relationships

I Don’t Want to Break Up but Our Sex Life Is in the Trash

Dear T,

How do you tell your boyfriend that he no longer satisfies you sexually without him getting mad and breaking up with you? That’s pretty much my problem. I’ve tried introducing toys, instructing him to try new positions, proposed a threesome which he turned down, and tried new places. He just doesn’t do it for me sexually like that anymore and that sucks because I love him. He’s an amazing boyfriend and treats me like a king, so I don’t want to break up with him. But I don’t want to be in a situation like this. I’m only 27, and sex is still important. Help.

-Life to Live

Dating, friendship

I Told My Friend I Don’t Like Him Like that and He Ghosted Me

Dear T,

I’m in a sticky situation with my friend of over 6 years. I thought we were real cool. We went out to happy hours, house kickbacks, and even church. He’s met some of my family, and I’ve been to his family’s home for cookouts. I broke up with my ex a month ago, and two weeks ago my friend tells me that he has feelings for me. He wants us to be in a relationship. I wasn’t expecting that at all. Especially because I don’t like him in that way.

When I told him that I just want us to stay friends, he didn’t take the news well and ghosted me. He won’t answer my calls or texts, and he’s blocked me on all social media. I want my friend back. It’s like I’m being punished for my feelings. What do I do?

-I Don’t Want Him

relationships

I Cheated with a Coworker, Now My Boyfriend Wants Me to Quit My Job

Tavion,

I screwed up bad. I cheated on my boyfriend of two years with my coworker. It wasn’t like an ongoing thing, but  one night after coworker and I went to happy hour. When I told my boyfriend about it, he was pissed. He even broke up with me for a minute. A few weeks ago though, he decided to give us another chance. We are trying to work on us, but now he’s demanding I quit my job. He doesn’t want me around coworker, which I get. However, I like my job. If I love my boyfriend but really like my job what do I do?

-I Blew It

relationships

My Boyfriend Has Slept with All His Guy Friends

T,

I recently started dating someone last year and we are thinking about taking our relationship to the next step and moving in together. My partner has had a very sexual past and he’s slept with just about every male friend he has had for the sake of just sexual pleasure. He assures me he is a changed person and no longer wants anything to do with any of that and I believe him. However, I have not met these friends and I know I eventually will because some of them are his best friends. Now, I am not a person who puts a huge amount of importance on sex, I know everyone has a past, however, a big part of me is upset that I can’t even have this intimacy of sex between us because I know all of his male friends have had a piece of him already and if put in a position where I’d have to meet these people, I’d feel like a clown. How do I approach this? It’s really having me second guess our relationship.

-Reluctant Rez

relationships

My Boyfriend is Bisexual and That’s Causing Me to Be Insecure

Hi

Well how do I start? I am 18 years and I am dating a bisexual guy. We have been together for a year now and he is the best boyfriend I ever had. He let me know about his sexuality before we started dating. The more I got to learn about him the more I liked him and I accepted him since the beginning. We rarely touch on the subject about his past with other guys. And we’ve had a beautiful relationship full of love and adoration.

Recently he posted a picture online captioning it about pride month and basically speaking out about him being bisexual. I’ve always supported him and like I said accepted because I always thought that if he’s with me that’s all that matters right. But when I saw his post my heart sank. I couldn’t swallow what he had done and my mind went swarming with insecurity.

I cried that night asking myself I am going to be enough for him if he’s claiming he’s into men online. Let me be clear and say I’m not saying I am against Pride month but I don’t think it was respectful of him to say he’s into men when he is with me who has never given him a reason to claim I have cheated or been interested in another person or persons.

I thought to myself, Am I going not satisfy him later on if we continue together?? Does he want to experiment more with men??? By doing this, does he want to make himself available to get guys’ attention. I did accept him and I love him but I didn’t expect emotional pain from this. His girlfriend accepted him and I’m not saying okay he’s dating me he’s going to forget about guys but I just think that I am not capable of being the right person for him and dealing with emotional pain like right now for the long run.

Of course who would anyone not say they want their first partner to be their lifetime partner, of course I dream of getting married and hope we last but I am in tears writing you this hoping you can put some calm in my heart. I feel like I haven’t been able to share this with him because I don’t want to offend him or make him think I want him to hide who he really is. I have been keeping my mouth shut pretending everything is fine when it’s not. I have been emotionally hurting because I know I can’t satisfy my boyfriend in ways a man can.

