Dating

I Like Him but I Hate the Old Underwear He Wears

Tavion,

Dude I was talking to has been pissed at me for about three days now. Here’s the thing, he’s a great guy that I’m falling for hard. He just has one flaw that I can see right now that drives me up the freakin wall. I hate the underwear he has because they are just so old. Let me be clear, they aren’t dirty underwear with skid marks and things. They are just old. They are fading and some of the elastic is damn near gone. I promise you I’ve seen a hole in a pair or two, which I guess is quick access for me. But the underwear being old is a bit of a turnoff. Then I see his body, and I’m like forget the draws.

Trying to rectify the problem and be honest, I asked him when is the last time he invested in underwear? I even suggested he let me buy him some, which is crazy because he has a good job and could buy his own. He got all offended and thought I was trying to embarrass him. I can’t believe something so stupid as fresh draws caused an issue.

I sent him text messages trying to explain where I was coming from and told him I wasn’t being shady, but I barely got a thumbs up emoji in reply. This is dumb because I don’t think we should be arguing over this, and I won’t apologize because I’m not sorry. What you think?

-Anti Old Draws

relationships

The Guy in His DM Is Causing Our Relationship Problems

I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We spoke about moving in together this upcoming August. We never had a real argument until last June. He went to a guy’s party (he told me he was going to a party but didn’t tell me who it was). I found out the guy who had the party was a guy who went into my boyfriend’s DM and was flirting with him. I found out who the guy was by snooping. I confronted him and told him I didn’t feel comfortable with him going. Long story short, he still went even though he knew I was uncomfortable. Today 5/19 I found out they are still talking. The guy posted on my bf birthday picture saying he wish he could celebrate with him. Now I feel some type of way that they still talking. I also feed disrespected due to the fact one of our only argument was about this guy and it seems like it doesn’t matter to him.

-Jay

Dating, friendship

My Boyfriend and His Ex Are Friends and I’m Bothered

Hi T,

I read some of your posts and thought you could help me like you helped those other people. My boyfriend is constantly hanging around his ex and it bothers me. They aren’t hanging out one on one or anything, but they share a mutual group of friends, and so when he tells me he’s going out with his friends, the ex is usually there. I think I’d be cool with all of this, but I’ve recently seen how my boyfriend and his ex interact, and it was weird. I was around their group of friends, but it was those two that made me feel like I was on the outside. I  think they’re vibe is starting to seem like it’s more than friends. How do I tell my boyfriend to stop hanging out with his ex without sounding jealous.

-Mr. Been Over It

The Lifestyle

You Want a Commitment from a Man Who Won’t Commit

Dear T,

I’m starting to feel stupid. I’ve been dealing with this guy for about 4 months now, but I’m just frustrated. We have good dates, good conversations, and good sex. He just won’t commit to me. He keeps saying he likes me, but doesn’t want to be in an official relationship. Despite being with me at least 3 days a week every week, he says being in an official relationship is not something he wants to do because relationships are complicated.

I hate being in this position. He’s free to do whatever he wants, and I’m left falling in love or whatever with a guy that’s not technically mine. I know I can just walk away, but I can’t find myself doing it. How would you get this guy to boo you up?

From,

Mr. Frustrated