Dating

In Love with a Roommate Who Wants Someone Else

Hi T,

Here’s the situation. I was dealing with a guy that I had strong feelings for. He didn’t have as deep of a connection for me as I did him. We talked and we became friends, very good platonic friends. A few months later we become roommates. I moved into his home renting a room. Things are great, I’ve had my overnight company, a friend visiting from out of town.

Recently, he’s started having a local consistent friend stay overnight. For whatever reason, I’ve become bothered by this. I don’t know why. We were never together. In hindsight, I can acknowledge that. I openly accept that he and I aren’t supposed to be together. He has had people come over, they did whatever they did, and they’d leave. I don’t know why I’m feeling bothered by my friend finding someone he can spend time with consistently. Can you help me process this?

Confused AF

relationships

I Found Out My Aunt Has Been Dating My Ex for Two Years

Hi, I really need some advice. I just figured out my aunt has been dating my ex-boyfriend for about 2 years. I don’t think either of them knows that I’m her niece. This guy I was almost engaged to and I had helped him pick a house out that now my aunt is going to live in. It’s been 10 years and we only broke up because my uncle who I lived with at the time told my ex whopper lies. I’m so hurt and I just don’t know what to do? How do I tell my aunt without wanting to punch her and scream at her?

-Brandy

relationships

I’ve Lost Weight and My Boyfriend Gained Insecurity

Hi T,

I’ve been reading through your site and thought you had some good advice so I’m going to try this out. I’m having a problem with my boyfriend that’s really getting on my nerve lately. To give you a little background, over the past six months I’ve lost about 48 lbs and look the best I have in a minute. My boyfriend was initially very support of the weight loss, but over the last few weeks he’s gotten super clingy and possessive. I just don’t know where any of this is coming from. Appreciate the insight.

-New Me, But Not Who Dis

P.S., we’ve been together for over a year.

relationships

I Suggested the Open Relationship, and He Got a Woman Pregnant

T,

I need some advice about a weird and frustrating problem I’m dealing with. Basically me and my boyfriend are in an open relationship while my job has me on the other side of the country for nine months.  My boyfriend is legit bisexual, and I know sometimes he may crave something I don’t have. So while we’re in the open relationship, I told him it was okay if he hooked up with women. Also, even though we agreed I could top men only, I haven’t done it. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep with anyone. Well now this whole open relationship idea, which was kind of my suggestion, bit me in the ass.

Last week I found out from my boyfriend that a woman he slept with is pregnant. I’m still shook by the news. I’m mad he knocked a woman and I’m mad he was out here not being careful. My boyfriend apologized and told me he doesn’t want to be with anyone but me. He pretty much begged me not leave him. I’m just not sure I can do this situation. I love him and thought about us having kids one day, but not like this.

What would you do if you were me?

-Is This Endgame

relationships

I Want to Stay in the Country, But My Boyfriend’s not Ready for Marriage

It sucks when in a relationship everything is perfect but one wants just companionship and the other wants commitment. I’ve been dating my bf for a little over a year now. This is my happiest relationship so far. He treats me really well and I balance out his energy perfectly too. But, I’m foreign on a visa, and my visa is expiring in a year.

When I had the talk with him on whether or not he would consider marriage as a way to keep me here, he backed out. He has his reasons, but I think in reality just like what you said in your writing, he’s probably only looking for companionship and will never commit not matter how much he loves or cares about the person. Because for him, the fear of losing freedom outweighs all the benefits he get from a relationship.

It’s so funny how the universe works. This just happened yesterday, and today I saw your post. We are all on our own journeys, and sometimes even the almost perfect person might still not meant to be.

-Amy G.

Dating

Reclaiming from Him Your Most Valuable Possession

The most valuable thing you own has nothing to do with Gucci, Tesla, or Coldwell Banker. It’s not something you can necessarily buy, and it certainly can’t be shipped to you via Amazon Prime. Despite what ads may tell you, the most valuable thing a person can ever own is time.

And if you can agree that time is the most valuable thing you have, then take a moment and think about how you use it and protect it. Are you taking moments of the day to pursue your heart’s passions or dreams? Are you spending time with the loved ones that feed your soul? In terms of protection, are you allowing someone to steal the most valuable thing you possess?

relationships

He Cheated on Me, and the Woman Says She’s Pregnant

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend about 4yrs now.  I’m 20 and he’s 25. We started experiencing a long distance relationship within 2 yrs. I know he loves me but he has been cheating me there, and he’s now back and his girl has been calling saying that the baby she has is my boyfriend’s. He’s denying it and pleading for me to forgive him while they’ve been fucking up there. It’s really hard for me. What should I do? I’ve left the place we share together he’s saying he ain’t in love with her, and I should not cry since he fucked up with the girl who is far from us? Super Confused

-Emmy

friendship, The Lifestyle

My Best Friend’s Girlfriend Doesn’t Like Me Because I’m Gay

Tavion,

I’m having a problem I need your help with. Long story short, one of my best friends is a straight guy, and we’ve known each other since middle school. About four months ago he started dating this girl who I can’t stand.  When I first met her I could tell something was off about her, but I kept my feelings to myself. I really wish I hadn’t.

Since she’s been around I don’t see my friend as much, and any time I do see him she’s right there behind him like a shadow. Not only is she there, but she looks at me with this stank face like I pissed in her grits or something. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is jealous or something like I want to screw my best friend.

Keep in mind I’ve never slept with my best friend, nor have I ever wanted to sleep with him. He’s cute and is about his business, but I’ve never wanted to cross that line with him. He’s like my blood brother. He wouldn’t cross that line with me either because he is very much into women.

What do I do in this situation? The longer this woman is around, the more attached she and my friend become. I’m nervous about our friendship. I tried asking why his girl doesn’t seem to like me, but he said she doesn’t have a problem and she’s cool. I know that’s a lie.

Advice needed,

Life is Like a Box of Chocolate.

Dating

My Friends Say I’m Picky, But I Can’t Deal with this Guy’s Feet

Dear T,

Full disclosure, my friends have told me I’m picky when it comes to dating. If knowing what you do and don’t want is picky, then by all means call me picky. I just don’t think there is anything wrong with having standards. However, I told myself in 2019 I would keep my friends’ words in mind. Having said all of that let me get to the reason I’m writing you.

I’ve been seeing this guy I like for about a month now. I mean I really do like him. He checks off all the boxes on my checklist, and he’s got me completely pressed. Or he did before I recently saw his feet. The other night we were intimate and he finally took his socks off and I was horrified. I mean I’ve seen some bad feet, but his toes alone look like someone has been gnawing at them. Then when the bottom of his feet managed to touch my leg, I swore he cut me.

As much as I like this guy, I don’t think I can be with someone with bad feet. Not that I make a habit of putting toes in my mouth, but if I was in the right mood I wouldn’t even be able to remove his socks. I’m doing my best not to be picky in this situation, but damn. His feet are gross.

What are your thoughts?

-I Can’t Do His Feet