relationships

It’s Been Five Months and I’m Still Upset My Boyfriend Cheated

T,

My boyfriend and I have been best friends since we were 17. We basically grew up together. We didn’t start dating till I was 23 and he was 24. We had the best summer being together right away. Our relationship just made sense. We were so comfortable right away. I’m guessing because we have been friends for so long. We were in love and I knew he was it, like he was the one and he felt the same.

Now the last few years he had problems with pills and decided he wanted to go away and be fully sober, no drinking or anything, which I was all for and wanted to support. We decided to stay together because again he’s my best friend and I wanted to be there for him. Fast forward to now, he’s a year sober and we have some difficulties doing long-distance and for a few months, he was very distant with me. I was heartbroken. I went ahead and visited him, and we spent 2 weeks together and everything went back to normal. We are on very good terms and suppose to be moving in together in a few months.

Last week I busted him and found out he cheated on me with someone for 3 months (the time we were having problems). He told me everything, he was very apologetic and is begging for another chance. I do wanna say he stopped seeing her on his own before I even found out. I asked why, he said he just felt alone, she was just filling up space and she was just there. I don’t know if I should give him another chance.

I love him and we gave a lot of work in this relationship and I know he loves me. Also, he always says I’m the girl he wants to marry we had such big dreams and plans but now I feel very betrayed. I know he went through a lot in a year especially being away from his family and me as well while getting sober so I can see why something like this could happen, but I don’t know how to feel or if should give it another chance. I know he is sorry and for the last 5 months he is always FaceTiming, texting, and watching movies with me on FaceTime so he has been very different before I even found out about it. I’m just scared and not sure what to do or feel.

-Angie

relationships

I Love My Boyfriend but He Keeps Telling “White Lies”

T,

I love my boyfriend so damn much, but he keeps telling me white lies. I’ll give you an example. One of our mutual friends recently posted a pic of his gym progress on Instagram and my boyfriend liked it. When I was talking to my boyfriend about how good our friend looks, he tells me he didn’t see the picture. I couldn’t figure out why he told that lie.

To give you another example, 2 months ago through random conversation he told me that the car he drives is all paid off. Then a week ago I saw a deal for like a cute vacation and he told me he didn’t have the money for one right now because he had to pay his car note. White lies like this are driving me nuts.

It’s weird because I feel like he’s truthful with the big things, but I have no idea why he tells these white lies. When I confront him on these lies, he always has an excuse, or tells me I misunderstood him. What would you do in my shoes? Keep in mind, everything else in our relationship is really good.

-Just Want the Truth

Dating, relationships

Five Years into a Relationship and He Cheated Year Two

 Hi,

I have been dating my long-distance boyfriend for almost 5 years now. We live in different countries, but every time we can, we travel to one another. This past summer, we even got married, and our whole families were happy about it. Everything seemed perfect! Today, he opened up to me that , 2 years into our relationship, he cheated.

He kept it from me due to the fear of losing me. I am so hurt by what he did, because I thought we were strong enough to surpass those physical temptations. He says that he couldn’t live with himself anymore knowing that he’s hiding this from me, as every day he’s realizing more that I’m his soulmate. Before this happened, we were planning on him moving to the states so we could spend our lives together. I see that he’s remorseful because he could’ve still kept it a secret, and I would’ve never found out. However, I hate to admit it, but my ego is bruised, and my heart is shattered. I would like to think that we can make this work, but I’m afraid that I’m not strong enough to. I’ve always said that I would immediately break up with someone that cheated on me , but it is so difficult because I’m in love with him. Am I weak to try this again? Or should I even? That betrayal has scarred us forever.

From,

J

relationships

He Cheated on Me, and the Woman Says She’s Pregnant

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend about 4yrs now.  I’m 20 and he’s 25. We started experiencing a long distance relationship within 2 yrs. I know he loves me but he has been cheating me there, and he’s now back and his girl has been calling saying that the baby she has is my boyfriend’s. He’s denying it and pleading for me to forgive him while they’ve been fucking up there. It’s really hard for me. What should I do? I’ve left the place we share together he’s saying he ain’t in love with her, and I should not cry since he fucked up with the girl who is far from us? Super Confused

-Emmy

Dating, relationships

Living Like You’re Single in a Long Distance Relationship

My partner and I first began our now 3 year relationship via long distance. I moved down to Atlanta from Houston to be with him full time after 1 year but we were sleeping with other people while still out of state. I’ve been here for the last 2 years and after the honeymoon phase has worn out I discovered my mood has sunken into depression and anxiety due to being away from my family and friends back in my hometown.

