The Lifestyle

Your Dreams are Bigger than the Pettiness and Shade!

I putting out a challenge for personal elevation. Stop concerning yourself with every person that throws you shade. Let go of your pressing desire to return petty for petty.  And please do yourself a favor, and tap into your ability to turn the other cheek.  I’ve come to learn, that sometimes in your effort to seek revenge against someone you think that has wronged you, you are mostly likely accomplishing two things.  One, you’ll be wasting time.  The time you spend plotting and scheming on someone, is time you won’t ever get back.  It could be better spent on your dreams and hustles, but instead you will be giving it someone that won’t contribute to your bank account or happiness. Second, when you seek out revenge, you are allowing whoever wronged you to further consume your energy.  You give them expressed permission and consent to continue to antagonize you.  Not to mention, you prop them up to a position in your life they don’t need to have.

Dating

If People Can Change, Why Can’t I Try to Change My Man?

T,

Was at brunch with the crew about a week ago, and we had an interesting convo.  Now I don’t know if it was interesting because the mimosas were flowing or what, but it’s a question I present to you.  If we as humans believe that people can change, then why is it so far stretched for me to date a good looking guy with bad habits and expect to be able to change him into my dream man?  I mean my friends said there is nothing wrong with being with a seven because he will probably treat you right.  But I want a ten, and to be able to mold him into a ten on the inside to match.  You know what I’m trying to say?  Looking forward to reading what you have to say.

-I Want Tens

friendship

I Can’t Do Clubs Anymore, I’m a Homebody

T,

What the heck is wrong with being a homebody? I mean truly.  My friends complain from time to time that I never want to go out on the weekend.  Which is true.  However, I don’t really enjoy it anymore.  I’ll go out on the rare occasion, but I just don’t want to be a regular these days.  Why should I pay to have a mediocre time hanging out, when I can have a good time hanging at home for free?  Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and spending time with them, but I just rather hang out with them at my place, their place, or even a happy hour.  Anywho, what are your thoughts?

-Get Me Home

Dating

My New Man Likes Cartoons, and I Hate It!

Dear T,

Before I ask you my question, I have to tell you how much I love your blog.  I visit it all the time.  Keep up Great work.  The question I have for you is about my dating situation.  I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month now, and I’m starting to notice a bit of a turn off.  He’s a grown man in his twenties, and his favorite shows to watch are superhero cartoons on Netflix.  While people I usually date love watching Scandal and Orange is the New Black, he is obsessed with the Spider Man and the Avengers. Should I take his like of kiddie things as a sign he may not be mature enough for me to be my mate?  Appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks,

Very Grown

friendship

Why Is Your Man Beefing with Me?

Dear T,

I had an issue that came up last month, and just want to get your advice. I have this friend who I’ve known for a couple years invite me out to visit him in Cali. Well when I went out there for a few days to visit, I stayed with him at his apartment. His boyfriend who is not his roommate, decided to stay at the apartment the whole time I was there. And the boyfriend was so nasty and so rude. He kept side-eying me and throwing slight shade. To top it off, he was real extra with the PDA with my friend, and was my friend’s shadow. Obviously the dude was jealous or threatened by me, but I didn’t say anything while in Cali because I didn’t want to ruin my whole weekend. But should I have cussed the guy out like I wanted to?

-Just Askin

friendship

You’ve Outgrown Your Friend

Dear T,

How many arguments do you have to have with a friend before you call off the friendship?  It seems like me and my so called bff, argue at least once a month.  And I honestly am sick of wasting the energy and time.  I mean we argue over the dumbest things.  I think the last time we had a disagreement it was because he didn’t like that I was 30 minutes late in meeting him for drinks.  Keep in mind that I was late because there was an accident.  He acted as if I had control over how people drive.  I just can’t keep doing this petty back and forth anymore, especially with someone I’m not even sleeping with.  What should I do here, especially with someone I’ve known for over 12 years?

– Just Enough