relationships

My Man Never Told Me He Had a Kid

T,

Let me warn you, this is going to be a complicated question.  Well it’s complicated to me at least. I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 4 years.  If you were to ask me 2 weeks ago, I would have said we were for sure going to get married.  We bought a house together and everything.  However 2 weeks ago while he was on a guys trip with his best friends, I checked the mail and saw a letter addressed to him marked urgent. Or maybe it said important notice.  It said something.  Anyway, I was naturally concerned, so I opened the letter to see if there was something I could take care of for him while he was enjoying his vacation.  Reading the letter, I was stunned to learn it was a notice for a missed child support payment. I read that notice from top to bottom to make sure it was actually for my boyfriend and it was.  I wanted to call him right then and there to ask him what was up, because he never told me he had a child.  But my best friend told me to wait until he got home and confront him, so I did.

As soon as he walked through the door, I started asking questions trying to get answers.  I thought maybe he had cheated on me with a woman or something in the time we’ve been together.  I’m not sure if I should be thankful for it or not, but he told me his kid is 9 years old. He promised me he never cheated on me.  So when I asked why he never told me he had a child and why I’ve never seen her, he told me he doesn’t see her that often because he doesn’t have a good relationship with her mother.

I’m just so hurt by all this.  I don’t know what to do here?  I love him so much and have envisioned a future with this man, but now I don’t know if I can trust him.  Then there’s the fact his relationship with his daughter is not the best.  He swears he talks to her at least once a week and has never missed a child support payment before now, but the fact he doesn’t see her bothers me.  We’ve lived together for over a year, and that child has yet to be in our house.  Apparently, she only lives about 5 hours away.

Long story short, what should I do?  What would you do if you were in my shoes?

From,

Dazed and Confused

Dating

He Looks the Same, But I Still Got Catfished

T,

I met this cool guy on Jack’d, and a few nights ago was the first time we went out.   I was actually excited.  When we were talking on Jack’d, I felt like we just clicked.  But when we met up at the restaurant, I kept thinking I was catfished.  The dude looked like the pictures he sent me, but he was so stiff and boring.  The convos were stale, and I laughed only once.  Who can be with someone that doesn’t make them laugh?  After distancing myself from him since the date, he texted me and asked me when we were going out again.  Because my dating season has been dry, I’m tempted to give him another try, just because of our past online convo.  On the other hand, I don’t want to waste my time.  What are your thoughts?

-Not Impressed