Pop Culture, The Lifestyle

The Importance of Understanding Rejection: A 360 View of “No”

Hey there folks. Lately, I’ve felt the need to share some words of encouragement in an effort to help those feeling fatigued by the pursuit of their dreams. I’m a believer that a lot of times in life, we as humans go through situations that really test us and force to either grow or shrink. Looking back on my life, I can recall countless experiences that have helped push me to evolve. But as I’ve gotten older, and I like to think wiser, I’ve realized that the things that have happened to me on my journey in life happened not only for my own benefit of growth, but also to help someone else. That is if I’m willing to open up and transparent (which is definitely not an easy thing to do.)

Dating, relationships

My Standards, My Expectations, and My Inability to Keep a Man

Dear T,

A friend told me about your blog, and since I’ve started reading it, it’s become one of my favorite things. Great job. Anyway, the reason I’m writing is that I’m tired of starting over when it comes to dating. It seems like I meet a guy, we date for maybe a month or two, then we break up or whatever. My sister suggested that I give up too easy or something, but I’m not convinced that’s true. I just don’t think something that’s meant to be in terms of a relationship should be that hard in the beginning. I get I’m a complicated person and I may even demand too much, but I like what I like and I deserve to have a soulmate.  Guess my question to you is, do you think there is something wrong with me? Why can’t I get out of this pattern of dating and breaking up, and get into a lasting relationship?

– I Was Supposed to Be In Love By Now

relationships

My Boyfriend Won’t Stop Showing the Goods on Instagram

Hi Tavion,
Nice site. I’m a fan of the advice you give. It’s good advice but not too harsh. Anyway, hoping you can help me to figure out what to do with my boyfriend. He makes me feel like I’m competing with all of Instagram. I get that he’s really proud of his body transformation, but why does he have to post his body so much? At first I didn’t mind, but now I’m starting to feel some type of way. Like he can’t save some stuff for my eyes only. Everyone one doesn’t need to see what he looks like in underwear and what his print looks like. We are in a committed relationship and if he’s committed to me, why does he need to advertise for someone else? I don’t care what he says about it being for the sake of leg day pics or whatever, it’s inviting thots to blow up his inbox. By the way, I’ve asked him to chill with those kind of posts, and he kind of brushed me off. Told me I have nothing to worry about. Anyway, what do I here short of backhanding him and reporting all his photos on Instagram?
Thanks,
No Prude But

Dating

Is Dating Younger a Big Deal?

T,

Real quick.  What are your thoughts on dating younger?  I’m knocking on 29, and I’ve just not been able to make it work with guys my age.  I tried dating older, and that didn’t work out for me.  The older men I’ve dated always came into the situation like they were the authoritarian and I needed to be schooled in everything.  Anyway, I met this guy at a bar about two weeks ago, and we’ve been texting since then.  Only problem is that he just turned 21 a month ago. From what I know he seems cool, but that age difference makes me nervous.  What do you think I should do?
-Young but Not that Young

relationships

Should Couples Really Be Trying to Make Lemonade?

For the past week or so, unless you’ve been on the moon, you’ve at least heard snippets of Queen Bey’s Lemonade.  Personally, having listen to the album in its entirety maybe about 700 times, I can’t help but think about the notion of cheating. I don’t mean trying to figure out if Jay Z actually messed around on Beyoncé, and with who. I mean I’ve been thinking about how a true love between two people can survive infidelity. And like many of you, I took the thoughts in my head and shared them with friends, in an effort to have a mini forum on cheating.  While I’m not going to share everything my friends and I discussed, I will summarize in a few points about what stood out to me.

Pop Culture

Lemonade A Hit…May Be Beyoncé’s Best!

Hello good people,

As you can probably tell, I’m in a surprisingly fantastic mood as I write this.  I’m still breathing, it’s sunny outside, my book is nearing release (I’ll be talking about that more in detail soon), and Beyoncé has graciously dropped her highly anticipated 6th album.  Although I, like her millions of fans across the globe, knew she would be debuting the mysterious Lemonade on HBO, I was rocked by the tragic news of Prince’s passing.  I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe music lost such a heavy hitter.  I mean in all honesty, Prince had to be the most innovative and prolific musician the world has ever seen.  Since his death, I’ve been jamming to hits like “Diamonds and Purples”, “Musicology”, “Let’s Go Crazy”, “Adore”, and of course the classic “Purple Rain”.  So in a way, I’ve been mourning the death of a music titan.  While I knew a Beyoncé video project was premiering this past Saturday, I wasn’t expecting an album.   I kind of thought she would push back the release of an album, and it would be a Prince only weekend (minus the video premiere).  However, Bey graciously dropped what may wind up being my favorite album from the Queen ever.

relationships

5 Myths about Relationships

I decided to address some current misconceptions out there about the concept of relationships.  I’ve heard some people view relationships as a cure for their own personal shortcomings and issues.  I’ve also heard people give me a long list of reasons why they would never in their life enter coupledom again.  So I decided to talk about some of the myths about relationships.  While the list here is not exhaustive by any means, I’ve chosen some top ones that are worth talking about.  And I hope dispelling these myths, help people reevaluate whether or not they are ready to commit to one.

Dating

What Do You Say on PDA?

Dear T,

What are your thoughts on PDA?  I started seeing this guy a few weeks ago, and lately when we go out in public he wants to hold hands and kiss.  I’m not ashamed of being gay or anything, but doing all that in public is super uncomfortable for me.  I’ve been trying to drop hints for him to chill with all that stuff, but he hasn’t caught on.  I’m trying not to mess up our situation, because it’s new and I like him.  What would you do here?

From,

Not With It