relationships

My Boyfriend Flirting on Social Media is Driving Me Nuts

T,

Before I vent, I need you to know I’m not an insecure person. I love myself and know I’m cute. But the problem I’m having is with my boyfriend of 8 months. After hopping off of social media for about 2 months, he recently got back on and it’s annoying me. I don’t care about him liking guys’ posts on Instagram, but all the commenting. It’s like heart eye emojis, or comments talking about looking good. And he doesn’t even know most of these people. He knows I follow some of these people so I’m not sure why he feels so comfortable commenting like this when I can see.  I feel like he’s almost cheating. When I talked about it, he said he was just complimenting guys and doing harmless flirting, but I’m the only one he wants and the flirting means nothing. That still didn’t make me feel that much better. What would you do here? Like am I bugging about nothing?

-Beyond Annoyed

Dating

After Two Years I Want Him to Be My Man

T,

I have been seeing this guy for 2 years. We met on a dating app and at the beginning we were both looking for casual dating. He is 40 yrs old has never been married, has no kids, and travels for work. He said he wasn’t looking for anything serious because he travels for work he can’t give me that commitment of a real relationship. I am 35 yrs old and I have an 8 yr old daughter. Casual dating was perfect at first because of my schedule, I had my daughter in almost daily activities and figured we can occasionally hang out. Fast forward to now, my feelings are really strong for him. Like this is the man I want to marry and I want more than just hanging out. Part of me wants to continue what we have because our times together are amazing and I am hopeful that with time he will want more. My past relationships I have always rushed things and this is why I am just going with the flow of things, let life take its course. But at the same time I can’t help to think that this may never be more than what it is. I do like what we have but now I want more. Should I continue what we have until I’m fed up or just call it quits?

-Cheri

relationships

My Boyfriend Said He’ll Resent Me If I Don’t Get an Abortion

T,

I need advice more than I can express. I have been in a relationship with this guy for about a year and a half. For most of that time he was going through separation from his baby mama,  I am a mom of two children a 9 year old and a 3 year old and he has a two year old. We have been through a lot together including an abortion of a child neither of us could have at the time because he was still living with his baby mama as she still had not found a place to move. After she moved we became official. It’s been great until I found out I was pregnant again. I went on birth control but I still ended up pregnant. He doesn’t want it but I can’t and won’t have another abortion. Its too much emotional turmoil. He says he will resent me if I have it but will be there for me because it is his responsibility. A part of me thinks he is scared of all the unknowns, all the changes and responsibility that come with a child but another part of me now wonders if he truly even saw a future with me? I don’t know what to do. Should I follow my heart keep the baby and move in with him?

-Mila

Dating

Because of the Coronavirus I Found Out My Boyfriend is Married

T,

Let me tell you what I’ve been going through lately. I’ve been dating this guy for 6 months. We met at the gym, and he actually approached me. I wasn’t really checking for a relationship or anything, so the fact that I let this guy sweep me up is surprising. So after some good dates and even better sex, we became official, but then the Corona hit. As soon as all the quarantine stuff started happening, I’ve seen him 2 times in a month. The phone calls weren’t as frequent either. Once he started pulling back, I thought maybe he was super cautious about catching corona, but then my gut was telling me something was up.

I did a little digging on Facebook, which I hadn’t done before, and found out my so-called boyfriend is married with a young kid. I was crushed. A week ago I sent him a text to call me, and when we spoke on the phone he went into this story that he is married, but him and his wife have an understanding that they can do whatever. They are only together for their son, and can do whatever with whoever outside the house. Because of everything that’s been going on, he has to spend more time at home. He said the only reason he didn’t tell me everything up front was because most people don’t understand his arrangement, and really likes me and didn’t want me to cancel him. However, what am I supposed to do with that? He’s not planning on divorcing his wife until his kid is grown, but wants to date me in the meantime. Can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

– Quarantined and Hate It

relationships

He Confessed to Cheating but Lied in His Confession… Should I Take Him Back?

T,

I am having quite a bit of trouble figuring out what to do. I have been dating my serious boyfriend for six years now. About a year ago, he left for an internship at Disney where he would be gone for nearly eight months working and living in Florida (we live in Illinois). I went to visit him during his program and when I left, he only had about a month and a half left of his internship.

Within that month he got close to a girl he met at the beginning of his program and cheated on me with her. They had sex, decided it was a mistake, then had sex again. After their second time, he finally said no more to having sex, however, the two continued to hang out, cuddle, kiss, and say I love you.

