The Lifestyle

Dear Straight People: Enough with the “Gay Shaming”

Dear Straight People,

It’s 2016, so in the name of progress, please stop “gay shaming.”  I’m sure some of you may be confused as to what exactly that is, so let me shed some light on the term.  You know those instances when you are in an argument with a guy and the two of you trading jabs, then you hit him with the “shut up with your gay a$$” or “stop being a queen”?  Well that’s gay shaming folks.  Or perhaps you’ve been guilty of accusing a man you don’t particularly care for of being homosexual because his voice wasn’t the deepest.  Or he took too much pride in his appearance.  Or he just wasn’t the epitome of masculinity.  For the purpose of this conversation, that’s “gay shaming.”  And to be honest, playing the “you’re gay” card is getting too old and too tired.


When to Give Up the Cookie

Dear According to T,

I’ve been getting to know this guy for two weeks and it has been absolutely amazing. However we haven’t had sex yet. A close friend of mine keeps telling me that I’m making a mistake by not having sex with him as we are two weeks into getting to know each other. I feel completely opposite. While I enjoy sex and want it frequently, I would rather take my time this go round and build a foundation especially if I can see a possible long term relationship with this guy. Am I wrong for not being pressed to give up the kitty right away? Is there a rule of thumb when someone should have sex when entering into a new found situation?


Horny but not pressed

The Lifestyle

The Black Greek Shun!

Dear T,

So I’m not sure if you know about black Greek stuff or not, but I’m going to go ahead and ask you for some advice about it.  I became a member of a fraternity about two years ago. At first, it was real cool being a part of the brotherhood.  My line brothers and I were always about are business, and we had the best times when we went to parties and on road trips.  Well about a few months ago, my line brothers found out a secret I’ve been keeping, and my relationship with them hasn’t been the same since.  Due to some campus gossips I lived by at college, my brothers found out I’m gay and have a boyfriend.   Being the stereotypical black heterosexual men they are, they’ve pretty much shunned me.  They talk to me as little as possible, and no longer invite me out when they go places.  I have one line brother that is cool with me when it’s just us, but when he gets around my other frat, he says nothing while I’m getting treated poorly.  Since the summer started, I thankfully don’t have to be around all that tension.  However, the fall semester is going to start soon and I’m not looking forward to the bullshit.  Been thinking about just stepping away from the fraternity altogether in August.  And heck I’m chapter president, and do most of the fraternal paperwork.  But I’m tired of the piss pore treatment, and overall discrimination from my own brotherhood.  Any advice you can give me on how I should proceed going forward, is greatly appreciated.  I’m going to be a senior and just want to enjoy my last year in college.


Half Pint