relationships

I Love Them, and They Treat Me Like Trash. What’s Wrong with Me?

Hi,

How are you T? I can’t say I know exactly who you are, but I’ve been googling some stuff and I found your page. The thing is, I just needed someone to talk to.

Well first, I’m a 29 years old woman who comes from an Arabic Islam country were the girl is supposed to stay virgin till marriage, but that’s not my case. I lost my virginity 3 years ago to someone I was deeply in love with, though he was the most abusive person you’ll ever meet.  This guy totally ruined my life. He used to humiliate and beat me. He even broke my nose once and gave me several black eyes. He was cheating on me like every day with several women, to the extent that he would try to talk to a girl and flirt with her and take her number while we were together eating or drinking.  In any place he would get furious and start to beat me or call me names and humiliate me in public.

He got me pregnant twice, and of course we aborted the two babies because in my country you can’t have babies without being married. And I remember that the first time we both didn’t know I was pregnant. We had this huge fight during which he kicked me in my stomach, and few hours later I found myself severely bleeding and that’s how I knew I was pregnant. I really can’t tell you how much I suffered during those 5 years. I was totally destroyed and broken physically, mentally and emotionally.

Finally, I was able to get myself out of this toilet called a relationship, but with a huge cost. I was no longer a virgin and that’s a big deal where I come from. I was so scared that my parents would know about me losing my virginity or that I would never get married, because who would want a girl that’s not a virgin? I was so ashamed of myself to the extent that I wished I was dead. I suffered from a severe depression. I used to spend nights and nights on my bed crying and begging for death.

Finally after 8 months of depression, I started to get on my feet again. I got back to my friends and family and to my normal life. Then I met someone. He was a doctor and a true gentleman, or that’s how he acted . I was not ready to get into any kind of relationship, but he didn’t take no as an answer and he kept chasing me with flowers and gifts and pushing me till I agreed to be with him.

He was really nice to me. He use to take care of me and I got so attached to him that I decided to tell him everything about my past and what I have been through. He was very understanding and nice, and he accepted what I said. He told me that he loved me and he didn’t care about anything else. Also, he confessed to me that he was married, got divorced, and that he can’t have kids.  I felt more in love with him after that day and got even closer to him. But of course since I was not a virgin he wanted to have sex.

Like every time we met it was just sex and nothing else. We spent 5 months together, and I’ll spare you the details, but he made me pregnant with twins.  Unfortunately, I went for an abortion for a third time.  That totally ruined me because I needed those babies. I wanted to have kids, but of course that was not possible. Anyway, to cut this short I found out that the decent doctor is still married and he lives happily with his wife. I was totally shocked when I knew the truth. I didn’t know what to do, and still don’t.

He knew that I knew the truth but never tried to call me to explain or even apologize for the pain he caused me. I tried to contact him several times, but of course he never answered. What have I done wrong? Why do they all treat me like a piece of trash? I feel like I’m in a huge mess and I really don’t know what to do. I feel totally alone and scared. Do you think he’ll ever call and apologize?  Do you think I’ll ever find true love? Tell me what to do not to be used again by anyone.

– R

Dating, relationships

Should Your Dating Preferences Be Considered Offensive?

I recently had a brief yet interesting discussion with someone on Instagram that I thought I’d share with you all.  To give a little backstory, the individual in question is a gay person of color that was having a conversation with some of his acquaintances. When he and his friends started talking about dating preferences, he mentioned that he was not usually attracted to white men. At that revelation, he was accused of being racist. Keep in mind, from my understanding he didn’t go on a rant about white men being inferior or the devil.  And he didn’t say anything about practicing open discrimination against white men either. So feeling like it was two against one in the conversation with his acquaintances, he reached out to me to get my input.

Pop Culture

5 Important Takeaways from Black Panther

Marvel’s Black Panther film is hands down one of my favorite movies of all-time.  I know some people will say it’s too early for me to make such a claim, and others may argue I just bought into the hype.  However, I guarantee that it’s not too early and if I bought into the hype, it’s because the movie deserves every bit of it. The Ryan Coogler project is probably one of the only films I’m willing to pay to see in the theater multiple times (I’ve seen it twice already, and really wanting to go see a third soon).   I’ve talked about the movie non-stop since I’ve seen it, and have even pledged my allegiance to Wakanda forever.  With that said, there are five takeaways I got from my new favorite film.

Dating

If We’re Not in a Relationship Yet, Should I Buy a Valentine’s Day Gift?

T,

I have a question for you.  Should I be buying a Valentine’s Day gift for a guy I’ve only been dating for 3 weeks?  It’s weird because part of me thinks it’s kind of early for me to spend money on a gift for someone I’m not sure I’m going to be with a month for now. I mean the guy is cool, and we click, but our thing is still pretty early. Then there’s the whole thing that if I get him something, but he doesn’t get me anything, I may feel some type of way.  Although, I don’t want him to be pissed if he buys me something, but I decide not to get him anything.  Maybe I shouldn’t be this worried about it, but we are supposed to meet up Valentine’s Day and I’m running out of time to think on it. You’re help would be much appreciated.

-Black Cupid 93

The Lifestyle

Another Moment with Euphonious K.Z.G.: A Year to Elevate and Celebrate

Hey everyone. It’s Euphonious K.Z.G. again, and Happy New Year!! *bursts out balloons and confetti*. It’s 2018 and I hope you all are feeling good about this New Year.  If you aren’t, no worries.  There is plenty of time to develop a brighter outlook for the rest of the year. I didn’t start my New Year off on the most exciting note, but it was very insightful. Let me back track a bit for you all.

The Lifestyle

Another Moment with Euphonious K.Z.G.: Gratefulness Day 2017… What a day to remember!!

Blog #3 let’s goooooo! I really wanna talk about my actual gratefulness day with you all because it ended up being AMAZING!! So usually I’m a bit sad on holidays whether it’s from not having a companion to spend the time with cuddling and just loving each other or whether it’s the constant reminder of watching my family drift apart over the years (heartbreaking). This year I actually wasn’t down though. I was pretty content and ready to spend the day to myself, sleeping, video gaming, listening to music, and just being creative.

The Lifestyle

The Unveiling of Euphonious K.Z.G.: Another Guy, Another Perspective

Hello Readers! Before you read too far into this, let me start by saying this in fact is not Tavion Scott.  Allow me to introduce myself.  I am Euphonious K.Z.G. That’s pronounced U-Phony-Us.  Tavion decided to loan me his platform on this fine Monday.  Heck, this Monday and the Mondays to come.  See, he asked me to be his first guest writer for his blog which blew my mind. So I am humbled and honored to have this opportunity and space to share my thoughts, creativity, emotions, weirdness, and light with you all. I hope you enjoy this journey with me. Now I’m a novice and an artist…so I’m sensitive about my shit lol.

Pop Culture

Three Reasons I’m Actually “Thankful” for Trump!

While I might find this man to be morally reprehensible, culturally ignorant, politically unaware, and by all appearances completely narcissistic, today’s post is not actually a bash Trump session. In fact, I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but I think Trump should be thanked.  I know I sound foolish, or perhaps heavily medicated.  However, I do in fact credit Trump with a few “good things.” His political career has served as an eye-opener on three fronts.