relationships

My Boyfriend No Longer Wants Me to Go On His Friends’ Vacation

Hi

My boyfriend and I have been going out for about six months. We met on holiday and jumped straight into a serious relationship. A week before my birthday he invited me to go interrailing with him and a couple of his friends. I was delighted, but unsure of the logistics as I am only 17 and he and his friends are 18.

He has now uninvited me which really hurt my feelings. I don’t think he should have asked me if he wasn’t sure and I tried to tell him how it really upset me but he didn’t seem to be that understanding. What should I do?

-Uninvited

relationships

My Boyfriend’s Friend Uninvited Me and I’m Uptight About It

Hey T,

It’s definitely been a while since I’ve visited your site.   I have always enjoyed the advice you’ve given others, along with your viewpoint.  So here’s the situation….  My boyfriend and I had planned to take a trip together (for an organization he is affiliated with).  The purpose of me going was just so that he’d have someone to ride with him and also to be supportive.  Initially we were supposed to stay with his friend (who’s married), but he learned that his friend’s spouse has apprehension of house guests that he doesn’t know (Understandable, right?).  Being that my boyfriend is currently in between jobs right now, it was more economical to crash at his friends place.  After telling the friend that he would like to come but really wants me to come along with him, the friend suggests that he just comes alone.   My boyfriend gave it some thought and said, sure I’ll still come.  I am feeling a certain type of way about it, because I feel that my plans have now been altered and it doesn’t show us “strong” or unified.  I want to bring it up to him but I don’t know how to approach it without being argumentative and want to avoid any conflict of him having to choose.  Any suggestions? What’s your take on this with provided info?

-Uninvited

friendship

You Can’t Travel with Everybody! Some Friends Have to Stay at Home.

Dear T,

How do you tell a friend he’s not invited on a trip?  So I have this close friend who I’ve known for over 2 years.  He moved to the area, I met him at my old job, and we just clicked.  Since he started hanging out with me, I naturally started bringing him around my group of friends.  Which was cool at first. My friends seemed to like him and they would even hang with him when I wasn’t available.  Well last summer we all took a trip to Vegas for my other friend’s birthday.  That’s when the “new” friend showed his ass a bit.  He got drunk nearly every night and was super belligerent and very sloppy.  I mean he literally got so bad one night he got us into a fight on the Vegas strip with some other guys over nothing. We almost got arrested.  He also kept trying to kiss my one friend in the mouth, and needless to say my friend was not interested. Eventually the new friend apologized to all of us and we forgave him, but my old friends stopped hanging around him as much.

Long story short, my group of friends and I have been planning a trip to Punta Cana for my 25th birthday, and all my friend are on board to go.  However, through texts I found out that my original group of friends don’t want my newer friend to go on the trip.  They’ve even said they’ll consider not going on trip if this guy is going. I understand their concern, but now I don’t know what to do.  He already knows about the trip. Hoping you can help.  Sorry if this is a little long winded.

From,

Frankie no Neffe,

friendship

Why Is Your Man Beefing with Me?

Dear T,

I had an issue that came up last month, and just want to get your advice. I have this friend who I’ve known for a couple years invite me out to visit him in Cali. Well when I went out there for a few days to visit, I stayed with him at his apartment. His boyfriend who is not his roommate, decided to stay at the apartment the whole time I was there. And the boyfriend was so nasty and so rude. He kept side-eying me and throwing slight shade. To top it off, he was real extra with the PDA with my friend, and was my friend’s shadow. Obviously the dude was jealous or threatened by me, but I didn’t say anything while in Cali because I didn’t want to ruin my whole weekend. But should I have cussed the guy out like I wanted to?

-Just Askin