with His Best Friend and I’m Crushed

Me and my ex are rekindling things again and it felt great and things were going really well, but one of our mutual friends let slip that my ex (paddy) has slept with his best friend who is a girl, and they’re still best friends now. This supposedly happened pre me and he says they were very drunk and that he actually regrets most of what happened that night, however, I can’t help but feel physically sick every time I think about it and the fact that he’s always said his body count is lower than I now believe it to be. This has set me back a lot in how well things were going and he even admitted that him and her spoke about it the other day so he’s been thinking about it, I can’t help but panic that he’s been thinking about it all through our relationship and would rather it was her there than being with me, I’m talking about him tonight but I feel very hurt and don’t see a way through this right now, any advice would be appreciated greatly thank you!

-Lily