Hi, I really need some advice. I just figured out my aunt has been dating my ex-boyfriend for about 2 years. I don’t think either of them knows that I’m her niece. This guy I was almost engaged to and I had helped him pick a house out that now my aunt is going to live in. It’s been 10 years and we only broke up because my uncle who I lived with at the time told my ex whopper lies. I’m so hurt and I just don’t know what to do? How do I tell my aunt without wanting to punch her and scream at her?
I hope this letter gets to you quickly because I kind of need an answer ASAP. The thing is I’ve been dating this guy for a little over two months. Everything is cool between us, but I wouldn’t say we were in a relationship just yet. Not that I don’t want to be, we just haven’t had that talk yet. Okay so the point. He asked me what I was doing this Thanksgiving and I told him my family was coming to town for dinner. When I asked him about his plans, he said he didn’t really have any. His family is on the west coast, and the people he considers his friends are all going out of town. I feel bad for him because it basically sounds like he is going to be spending Thanksgiving alone.
Now he hasn’t outright asked to come to Thanksgiving with me and my family, but I feel like he has dropped a few hints like he wants me to ask. The problem is, I’m not comfortable with inviting him. My family knows I’m gay, but have never met one of my boyfriend’s, or anyone I’ve dated, and I don’t want to start that tradition now. I’d rather wait until I’m with someone I know for sure is going to be the one. The question I have, is how do I not invite this guy to dinner without feeling like a jerk? Again, I like this guy and want to see where things between us go and don’t want to offend him.
How should I feel that my boyfriend of a year and some change hasn’t introduced me to his kids? To give you some back story, when we first started dating he didn’t tell me right away that he had two kids. About a month into seeing him, he finally told me over dinner that he’s a father. He claimed not to tell me right away because he wanted to see if what we shared was real and headed somewhere. Ironically though, I feel like if we are in a real relationship that he should introduced me to his children. They’re a part of him. They don’t live with him full-time, but he does see them every other weekend and that’s when he keeps me at a distance. I guess I might understand me not meeting them if they were young, but his kids are 11 and 13, which I think is old enough to meet me. So I really do feel some type of way. Am I wrong here to feel a bit annoyed?
-Lite Brite 93
Before I dive deep into this post, let me first say that this is not a post meant to bash anyone or their parenting abilities necessarily. I’m proud to have created a platform that doesn’t make a habit of judging other people or hurling out insults. However with that said, there are some things I tend to have a very strong opinion about, and relationships between estranged parents and their children is one of them. I probably have such strong opinions because I don’t really have much a relationship with my own father, but that’s a story for a different post. Anyway, let’s go ahead and get started.
Preparing to go into the New Year, I decided to give those single and looking some dating tips to help them in their search in 2018. This is a DO NOT list, so if you find yourself doing any of these things in 2017, switch it up going forward. Heck, what do you have to lose? Especially, if doing it your way hasn’t produced the results you want.
Blog #3 let’s goooooo! I really wanna talk about my actual gratefulness day with you all because it ended up being AMAZING!! So usually I’m a bit sad on holidays whether it’s from not having a companion to spend the time with cuddling and just loving each other or whether it’s the constant reminder of watching my family drift apart over the years (heartbreaking). This year I actually wasn’t down though. I was pretty content and ready to spend the day to myself, sleeping, video gaming, listening to music, and just being creative.
I could use some of your help when you got a minute. I like dating older men. When I say older, I mean like dudes 15 or 20 years older than me in their 40s usually. Something about that salt and pepper in the beard, maturity, and dad muscles really just do it for me. So I’ve been dating this one man for about three weeks now. He’s mad cool, and I could actually see this going somewhere. Then I find out that he actually dated my one aunt back when they were in high school. Like they legit went out together. I may be bugging, but once I found that out I put him on pause. I haven’t answered his calls or messages. I just can’t date someone that’s gone out with a relative. Especially my aunt. I love that lady like a second mother. But I really did like they guy. What would you do if you were me?
-Mr. Unwanted Triangle
I have a dilemma I’m hoping you can help me with. My sister and my best friend hate my boyfriend, and obviously this is a big problem. It’s so bad that my sister and my friend don’t even want to come to things where they know I’ll be bringing my boyfriend, and if they do come to events where he is, they barely say anything more than hello. I get that they don’t like him because of the things my boyfriend has done to me in the past, but if I forgave him, why can’t my family? How do I get my family and friends to a place where they will respect my relationship and my man? I can’t wait to hear your thoughts?
-King Tut 93
I was introduced to your site by a friend of mine, and really like the advice you’ve been giving. Hope you can give me some that good advice. My older brother who I honestly thought liked only women, just told me he was bisexual. As close as we are, I would have never guessed he likes men too. I’m gay btw. So after he came out or whatever, we started talking about his past with men. Long story short, I find out through our conversation that he once smashed the guy I’ve been dating for the past few weeks. My brother didn’t know I’ve been dating this guy, and this guy doesn’t know who my brother is, so I can’t fault them for anything, but this is weird now. How do I continue dating someone who my brother smashed? I didn’t even mention, this guy I’m seeing told me he was a strict top, and my brother told me he smashed him. Could really use your help T in sorting all this out.
Way Too Connected
Saw some advice you posted on Facebook, and thought it was pretty enlightening. So I thought I’d write to you about a problem I’ve been having. For the past few months, my sister has been dating this real jerk. When she brings him around family events, he doesn’t speak to anyone. When I’ve been out with him and her at a restaurant or bar, he drinks more than anyone and gets ratchet. And I’m pretty sure he is cheating on my sister. One of my friends said he saw the guy talking really close to some random girl about a week ago. I’m not sure what to say to my sister. In the past when me or my mom tried to tell my sister about her boyfriends, she never listened. She always waited until the assholes broke her heart. Looking forward to your advice.
-Andy No Bravo