Would It Be Okay to Have Casual Sex with My Personal Trainer?

Hey Tavion,

Quick question.

When I was a Freshman in College I ended up casually dating one guy I met through my sister back when we were maybe in 6 or 7th grade. Any who we have some history. Flash forward a couple of years I ended up meeting up with him in 2012-13.

We talked some, took me to the movies before he had a car or anything. Then we ended up sleeping together, I didn’t know that I was his first (until years later did I find out) .Well he was going to go off into the Marines and start a career there. I had just began my BA. A serious relationship during that time, wasn’t great. The timing was off.

So years later he comes back a Vet and I a Masters Student furthering my Edu. We have always kept contact and now he is my Personal Trainer.  I have heard his stories of him sleeping with other women and I don’t mind a single man will be a single man, same as a woman (enjoy que no?!).

I feel that he is trying to seduce me. We text late at night and is always wants to know how I am doing. We even talked about sex between us and it usually never get serious other than just messaging another about the occasional “is we had sex how what are my rules and such”.  We both know we can’t have any serious relationship since we are both focused on our own path, would it be awkward if I have sex with him and keep him as my trainer?

I am stumped and can’t seem to decide what I am doing here. I tend to just go with the texts since its nice to get a break from working and things could be spicer in the sheets. But again, I haven’t slept with another man in 5 years so there’s that (came out of a long relationship 6 months ago ).

Just started training with him 2 months ago and I feel that sex is over the horizon!

To sleep with him or to not sleep with him and keep the PT relationship, that is the questions ?

Thanks for listening!




I Slept with My Personal Trainer and It Wasn’t Good… Now What?

Dear T,

I check out your blog from time to time and really like what you have to say.  I especially like what you had to say about messing around with your personal trainer. That was pretty good advice.  Unfortunately, I didn’t take it.  A little less than a week ago, I went out with my trainer to grab drinks at Fridays.  One thing led to another, and we wound back to my place.  I thought the sex would be amazing. Unfortunately, all the muscles and that sexy ass smile couldn’t make up for the fact that he wasn’t that good in bed.  His equipment was decent but he didn’t have any rhythm.  Needless to say, I was disappointed.  Since that night, I have actually cancelled my sessions with him because I don’t know what to say. I just want us to go back to our training relationship and pretend like nothing happened.  That’s hard to do when he’s seen me naked and keeps texting me flirty messages. Long story short, how do I go back to normal?  Any advice here is welcomed.


Mistakenly Foolish


I Know You’re My Trainer, But Are You Single?

Hey T,

I’m hitting you up because I could use some advice.  Everything is going well in my life right now, and I’d like to top things off with a good relationship.  Every man wants someone to share his life with.  You know?  It’s been a few years since I’ve been in one, and now I think I’m ready.  And even though I’m really picky about who I date, I think I may have found my future babe.  The only thing is, I’m not sure if they look at me like that. See the person is my trainer I’ve been working with for the past few weeks.  They’re mad cool, and have many of the traits I look for in a partner.  But again, I just don’t know how they feel or if they even look at me as more than a client.  Plus, since the person is my trainer, I don’t want to ruin what we have professionally.  What do you think I should do here?


Addicted to Nike