This is my first long term live-in relationship and first foray into living away from home altogether. I noticed that I had stepped out here and there with each trip out of town due to my feelings of unhappiness. We were now considering moving back to Houston but I recently slipped up with an ex a few months ago on a trip back to Houston that my hometown partner found out about via hacking my phone.

I’m confused if I am truly depressed about my current relationship being monogamous and feelings of being stifled domestically. Or unhappy with being away from my hometown. We recently started couple counseling and each started therapy for clarity in our emotions. Should I try to make this work or leave while the going is good?

-Needy Neurotic or Nympho

Dating, relationships

I’m In a Long Distance Relationship, and I Think He Cheated

Hello there,

My boyfriend just got back from another city. Now I’ve found out he cheated on me while we are in 5 months long distance relationship. Seen pictures of his and a woman’s clothes in a hotel. But I already had that feeling inside me that he is hiding something from me. What should I do? Haven’t talked to him yet. I am confused on what should I feel. Should I forgive him? Damn this feeling.

-Maecats

relationships

I’m NOT Cheating! My Boyfriend’s Insecurities Are Driving Me Crazy

Tavion,

I can’t deal with my new boyfriend’s insecurities. We officially got into a relationship about a month ago, and ever since then something flipped with him. At first it started with him jokingly talking about guys commenting on my posts or tweets, and me liking the comments. He would hit me with one of those “oh you getting all the hoes still” and laugh, so I would shrug my shoulders and laugh it off. Then he progressively would mention the commenting without laughing, and legit arguments would pop off. To help ease the tension I became a little more careful about the kind of things I would post or tweet, but still tried to be me.

It’s not just that social media thing anymore though. He gets jealous if we’re out and I stop to talk to any guy. Whether they are a friend, work colleague, or whatever, he wants to get all up under me all of a sudden and practically demands an introduction. Then there’s the fact that he hates when I go out with my friends without him. The part that really has me ready to throw the whole relationship away is we got into an argument a few days ago about why I won’t give him passwords to my IG and twitter accounts, and to unlock my phone. I stood my ground and told him no, and he kind of dropped it, but the whole convo just left me feeling salty.

To be clear, outside of the insecurity issues, I love my boyfriend. He really is a great guy, and I know he’s acting like this because his two boyfriends before me cheated on him apparently. But I can’t do much more of this. What should I do?

From,

BF Problems

friendship

It’s Only Been 7 Months, Should I Stop My Friend from Getting Married?

Dear T,

Let me start by saying how much I love your site. A cousin recommended I check it out about a week ago, and I’m hooked. You have some pretty good advice and some of the questions hit real close to home. So the reason I’m writing is because I have a question.

Okay, so about 3 weeks ago my best friend got engaged to a guy he’s only been with about 7 months. I think that’s hella of fast, but my best friend says he loves him and knows this is his husband. As much as I want to support him in his rushed relationship, yes that’s shade, I just can’t bring myself to be that happy for him. I honestly don’t like his fiancé.

His fiancé is a little shady in my opinion. The dude cheated on him like a 2 month ago with some random from the club. I thought that my friend would end things for good, but he only broke up with the guy for like a week then took him back. I rolled my eyes super hard on that one. Oh and did I mention that the fiancé is apparently not in contact with any of his family members. That is super suspicious to me.

Sorry, my question is this. Do I try and convince my friend not to get married? I don’t want him to hate me or take away my title as best man. On the other hand, I don’t want him to make such a huge mistake. He’s thinking of not signing a prenup with this fool, and my friend has a lot of coin.

Thanks,

Unsupportive But Supportive Bestie

relationships

I’ve Put Years into this Relationship, Do I just Walk Away?

Hi T.

I’ve been following your blog for a very long time and have debated for months about sharing my situation with you. Simply because I feel as though I already know what to do but haven’t built the courage as of yet.

Let me get straight to the point though. I’m with a guy that’s 19 years older than me. We’ve been together for 8 years. Our relationship came as a result of his infidelity in a previous 15 year relationship. I love this guy with everything in me. My life and everyday routine revolves around him and our relationship. However, I’m very insecure, as he has cheated on me before (which was most definitely karma) and since finding out, I feel as though his loyalty and honesty towards me and our relationship was just for a time. Though he says he’s not cheating, I’m afraid to trust him although I really want to.

Aside from that, I’m starting to believe that we’re on two different beats and although he claims that he isn’t cheating, I low key think he is. He has called me out for over analyzing but how could I not when the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with has me on edge about our future together?!

All in all, while there is so much more that I can share, I’m just simply afraid of wasting my time after so many years and also missing out on what is supposed to be the golden years of my life. I don’t want to leave him but I’m so insecure about us, that it adds to my already out of control anxiety!

Please share some insight if you can!

Truly yours,

FalseHope92