I Was in His City, but He Didn’t Make Time to Meet Me


I’ve peeped a few of your posts and I love your advice. Your words really do be hitting. Hopefully, your words will hit on something today. I find myself stuck in this situation with this guy who I met through IG six weeks ago. So initially, I came across his profile through another IG friend who liked his post. After I went to the guy’s page, I thought he was fine AF, and we seemed to have things in common. Naturally, I started to follow him, and then he followed me. He even did the thing where he went through my profile and liked a bunch of my posts. I took that as a sign to shoot my shot, and did. We started flirting back and forth through DMs, then moved our convos to phone.

Once we exchanged numbers, we would text throughout the day and even talk on the phone at night every now and then. I forgot to mention, he lives in Houston and I live in Atlanta. That’s important, because last weekend I was in Houston to meet up with friends and didn’t even see him. We had planned to meet up and he knew I was coming, but as soon as I got to Houston all of a sudden he was too busy to see me. He claimed he was swamped with a project at work. I think that is bs because I feel he could at least met up with me for an hour.

Long story short, since I’ve been back in ATL we don’t really communicate like we were. He tried to text me this week to apologize, but honestly I was still in my feelings and didn’t want to hear it so I’ve been distant. I’m frustrated because I still like the guy but don’t like feeling I’ve been played. What do you suggest here?


Confused Dater 92


You May Like Him, BUT Don’t Ignore Your Instincts

Hi T,

I don’t know if this is a shot in the dark but I was hoping you’d help me… I read a few of your advice and I honestly love your non bias and honest words and solutions.

So I met this guy on a professional website. We connected and he sent me a message, we chatted for a while and he asked me for my contact details. We started chatting and everything was going well and we decided to talk over the phone. After about a week of communication this guy tells me he’s in love with me and wants me as his woman for the rest of his life etc. T, these words are like music to my ears but I feel something is amiss.

He says he works as a businessman and he travels a whole lot. Please note : he’s a foreigner in this country and says he’s been here on and off for 10 years trying to build his business with the longest he’s stayed in the country being 2 years.

I think he’s married or he’s hiding something and I’ve stated some reasons below. On his initial trip after we met he told me they had meetings late into the night, I mean that’s possible but every night for a week? That’s when I started to get suspicious as I realized he would be unavailable after a certain time.

Same thing happened when he supposedly travelled to another state, late night meetings and then he goes offline around 9:30/10pm every night only to continue the conversation the next day. I brought this to his attention and he made himself available late into some nights but went back to the same schedule. It’s always one reason or the other.

2) When we video call he’s always outside somewhere either in a car or in the balcony. Always

3) I once asked him to send me his location and he flipped out and called me insecure and told me he’s tired of my suspicions and accusations. The next day he sent a screen shot of his location. A screen shot of an image. Not an actual location that could open in Google maps like I expected.

4) He has no place or a car or any asset in this country and he says this is because he travels a lot and he stays with his colleagues and he says when he comes into my town we would be in hotel or at my place

5) I hear a dog barking in the background most times when we talk

6) I once heard a child’s voice in the background but he hung up right after and told me I heard nothing

7) Most times I call he doesn’t answer immediately and calls me back.

I’ve yet to meet this guy but I need to know if I shouldn’t even bother. I mean I know married men can deny being married but I also know they typically run away from commitment but this guy has told me repeatedly that he wants to get married and have babies etc. He reassures me that he’s single and all but I don’t know why I feel something is off. I’ve Googled him, his name and his business check out but I didn’t find much else.

Please analyze this for me before I make a mistake.

Thank you in anticipation.


Dating, relationships

Infidelity in an Online Relationship

So I’ve been in this online relationship for about 7 months with this girl from California–mind you I’m from Illinois. And so she’s in college and I’m still in high school and we were planning on meeting in May which is kind of wild. And recently she got a little too drunk one night and cheated on me. We cleared everything up and now she’s doubting our future saying she doesn’t know if she can stay faithful again. And I’m just wondering if i should stay with because she doesn’t believe we’ll make it anymore