I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what to do. I’m not looking for one answer, I’m just hoping you could read my message. He has no idea I’ve been crying about this he has no idea the meltdown I had when I saw his post he has no idea of the fear I have of losing him.

-P

Dating

I’m Technically Single but He’s Mad I’m Dating Other People

Tavion,

I have a question for you because I’m trying to see if I’m in the wrong or if this guy I’m talking to is just doing the most. Long story short, we’ve been dating for literally one month and he got pissed at me because he found out I was talking to someone else. He randomly asked me two nights ago, and I just told him. I like him the most so far and could see myself being in a relationship with him someday in the future, but the other man is someone I enjoy talking to. Since I’m not in a committed relationship with either one at the moment, I don’t see the problem with dating them both, or more. I’m single.

I apologized to him for hurting his feelings, but he was still upset. Before you ask me, I wouldn’t be mad if I found out he was talking to other people, because we aren’t official.

So am I right to feel the way I do?

-We Grown

Dating

He Won’t Introduce Me to His Children. Should I Be Upset?

Hi T

I have been dating my guy for 7 months now. He has been divorced for about 2 years (same for me). He hasn’t introduced me to his 3 adult kids – all over 18. I brought it up and he said he was very nervous and wasn’t sure of his kids reacting. He’s a good man yet sensitive and with no backbone. This really bothers me as he has met everyone on my side (I have no kids) but he has met my entire family. How long should I wait and should I walk away should he wouldn’t introduce me? Thanks so much.

-Lizzie

relationships

I Just Found out He Slept with His Best Friend and I’m Crushed

Me and my ex are rekindling things again and it felt great and things were going really well, but one of our mutual friends let slip that my ex (paddy) has slept with his best friend who is a girl, and they’re still best friends now. This supposedly happened pre me and he says they were very drunk and that he actually regrets most of what happened that night, however, I can’t help but feel physically sick every time I think about it and the fact that he’s always said his body count is lower than I now believe it to be. This has set me back a lot in how well things were going and he even admitted that him and her spoke about it the other day so he’s been thinking about it, I can’t help but panic that he’s been thinking about it all through our relationship and would rather it was her there than being with me, I’m talking about him tonight but I feel very hurt and don’t see a way through this right now, any advice would be appreciated greatly thank you!

-Lily

Dating

I’m Dating My Ex’s Friend and He Accused Me of Being Foul

Dear Tavion,

I came across your site and saw you give advice, which is good because I could use some. I’ve been talking to this guy Jay for months now. I really like him. I mean really like him. I won’t lie, I could see myself marrying him one day. The problem I’m having has nothing to do with him, but more so my ex.

I broke up with my ex about a year and a half ago after I found out he was doing some creep shit. I haven’t seen or heard from him since, and unfollowed him on social media and everything. Again, we had no communication until a week ago, when I got a DM from him calling me foul for dating one of his friends. I didn’t know what he was talking about, so I asked him. He said he saw me in Jay’s IG story for a WCW shoutout.

When I asked how he even knew Jay, he said they were friends in college. I promise you, the whole time me and ex were together he didn’t mention Jay once. I asked when was the last time they spoke, he said it had been a minute, but they were still good. He kept going that if the roles were reversed and he was dating one of my friends, I’d be salty. That’s true, but again, I don’t think Jay and ex are even good friends, or even close. Pretty positive my ex is just starting sh*t. What do you think? Even if I’m wrong in this, I’m not giving up Jay.

Just an FYI, when Jay and I talked about it, he said he hadn’t heard from ex in like 2 years and didn’t know I used to be with my ex. Jay also told me he thinks the situation is weird, but he doesn’t want to just stop talking to me.

What are your thoughts?

I Call BS

relationships

He Said He Won’t Marry Me Until I Satisfy Him in Bed

Dear Tavion,

I’ve been dating a divorced man with erectile dysfunction for over 2 years. His ex lives down the street and is now dating a woman. He made her wait 6 years for marriage and said he only proposed when she started “putting out” on the regular. He used to be young, healthy, and virile with her. Now he is a middle-aged man with high cholesterol and ED. Despite his inability to perform sexually, he demands that I please him in bed. He needs a ton of stimulation to get aroused despite taking daily Cialis. Because I see his ex on the regular, I resent her for stealing his good boner years. I’m at a crossroads now where I think it’s best I leave him. He doesn’t want to propose unless I satisfy him sexually, but his boner doesn’t work anymore and he has a low sex drive in his 40s. I think using sex as the barometer for getting married is dumb, but I’m just a woman. What do you think?

-Annabelle