Hello, Mr. Scott,
“Excuse for all of my last minute gush and lengthy expression”
I have been in a life long battle since I was 9 years old, which I’m 22 years old now where I live in small loop of life is home, school, and church. It’s killing me. It’s about my identity as Demisexual and mundane problems.
To me, demisexual is very unique, not as popular as LGBTA (saying that in humble way), and it fit my whole personality ever since. I am the type of person who love reading books, exploring things with high curiosity, funny, introvert, open minded, bubbly, go getter, be a “fresh air and be an organic food” for people (myself too since we all been through hard life out there), look inside of people’s soul and personality instead of their appearance, which makes extremely hard for me to attract toward woman or man, and get bored easily with things.
I was born and raised in black family who is very strong and strict in Christian who make everything black and white…no gray in between, which I find it funny that I tend to find colors in “between” is almost an answer for everything without conflicts, an answer for people haven’t thought of, and use it to help people to be free. When I first came out to them after graduating college, it took me many years to open myself up and ended up being bashed by them.
At first, they stare at me like I’m an alien or pure confusion and say confusion is from the devil. I ended up destroying myself to see them be happy for me but noticed my health is crashing, my daily drawing for my outlet becoming depressing, very few, or on hold for long time, overthinking is eating me up so much of what to be as “worldly” or “not worldly” in every little things I do and say, which my silence is getting bigger, while my action is getting smaller every day.
I personally hate to be limited or being twisted, yet I’m living under parent’s roof where parent are recently separated. Parents are so into my business and nearly ruin everything I build for my future, even I want my life to be private and be truly me. Still looking for job. So, I never had relationship (I have one but got cheated on, so I’ll say I never had relationship 😂) and it very difficult for me to open up to anyone and about to put my mindset on “business” mode without emotions to get through everything. My goal is to be artist as animator, illustrator, making tv show, entrepreneur, and massage therapist. I feel like I have more than that….I know it is a lot since I love multitasking to keep my mind going and make money overflowing. Again, I apologize for lengthy expression!!