I Thought We Were Vibing, Then I Found out About His Girlfriend

 Hey T.,

I have to admit that you give the best advice – I’ve been reading your page for a week and I’m already in love.

Two weeks ago, I went to a coffee shop with two of my friends and while we were having fun, I noticed that the waiter was interested in me. I kept playing with him as I had just broken up with my boyfriend and when I went to the bathroom with my friends, he came in and told me that he liked me but he was 10 years older than me. The next week I went back there and we exchanged numbers. Two days after that we went on a date and we ended up kissing. We talked a little over the next few days on the phone and I went back there after 5 days and he was totally flirting me and we made out again. He wanted to go out with me again but he cancelled our date because of his job. This afternoon I found some pictures of him and a girl on Facebook and I asked him if he was in a relationship and he replied yes, that our “thing” didn’t mean to be something special and that he’d rather I didn’t tell his gf about us. What should I do?



Him Being Closeted Is Hurting Our Relationship

Dear T,

I actually met you at a DC Outwrite a few weeks ago, and was impressed with what you shared about your site.  So I visited According to T, and read some really good advice you’ve given out to people.  Now I’m hoping you can give me some good advice as well.  Lately, my one year relationship has been a bit rocky.  My boyfriend is a great guy, but he’s not as comfortable with his sexuality as I am.  When we go out to dinner, it’s usually outside the city.  He won’t go to gay bars or restaurants. Also, he doesn’t really have an interest in meeting my friends, or me meeting his.  I’m all for keeping our private life private, but at what point do I get to be offended because I’m being hidden?  I’ve told him I respect his need to want to keep things between us on the low, but I’ve also shared that my ideal relationship is one with someone my family and friends can meet and hangout with when I’m around.  I’d appreciate your thoughts.


Let Me Out the Closet

The Lifestyle

Should I Tell Her the Man She’s with Is Gay?

Hey T,

I’ve got a question for you.  Would you allow your cousin to marry a guy you know for a fact is gay?  My cousin, who is a female and I’m very close with, just got engaged to this man I know used to mess with one of my of old college roommates, who is a guy.  Although these two men were never in a relationship, and this was almost ten years ago, I feel like I should mention to my cousin that her future husband has slept with at least one man.  Thoughts?


Stuck with No Answer

Dating, The Lifestyle

Should I Date Someone Still Stuck in the Closet?

Hey T,

I want to ask you for your opinion on something.  I haven’t seen the inside of the theoretical closet in about 5 years.  However, I’ve been kicking with this guy lately and I think he is really still in it.  He’s not big on going out on dates in public, he introduced me as his friend when we stumbled across one of his old high school buddies, and whenever I go to his place he always has the blinds closed tight and curtains drawn.  I really like this man because we click on many levels, but I don’t like to feel like I’m being drug back in the closet.  Should I dump this guy, or be patient with him and hope things get better?

Thanks in advance,

Truffle No Butter