Dating, The Lifestyle

Should I Date Someone Still Stuck in the Closet?

Hey T,

I want to ask you for your opinion on something.  I haven’t seen the inside of the theoretical closet in about 5 years.  However, I’ve been kicking with this guy lately and I think he is really still in it.  He’s not big on going out on dates in public, he introduced me as his friend when we stumbled across one of his old high school buddies, and whenever I go to his place he always has the blinds closed tight and curtains drawn.  I really like this man because we click on many levels, but I don’t like to feel like I’m being drug back in the closet.  Should I dump this guy, or be patient with him and hope things get better?

Thanks in advance,

Truffle No Butter

Dating, relationships

Can I Tell Him He’s Bad in Bed?

Hey T,

Straight and to the point, how do you tell someone you’re dating they are bad in bed?  Been dating this guy for about a month now, and a few days ago we had sex for the first time.  He is extremely sexy, great personality, and very real, so I want us to work out.  But I don’t know if I can be with someone that is terrible at pleasuring me.  Thanks in advance for the advice.

Anonymously,

Jeffrey Doe

Dating, relationships, The Lifestyle

I’m Gay, He’s Bisexual, Can We Work?

Dear T,

I want to start dating this guy I met about 3 weeks ago, but I’m just a little nervous about doing it.  Since we’ve been texting back and forth, I’ve really come to like him.  But, I found out that he is bisexual.  I know people claim to like both men and women, but I just haven’t bought into that idea.  You either like men or you like women.  You may be willing to sleep with both sexes, but you have a definitive preference for one or the other.  So I guess my hesitation in dating this guy, is that he is still confused as to who he is.  I’d rather not waste my time helping him to figure that out.  Do you think I should date him or not?

Sincerely,

MeekFan89

Dating, relationships, The Lifestyle

Who Picks Up the Check?

Dear T,

Quick question for you.  I’m a man and I’ve started dating men, but I’m slightly confused about the gay dating protocol.   Since we are two men, who pays when we go out?  I mean when I was dating women, I usually would pay because I grew up thinking that was the gentlemen thing to do.  Anyway, your advice is appreciated.

From,

Adam4Adam’90

The Lifestyle

The Black Greek Shun!

Dear T,

So I’m not sure if you know about black Greek stuff or not, but I’m going to go ahead and ask you for some advice about it.  I became a member of a fraternity about two years ago. At first, it was real cool being a part of the brotherhood.  My line brothers and I were always about are business, and we had the best times when we went to parties and on road trips.  Well about a few months ago, my line brothers found out a secret I’ve been keeping, and my relationship with them hasn’t been the same since.  Due to some campus gossips I lived by at college, my brothers found out I’m gay and have a boyfriend.   Being the stereotypical black heterosexual men they are, they’ve pretty much shunned me.  They talk to me as little as possible, and no longer invite me out when they go places.  I have one line brother that is cool with me when it’s just us, but when he gets around my other frat, he says nothing while I’m getting treated poorly.  Since the summer started, I thankfully don’t have to be around all that tension.  However, the fall semester is going to start soon and I’m not looking forward to the bullshit.  Been thinking about just stepping away from the fraternity altogether in August.  And heck I’m chapter president, and do most of the fraternal paperwork.  But I’m tired of the piss pore treatment, and overall discrimination from my own brotherhood.  Any advice you can give me on how I should proceed going forward, is greatly appreciated.  I’m going to be a senior and just want to enjoy my last year in college.

Thankfully,

Half Pint

Pop Culture

Pet Peeves of Social Media

Hello folks,

I’ve come to realize that social media has really empowered many people and given them a voice.  These persons wouldn’t have a voice in communities without platforms such as Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.  And therein lies the problem.  These platforms have given some people a license to be bullies, and others an opportunity to vent their sincerest form of ignorance.  And then there are those that feel social media is the place to spew every negative emotion they are feeling.  Honestly, all three mentioned uses of social interaction tend to get on my last nerve.

friendship, The Lifestyle

Ugh…I’m So Embarrassed!

Dear T,

I love my friend but he acts too gay sometimes.  When we go out in public there are instances when I feel slightly embarrassed by his behavior.  Especially, when we are around my family who are still warming up to the fact I’m gay.  I don’t know if I should say something to him or just bite my tongue.  I know saying something may hurt his feelings, and I don’t want to do that.  However, I wish he would tone it down a bit.  I look forward to hearing what you think I should do.

Sincerely,

Lucky Lyon

friendship

Drunken Nights

Dear T,

I don’t really have a question about dating or relationships, but I have a question nonetheless.  When me and my group of friends go out, one of them, who I’ll refer to as X, always gets to drunk.  I mean we could all be drinking, but usually without fail X will go too far.  When he gets drunk he starts talking very loudly and aggressively with us and strangers.  Plus, X gets super flirtatious.  Many times he has grabbed some guy’s a$$ or crotch. And often the grabbing is not wanted.  Needless to say, his behavior has caused my friends and me to be embarrassed and involved in several altercations.  We tried talking to X about his behavior, and he either doesn’t get that he is reckless drunk, or he doesn’t care.  What would you do in this situation?

From,

Ricky Minaj

friendship, The Lifestyle

Supporting What You Don’t Understand!

Dear T,

I have a question for you.  I’m not actually gay, but my best friend of 12 years has recently come out to me, and I’m not quite sure how to proceed with our friendship.  We met each other at our home church, and there I learned and accepted to a degree that homosexuality is not right in God’s eyes.  So still believing that, how do I give my friend my approval of his new lifestyle?  I realize you are not necessarily a leading scholar on Christianity, but I came across one of your posts on Instagram and you appear to be gay and Christian.  So I thought you could offer up some advice.  Btw, please don’t take any offense to my letter.

Best regards,

Ashley from Around the Way

relationships

Hop Off His Ride So You Can Think!

Dear T,

I think I’m addicted to my ex-boyfriend/current boyfriend depending on the day.  We have been off and on for about 3 and half years now.  We will be good for about 2 months, and then all of a sudden he will do something that pisses me off and cause me to want to break up with him.  I mean he’s lied to me, cheated on me, and he can be so immature sometimes.  However, he also makes me laugh like no other, and he has given me some of the best surprises I’ve ever received.  Plus, the sex with him is beyond amazing.  I mean I’ve been with other guys, but none of them even come close to this man in the bedroom.  My friends say great surprises and mind blowing sex aren’t everything, and if me and the ex break up as often as we do, maybe I should move on.  But I can’t bring myself to let him go.  Say I move on and find another guy that doesn’t cheat, is mature, and always treats me right, but the sex is terrible.  I think if I work with the ex and help him grow up a little, I will have my perfect man.  Please tell me what you think?

Dream Catcher89