Would It Be Okay to Have Casual Sex with My Personal Trainer?

Hey Tavion,

Quick question.

When I was a Freshman in College I ended up casually dating one guy I met through my sister back when we were maybe in 6 or 7th grade. Any who we have some history. Flash forward a couple of years I ended up meeting up with him in 2012-13.

We talked some, took me to the movies before he had a car or anything. Then we ended up sleeping together, I didn’t know that I was his first (until years later did I find out) .Well he was going to go off into the Marines and start a career there. I had just began my BA. A serious relationship during that time, wasn’t great. The timing was off.

So years later he comes back a Vet and I a Masters Student furthering my Edu. We have always kept contact and now he is my Personal Trainer.  I have heard his stories of him sleeping with other women and I don’t mind a single man will be a single man, same as a woman (enjoy que no?!).

I feel that he is trying to seduce me. We text late at night and is always wants to know how I am doing. We even talked about sex between us and it usually never get serious other than just messaging another about the occasional “is we had sex how what are my rules and such”.  We both know we can’t have any serious relationship since we are both focused on our own path, would it be awkward if I have sex with him and keep him as my trainer?

I am stumped and can’t seem to decide what I am doing here. I tend to just go with the texts since its nice to get a break from working and things could be spicer in the sheets. But again, I haven’t slept with another man in 5 years so there’s that (came out of a long relationship 6 months ago ).

Just started training with him 2 months ago and I feel that sex is over the horizon!

To sleep with him or to not sleep with him and keep the PT relationship, that is the questions ?

Thanks for listening!




I Like My Personal Trainer, What Should I Do?

Hi T,

I am a female who likes another female. The only issue is that: the girl I like is my trainer and instructor of majority of the classes I take (if it was normal circumstances I would just tell her). My trainer and I are really close in the gym (including calling each other our favorites) and tend to goof off a lot. We even used to talk on snapchat A LOT outside the gym and not gym related topics. As well as following each other on intstagram. The two of us even had plans to go grab some dinner after a session. But then out of the blue she unfollows me on both forms of social media claiming that she “can’t follow clients.” (our plans were effectively canceled). That was in early December. However she acts toward me as if nothing happened. We still goof off, we still call each other favorites, etc. If anything it seems as if her behavior has gotten even more flirty: 😉 emojis in texts, letting me go into Zumba class a half hour late (when the cutoff is 10 mins), putting weights on levels she KNOWS I can’t lift and then proceeds to do most of the work just telling me to make the motion (i.e. bicep curl on the machine), randomly touching me (that’s not within a training touch), always bringing up inside jokes or making me laugh (in sessions or in classes) hell she’s always smiling and laughing around me, plays the song Closer by the Chainsmokers in Zumba cause I ask her to (and she knows I love that song), and most recently asking me to get a little bit of dust off her shoulder for her (where she could easily reach it herself). She’s even currently binge watching a show because I recommended it to her. Now if you’re thinking my trainer is girly she definitely is not. To be honest I’m like 80% sure she is into women based on the fact that she wears men’s clothing (Jordans and Tims, and men’s watches/chain necklaces included), and that she LOVES tricking out her car, but then again those are stereotypes. Now as for me I’m very girly (I identify as sexually fluid). The two of us kind of bonded over a mutual love of dance, similar music tastes, horror movies, and that we have similar personalities.

Okay now I’m rambling, it’s just I wanted you to have an ample amount of information so you can answer me. So what I’m asking is: 1.) Why would she randomly unfollow me on instagram and snapchat (she says it was nothing I did)? 2.) Is she into me? 3.) How can I know for sure without actually asking her? and 4.) How do I tell her I like her without sessions and classes being awkward?

I hope you get to this soon and thank you in advance!

Confused Gym Addict