When he came home, they officially ended things between each other. I found out a few weeks after he came home, or so I thought. When he finally “came clean,” he actually told me that his cheating only involved one drunken make-out session. Even though I was hurt, I decided to believe him and stay with him. Five months later, I find out the whole truth because I remembered a small detail that I had brushed off before, not thinking my boyfriend, of five years at the time, would cheat on me. He finally came completely clean.

I truly do believe that he is telling me the entire truth now and that he truly regrets what he did while in Florida; however, I am still finding it really hard to trust him. No matter how much I want to still be with him and think that we can work through things, I am constantly picturing him with the girl and picturing him cheating on me. I just don’t know if our past, our love, and our good times can truly overcome the constant thought of what he did.

-Kris

Dating

I Thought Things Were Going Great and then He Ghosted Me

Hi T,

So I’ve been on Bumble for a while and nothing good has come from it. However, I recently met this guy and we really hit it off. We were texting every day and snap chatting every once in a while, even though he’s not a big phone guy which I believe to be true. We went on 3 dates in one week and it seemed like he was really interested in me. It seemed like we were looking for the same things and both enjoyed spending time together. I really liked him and it didn’t seem like there were any red flags or that he wasn’t into me. Recently, he stopped responding to me and I have no idea what went wrong. Most times when I go on dates with guys, I don’t feel we’re a good match. However, the few times I go on a date with someone that I’m very interested in, they’re not interested in me and proceed to ghost me.

I’m not sure if I should reach out to him and ask what happened so I can get closure or if I just keep throwing up my hands and accepting getting ghosted. I’m growing really tired of having a tough dating experience and just want some honest answers.

Thank you for your help!

-Mysteriously Ghosted

relationships

I Found Out My Boyfriend Slept with His Friend… I Hate It

Tavion,

A friend of mine suggested I come here after you helped her out with her problem. I recently found out that my boyfriend has been having me out here looking stupid. Apparently when he’s had me hanging around his group of friends, he’s been having me hang around someone he used to smash. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months, and I just found out he and one of his friends used to smash. What’s even sadder is I found out a week ago at a kickback when another one their friends mentioned something while playing Never Have I Ever.

I kept a straight face at the kickback, but when my boyfriend and I got in the car I ripped into him. I just felt stupid. He said he didn’t think it was a big deal because it was a long time ago, and is not interested in his friend. But I feel a way. He’s since apologized, but I’m still pissed. I don’t want to bring up again, but I really want to bring it up again. What do you think?

-Man on Fire

Dating, relationships

I Landed My Gym Crush, and Now I’m a Little Disappointed

T,

What do you do when you finally land your crush and it’s not what you thought it would be? Getting straight to the point, before this whole corona thing popped off, I had a crush on this guy who I’m now dating. For about three months, I would see him at the gym when I went and would find myself so damn thirsty. He has body. So towards the end of January, I finally listened to my friends and spoke with him. And from then on, I got to know more about him and found he was cool. We’ve been dating, have some amazing sex, but there’s an issue with our conversations. I feel like our conversations aren’t great.

We talk about working out, sports, and Marvel movies a lot. Initially that was cool, but when I want to talk politics, or Bravo shows, or cultural issues, or other types of movies, our conversations are a little blah. And maybe because all this quarantining has us spending more and more time together, but I’m a little bothered by our limited talks. Not sure if I’m making a big deal out of nothing or if I was a bit shallow in trying to date him. Not sure if there is a question in there, but I’m sure you can find it.

From,
Blinded by the Muscles

Dating

He’s a Great Guy, but There’s NO Physical Attraction

Hey T,

I started dating this guy about 2 and half months ago and he’s great. He’s always concerned about making me feel special, plans great dates, and treats me like a king. There’s just one thing that I’m concerned about that bothers me. I don’t think I’m as physically attracted to him as I should be. Two of my friends told me that I should ride it out with this guy, because physical attraction can develop, and it’s not every day you come across a good guy (btw, they think he’s good looking, he’s just not my usual type). I want to stick it out with him, but not sure I’m doing him or me any favors. What do you think?

– 312

Dating, friendship

My Boyfriend and His Ex Are Friends and I’m Bothered

Hi T,

I read some of your posts and thought you could help me like you helped those other people. My boyfriend is constantly hanging around his ex and it bothers me. They aren’t hanging out one on one or anything, but they share a mutual group of friends, and so when he tells me he’s going out with his friends, the ex is usually there. I think I’d be cool with all of this, but I’ve recently seen how my boyfriend and his ex interact, and it was weird. I was around their group of friends, but it was those two that made me feel like I was on the outside. I  think they’re vibe is starting to seem like it’s more than friends. How do I tell my boyfriend to stop hanging out with his ex without sounding jealous.

-Mr. Been Over It