relationships

My Boyfriend’s Friend Uninvited Me and I’m Uptight About It

Hey T,

It’s definitely been a while since I’ve visited your site.   I have always enjoyed the advice you’ve given others, along with your viewpoint.  So here’s the situation….  My boyfriend and I had planned to take a trip together (for an organization he is affiliated with).  The purpose of me going was just so that he’d have someone to ride with him and also to be supportive.  Initially we were supposed to stay with his friend (who’s married), but he learned that his friend’s spouse has apprehension of house guests that he doesn’t know (Understandable, right?).  Being that my boyfriend is currently in between jobs right now, it was more economical to crash at his friends place.  After telling the friend that he would like to come but really wants me to come along with him, the friend suggests that he just comes alone.   My boyfriend gave it some thought and said, sure I’ll still come.  I am feeling a certain type of way about it, because I feel that my plans have now been altered and it doesn’t show us “strong” or unified.  I want to bring it up to him but I don’t know how to approach it without being argumentative and want to avoid any conflict of him having to choose.  Any suggestions? What’s your take on this with provided info?

-Uninvited

friendship

Why Is Your Man Beefing with Me?

Dear T,

I had an issue that came up last month, and just want to get your advice. I have this friend who I’ve known for a couple years invite me out to visit him in Cali. Well when I went out there for a few days to visit, I stayed with him at his apartment. His boyfriend who is not his roommate, decided to stay at the apartment the whole time I was there. And the boyfriend was so nasty and so rude. He kept side-eying me and throwing slight shade. To top it off, he was real extra with the PDA with my friend, and was my friend’s shadow. Obviously the dude was jealous or threatened by me, but I didn’t say anything while in Cali because I didn’t want to ruin my whole weekend. But should I have cussed the guy out like I wanted to?

-Just Askin