Dating

You May Like Him but Office Romances Are Usually a Bad Idea

Hi,

I’ve been speaking and emailing with a guy from our IT department. He’s awesome and thoughtful. Does not have a social media presence, go to the gym, have a sense of humor, likes the count on Sesame Street, works very hard and is very helpful to everyone. If things were not so complicated in my life right now I would definitely see where this could lead.

I must confess that I have been flirting with him and selfishly gave the impression that I am interested. He has now asked to meet over a “beverage” but has thoughtfully said that he’s happy to make a site visit at my work so that I can see if he’s someone I would like to have a “beverage” with (we have never met each other). I like him but I don’t want to hurt him. I would be keen to know what you think of him from what little information I have provided and any advice on what I should do.

-Xx Conflicted

Dating, relationships

I Want to Marry My Boyfriend but My Family Doesn’t Like Him

So T,

I’m having a hard time trying to decide on what to do about my boyfriend, well hopeful fiancé. We’ve been together for about two and a half years now, and I’m ready to make him mine. I mean we already live together and have a dog, but I’m ready to take that next step. I’m pretty sure he’s ready too. The only problem is my family isn’t supportive of us getting married.

It’s not that my family doesn’t support gay marriage, they just don’t like my boyfriend. In fact they can’t stand him. My mom and sister especially think he doesn’t pay for anything, and will hurt me again. He cheated on me a year ago once, but after time and a little counseling, we got back together. I’ve forgiven him, but my family is still salty about it.

Anyway, I’m grown and can do what I want, but I want my family to be okay with this engagement and eventual marriage. I just don’t know how to make this work. Any ideas?

-RJ Sims 92

Dating, relationships

Is It Colorism, Just a Dating Preference, or Both?

The conversation about colorism and people’s dating preferences is certainly NOT new. Black folks and other people of color have been talking about skin color and sexual attraction for generations. While I’m a firm believer that beauty exists across the spectrum of black and brown, I’ve witnessed my fair share of individuals with a “skewed” perception of attractiveness. Those people that are firm believers in the “light is right” mantra. They believe that being light-skinned grants a person an automatic qualification of beautiful, and that those of a darker tone have got to have some damn near flawless features in order to compete. And while people are ready to blast those that have a preference for the Halle Berry and Michael Ealy folks of the world, perhaps the offended should give those attracted to our lighter brothers and sisters a break.

The Lifestyle

Insecure’s Lawrence vs. Daniel… Who Would You Choose?

Lawrence vs. Daniel

If you haven’t had the opportunity to check out the amazing show Insecure, let me warn you that this post will contain spoilers.  So before you read any further, do yourself a favor and watch the series.  Heck, stop missing out on a movement. Issa Rae created something that is “hella” creative, “hella” funny, and “hella” reflective of the awkwardness that exists in all of us.  Particularly, when it comes to matters of the heart.   But anyway, onto the premise of this post.

The Lifestyle

Was Beyoncé’s “Sorry” Calling the Grammys Out for 2015 AOTY Snub?

As a loyal member of the Beyhive, I, like many, am still seething about the results from this year’s Grammy Award Ceremony. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of the British songstress Adele.  I often find her lyrics to be emotionally impactful and her voice to be an amazing rarity in today’s music industry.  With that said, there is no way that 25 was better than the cultural phenomenon Lemonade. Heck, Adele herself even admitted that.

The Lifestyle

Should We Be Mad about a Roots Reboot?

With the reboot of the classic Roots hitting airways this week, I’ve seen a number of posts on social media platforms and blogs bashing the miniseries and blacks recent depiction in film.  While I’ve admittedly not been the biggest supporter of this remake (I just feel certain projects should not be rebooted), I’m not against the miniseries for the same reasons most naysayers are.  But I most certainly understand the naysayers’ frustrations.

The Lifestyle

This Can’t Be American Politics

Up until now, I’ve been relatively quiet about the present and future political landscape of this country.  And that’s not because I haven’t had my share of opinions.  Trust me, I’ve had plenty to say.  But now with the 2016 presidential primaries inching closer, and certain politicians and pundits shoving their feet further into their mouths, I decided to get somethings off my chest.  So here it goes.