We Moved in Together and Now He Tells Me He’s Celibate

Hey T,

I have an interesting situation and I’d love to get your opinion.  My boyfriend and I made a decision early on to move in together.  We were spending all of our time together and both needed to move and it didn’t make sense to pay two separate rents.  This actually isn’t the issue, things are going amazingly and it’s probably one of the best risks I’ve ever taken.  The issue came in because he refuses to be intimate with me.

I noticed right away, and started to worry. After the first week, it happened when he came home from being out late and hasn’t happened since. I was starting to feel insecure like the problem is me, like maybe he wasn’t attracted to me but that’s not the problem. He’s very sweet very affectionate VERY Hands-on and I can clearly see him reacting and that he wants to go further but he always stops.

When I finally asked him about it he said he wants to wait until we have a deeper connection or possibly marriage. Obviously this is something you discuss with someone before getting in a relationship, let alone moving in with them which he didn’t and I’m starting to wonder if it is the fact that he is just more traditional, or am I his beard, or am I overreacting?

He hasn’t given me any reason to doubt him he’s always home after work, surprises me and cooks me dinner everything in our relationship is great communication wise, we actively are engaged in our decision to move in and I am SO very happy except for the lack of sex. He’s aware that I’m bothered that he didn’t discuss the “waiting” and I told him that he took that choice away from me, even if I decided to continue getting to know him I would’ve liked to make that choice on my own. I just pictured this differently and I’m really trying to respect his wishes and give the waiting a chance, but I want to make sure I’m not being blind and stupid. Please help, and please be easy on me lol, thanks.



How to Tell A Friend Crashing On Your Couch It’s Time to Go!


I noticed you give legit advice, so I guess I’m trying this thing out.  I’m having a roommate situation.  I guess it’s really more of a friend situation.  So for the past two months I’ve been letting a close friend stay with me, and I’m kind of tire of having him around. He relocated to my city because he needed a fresh start, but he hasn’t found a job yet.  Which means he’s been here rent free.  I don’t think I would care so much if he weren’t eating all my food and inviting himself to come with me every time I leave the house.  I have to be comfortable when I come home.  Basically, how do I put my friend out of my house without losing him in my life?

Thanks for whatever advice you give,

Martin Payne92

The Lifestyle

Should I Tell Her the Man She’s with Is Gay?

Hey T,

I’ve got a question for you.  Would you allow your cousin to marry a guy you know for a fact is gay?  My cousin, who is a female and I’m very close with, just got engaged to this man I know used to mess with one of my of old college roommates, who is a guy.  Although these two men were never in a relationship, and this was almost ten years ago, I feel like I should mention to my cousin that her future husband has slept with at least one man.  Thoughts?


Stuck with No Answer


Moving in with My College Bae

Dear T,

First off, let me say how much I enjoy reading your posts.  I haven’t read all of them, but the ones that I did read, I loved.  With that said, I hoping you will be able to help me like you’ve helped other people.  See I’m a junior in college right now, and I have a boyfriend here that is a sophomore.  We both live on campus.  Well in a few months, our school will open up housing selections for next year, and I’m thinking of asking him if he wants to live together.  I would like to be able to go to his dorm room or him to come to my apartment, and not have to worry about whose roommate is home.  Plus, it would be nice to get some regularly available loving if you know what I mean.  I’m just hesitant my boyfriend won’t say yes if I ask him, or that moving in together will cause some friction in our relationship.  But what do you think.


J. Rock17

Dating, relationships

Straight Roommate Caught Me in the Act

Dear T,

I’m a sophomore in college and I’m going through an awkward phase with my roommate.  About a week ago, he caught me making out with my boyfriend on the couch in the living room of our apartment on campus.  Well the thing is, my roommate didn’t know I was gay.  I had always been careful not to get caught doing my thing, but the one time I don’t go to my room with a man, and this happens.  Since my roommate peeped me in the kiss, we haven’t really talked, and I barely saw him once in passing.  He couldn’t even look me in the eye then.  So what do you think I should do in this situation?  Do I talk to him to make things less weird?  Or do I ride it out and hope things get better with time? We’ve had a solid roommate relationship since freshman year, and I’d rather not have to find someone else to live with.


Busted 17