Hi there folks,
I wanted to take some time out today to share with you all some inspiration. Over the last few years, I’ve grown to learn more and more about the difference between living and surviving. I know some of you may be reading this and preparing to write this article off as cliché or an already labored point, but hear me out. I’m certain this won’t be a waste of your time.
Dear T,
The whole Orlando incident has been weighing heavy on me and my relationship. While we both thankfully didn’t lose someone close to us, we can’t help but to think that could have been us. I mean we don’t live in the gay club, but we go on occasion. As a matter of fact, we were in a club around the same time all of this was going on. Knowing we could have very well been the ones shot at, has got my boyfriend spooked. Badly. We’re supposed to go out to a mutual friend’s birthday party in two weeks, and he refuses to go. He doesn’t want to take the “risk.” I told him we can’t live like hermit crabs because of this, but he won’t listen. What are your thoughts?
Thanks,
Won’t Live in Fear
Happy Thursday Folks! Today marks an amazing day for me, because it is officially According to T’s anniversary. A year ago today, I answered my first question and posted my first response. It’s crazy to think that I’ve been blogging for 12 months. You all have to understand, I wasn’t sure I’d be doing this for a few months let alone for a year. I kind of thought I was running with this crazy idea that people wouldn’t buy into or understand. So I’m thankful for all the support and positive vibes I received from site visitors and those seeking advice. It’s honestly quite humbling.
Dear T,
How many arguments do you have to have with a friend before you call off the friendship? It seems like me and my so called bff, argue at least once a month. And I honestly am sick of wasting the energy and time. I mean we argue over the dumbest things. I think the last time we had a disagreement it was because he didn’t like that I was 30 minutes late in meeting him for drinks. Keep in mind that I was late because there was an accident. He acted as if I had control over how people drive. I just can’t keep doing this petty back and forth anymore, especially with someone I’m not even sleeping with. What should I do here, especially with someone I’ve known for over 12 years?
– Just Enough
Dear T,
I’ve been out of the closest so to speak for about 2 years now, but I still feel like I’m hiding the real me. I mean people know I’m gay, but I feel like I have to pretend sometimes. I like to listen to Nicki and Beyoncé, love to twerk, and Bravo is a mainstay on my television. However, if I share that with people, especially in the gay community, people throw labels at me like feminine and bottom. And the truth of the matter is, I consider myself masculine and am a strict top. I guess what I’m asking here is how to deal with people misjudging me and making assumptions?
From,
Book Judged by Cover
Dear T,
I’m not really seeking advice about dating or relationships, but you did say people can ask you anything, so I’m asking. I kind of feel like I’m failing in life. I had always envisioned that by the time I was 30, I would be in a career I loved, with a man that adored me, and in a nice house with a dog. Unfortunately, I’m 28 going on 29, and I’m not even close to achieving any of this. I’m up to my neck in student loans, can’t find a GOOD man anywhere, and I’m stuck in a job I hate that’s going nowhere. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for what I do have; but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed. I guess my question is, do you think I should feel like a failure? I hoping you can help.
Thankfully,
Almost 30
Dear T,
They say it’s easier to talk to a stranger, so here I am. I’ve been trying to accept myself as gay, but simply can’t. When I think about the family and friends I’ll lose by being gay I just get depressed. I don’t think I can handle being judged and being an outcast. But at the same time, I’m so tired of being in the closet. Seems like everyone is so happy living their straight lives, and I’m just pretending one day at a time. And with each day it gets harder. Lately I’ve been so confused and just mentally drained, that for the first time I understand suicide. Please don’t think I’m crazy, but it’s like suicide is the emergency escape button in life when there seems to be no good options left. I’m not sure what I’m asking advice on, but hoping you can help me.
Sincerely,
Unknown22
