Dating

Would It Be Okay to Have Casual Sex with My Personal Trainer?

Hey Tavion,

Quick question.

When I was a Freshman in College I ended up casually dating one guy I met through my sister back when we were maybe in 6 or 7th grade. Any who we have some history. Flash forward a couple of years I ended up meeting up with him in 2012-13.

We talked some, took me to the movies before he had a car or anything. Then we ended up sleeping together, I didn’t know that I was his first (until years later did I find out) .Well he was going to go off into the Marines and start a career there. I had just began my BA. A serious relationship during that time, wasn’t great. The timing was off.

So years later he comes back a Vet and I a Masters Student furthering my Edu. We have always kept contact and now he is my Personal Trainer.  I have heard his stories of him sleeping with other women and I don’t mind a single man will be a single man, same as a woman (enjoy que no?!).

I feel that he is trying to seduce me. We text late at night and is always wants to know how I am doing. We even talked about sex between us and it usually never get serious other than just messaging another about the occasional “is we had sex how what are my rules and such”.  We both know we can’t have any serious relationship since we are both focused on our own path, would it be awkward if I have sex with him and keep him as my trainer?

I am stumped and can’t seem to decide what I am doing here. I tend to just go with the texts since its nice to get a break from working and things could be spicer in the sheets. But again, I haven’t slept with another man in 5 years so there’s that (came out of a long relationship 6 months ago ).

Just started training with him 2 months ago and I feel that sex is over the horizon!

To sleep with him or to not sleep with him and keep the PT relationship, that is the questions ?

Thanks for listening!

XOXO

Brielle

Dating

Reclaiming from Him Your Most Valuable Possession

The most valuable thing you own has nothing to do with Gucci, Tesla, or Coldwell Banker. It’s not something you can necessarily buy, and it certainly can’t be shipped to you via Amazon Prime. Despite what ads may tell you, the most valuable thing a person can ever own is time.

And if you can agree that time is the most valuable thing you have, then take a moment and think about how you use it and protect it. Are you taking moments of the day to pursue your heart’s passions or dreams? Are you spending time with the loved ones that feed your soul? In terms of protection, are you allowing someone to steal the most valuable thing you possess?

Dating

He Told Me He Loves Me But I Wasn’t Ready to Say it Back

T,

My best friend told me about your blog, and I love it. That post about relationships vs companionship was good. I’m thinking you may be able to help me.  I’ve been seeing  this guy for about a month.  We never had the relationship talk, and we both have been rocking with each other hard.  However,  I know I still flirt and talk with other guys.  I thought he was doing the same, until he told me two nights ago that he loves me. I was blown, because I didn’t think we had gotten there yet.   I didn’t want him to feel bad so I told him verbatim “awe, love ya.”  But I don’t think I love him.  I mean I could love him eventually, but I’m not there yet. I feel things between has gotten a lot more serious than I wanted it to right now. What do I do here to slow things down with this man without pissing him off and making him want to stop talking to me?

-I’m Not Ready for Love

Dating

I Found Out He Dated My Aunt

T,

I could use some of your help when you got a minute.  I like dating older men.  When I say older, I mean like dudes 15 or 20 years older than me in their 40s usually.  Something about that salt and pepper in the beard, maturity, and dad muscles really just do it for me. So I’ve been dating this one man for about three weeks now. He’s mad cool, and I could actually see this going somewhere.  Then I find out that he actually dated my one aunt back when they were in high school.  Like they legit went out together.  I may be bugging, but once I found that out I put him on pause. I haven’t answered his calls or messages.  I just can’t date someone that’s gone out with a relative. Especially my aunt.  I love that lady like a second mother.  But I really did like they guy. What would you do if you were me?

-Mr. Unwanted Triangle

Dating

Should I Be Buying Him a Christmas Gift?

Dear T,

I don’t have a major problem to ask you about, but more like a minor situation.  I’ve been dating this guy about a month, and Christmas is approaching.  I’m not sure if I should be trying to buy him a gift or not. While we aren’t official yet, we’ve been on several dates, and I haven’t been talking to other guys.   He says I’m the only guy he’s talking to as well.  But again, we haven’t had that conversation about us being in a relationship.  Which I’m find with.  But, what do you think I should do?   BTW, I’m a fan of the site.

Thanks in advance for the advice,

Charlie S.