The Lifestyle

Your Dreams are Bigger than the Pettiness and Shade!

I putting out a challenge for personal elevation. Stop concerning yourself with every person that throws you shade. Let go of your pressing desire to return petty for petty.  And please do yourself a favor, and tap into your ability to turn the other cheek.  I’ve come to learn, that sometimes in your effort to seek revenge against someone you think that has wronged you, you are mostly likely accomplishing two things.  One, you’ll be wasting time.  The time you spend plotting and scheming on someone, is time you won’t ever get back.  It could be better spent on your dreams and hustles, but instead you will be giving it someone that won’t contribute to your bank account or happiness. Second, when you seek out revenge, you are allowing whoever wronged you to further consume your energy.  You give them expressed permission and consent to continue to antagonize you.  Not to mention, you prop them up to a position in your life they don’t need to have.

Dating

The Guy that I Like Has Been with Someone I Know

Dear T,

I was introduced to your site by a friend of mine, and really like the advice you’ve been giving. Hope you can give me some that good advice.  My older brother who I honestly thought liked only women, just told me he was bisexual.  As close as we are, I would have never guessed he likes men too. I’m gay btw. So after he came out or whatever, we started talking about his past with men. Long story short, I find out through our conversation that he once smashed the guy I’ve been dating for the past few weeks.  My brother didn’t know I’ve been dating this guy, and this guy doesn’t know who my brother is, so I can’t fault them for anything, but this is weird now.  How do I continue dating someone who my brother smashed?  I didn’t even mention, this guy I’m seeing told me he was a strict top, and my brother told me he smashed him. Could really use your help T in sorting all this out.

From,

Way Too Connected

friendship

I Just Don’t Feel Like Clubbing Anymore

Dear T,

Noticed you give advice on friendship stuff, and was hoping you could drop some nuggets of wisdom my way. Over the past few months I guess, I’ve really not been wanting to hang out in clubs and stuff.   So when my friends ask, I’m always finding an excuse as to why I can’t go.  Well a couple days back, one of my friends called me out on it.  He said I never go out anymore and wondering why I’ve changed up.  He kind of made me feel bad.  Am I supposed to go clubbing just to please my friends?  I mean what would you do?  This is not a big deal right now, but just don’t want it to become one.  Appreciate the help.

From,

Getting Too Old

Dating

My New Man Likes Cartoons, and I Hate It!

Dear T,

Before I ask you my question, I have to tell you how much I love your blog.  I visit it all the time.  Keep up Great work.  The question I have for you is about my dating situation.  I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now, and I’m starting to notice a bit of a turn off.  He’s a grown man in his twenties, and his favorite shows to watch are superhero cartoons on Netflix.  While people I usually date love watching Scandal and Orange is the New Black, he is obsessed with the Spider Man and the Avengers. Should I take his like of kiddie things as a sign he may not be mature enough for me to be my mate?  Appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks,

Very Grown

Dating

Dos and Don’ts for Blizzard Preparation

Do

Hit that Grocery Store

The last thing Pizza Hut or the local Chinese food spot is trying to do, is deliver food to you all weekend in the midst of twenty feet of snow.  If you don’t want to go out in the bad weather to get the food, believe they don’t want to go out in the bad weather to give it to you.  So load up on stuff you can cook, or just whip up if the power goes out.  If you don’t cook, I suggest you load up on bread, deli meat, and stuff you can just pop in microwave.