Dating, relationships

I’m Ready. Should I Have the Relationship Conversation?

Hello Tavion,

I’ve been a big fan of you for a while now and can’t help but appreciate all that you’re doing.

I need your help!! I’ve been dating very active lately and I’ve been lucky to meet some pretty cool people. Some, I have gone on multiple dates and hang out with a couple of times.

Through this process, I met a guy who seems to be the one that I can finally commit to and build a relationship with. He is exactly what I’ve been looking for in a significant other. Getting to know each other within the last one month has been amazing.

I actually think I am kinda falling for him. But the gag is, he is moving back home.

He has been here on a student visa and now that he has graduated it’s been hard for him to find a job forcing him to move back home. We’ve literally been in a relationship but without the title. He is friends have become my friends and vice versa. He is older by 6 years and has experienced everything you can imagine in his past relationships (The good, bad and the ugly, long distance, toxic and abusive…. etc).  His last relationship ended in January and since then, he has been on a journey of self-care finding himself and falling back in love with himself.  I guess my question is how do I go about having the conversation about this? I definitely want something more (EXCLUSIVITY and all) but I don’t want to be the rebound guy as well or rush him into something he might not be ready for.

Should I just let the chips fall where they may? Should I be completely up-front about my feelings?

Thanks,

Victor

Dating, friendship

Should I Tell My Friend to Break Up with Her Boyfriend

Hey, if you don’t mind keeping this anonymous.

So today my best friend was getting hit with a rubber band which ofc was leaving markings and everything. She was getting hit with the rubber band by a kid that she talks to but they aren’t really “friends.” Let’s call him “Jose.” Okay anyways she was telling Jose to stop hitting her and he wouldn’t, then this kid that has a crush on my friend said to stop and tried to make him stop but Jose still didn’t. (Note I wasn’t in her class) but so here’s the problem, my friend’s boyfriend was sitting in the table behind her while this was all happening and not doing a thing about it but he knew it was happening. Also that for the past two weeks they haven’t had an actual conversation. Besides all of this, my friend wants to know what I would say to him if I were going to. I just don’t know how to write it.

-R

Dating

Reclaiming from Him Your Most Valuable Possession

The most valuable thing you own has nothing to do with Gucci, Tesla, or Coldwell Banker. It’s not something you can necessarily buy, and it certainly can’t be shipped to you via Amazon Prime. Despite what ads may tell you, the most valuable thing a person can ever own is time.

And if you can agree that time is the most valuable thing you have, then take a moment and think about how you use it and protect it. Are you taking moments of the day to pursue your heart’s passions or dreams? Are you spending time with the loved ones that feed your soul? In terms of protection, are you allowing someone to steal the most valuable thing you possess?

Dating

I Really Like Him, But He Won’t Meet Me in Person

T,

I have a problem I don’t think you’ve written about but hoping you can help me with. I’ve been talking to this guy who I really like for about six weeks or so on IG. Not only does he have body and a great smile, but he also is sexy to me because he is smart. The conversations we have always leave me feeling a type of way if you know what I mean. As great as this guy seems though, we haven’t met in person. Every time I suggest it, he says cool, kind of flakes last minute.

Now usually, I’d tell a guy about himself and just block him. But every time I go to do that, I go through our messages and look at pics of him, and get a little hot to be honest. It doesn’t help that we’ve phone boned a couple of times, and it was sexy. And he’s seen private photos of mine and I’ve seen his, so I feel invested for some reason. My friends think I’m being dumb and being played, but part of me just feel like me and this guy could work, so I don’t want to cut him off completely. Besides, I still talk to other dudes. Could use your input.

-Shamefully Sprung