It sucks when in a relationship everything is perfect but one wants just companionship and the other wants commitment. I’ve been dating my bf for a little over a year now. This is my happiest relationship so far. He treats me really well and I balance out his energy perfectly too. But, I’m foreign on a visa, and my visa is expiring in a year.
When I had the talk with him on whether or not he would consider marriage as a way to keep me here, he backed out. He has his reasons, but I think in reality just like what you said in your writing, he’s probably only looking for companionship and will never commit not matter how much he loves or cares about the person. Because for him, the fear of losing freedom outweighs all the benefits he get from a relationship.
It’s so funny how the universe works. This just happened yesterday, and today I saw your post. We are all on our own journeys, and sometimes even the almost perfect person might still not meant to be.
I’m having a problem I need your help with. Long story short, one of my best friends is a straight guy, and we’ve known each other since middle school. About four months ago he started dating this girl who I can’t stand. When I first met her I could tell something was off about her, but I kept my feelings to myself. I really wish I hadn’t.
Since she’s been around I don’t see my friend as much, and any time I do see him she’s right there behind him like a shadow. Not only is she there, but she looks at me with this stank face like I pissed in her grits or something. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is jealous or something like I want to screw my best friend.
Keep in mind I’ve never slept with my best friend, nor have I ever wanted to sleep with him. He’s cute and is about his business, but I’ve never wanted to cross that line with him. He’s like my blood brother. He wouldn’t cross that line with me either because he is very much into women.
What do I do in this situation? The longer this woman is around, the more attached she and my friend become. I’m nervous about our friendship. I tried asking why his girl doesn’t seem to like me, but he said she doesn’t have a problem and she’s cool. I know that’s a lie.
Life is Like a Box of Chocolate.
While surfing through IG posts and Twitter feeds, I often see people complaining about the current dating landscape. Most of these individuals appear to be great guys and girls who are looking for love, only to be constantly let down by relationship prospects. After doing some thinking and digging, I decided to create a list of six concepts I believe are getting in the way of individuals landing bae.
Point blank, what would you do if you think your boyfriend had an alcohol problem? My boyfriend and I been together for about 5 months, and over the past 2 months I realized I’m not a big fan of him drunk. I mean he’s always liked drinking the occasional drink. Hell, we met at a club. I used to think his drunken antics were a little cute. He would get very talkative, and his sex game improved ironically. Lately though, when he drinks he gets a little belligerent, and he’s drinking more frequently. In fact, we now usually get into our biggest arguments after he’s been drinking, and since he’s been doing more of that, we argue often.
I’ve asked him if he thought maybe he had a problem, but he says he doesn’t and I’m just hyping up the situation. I love my boyfriend and I want us to work out, but I don’t know if I want to deal with him and the drinking like that, and he doesn’t acknowledge a problem. So what would you do? What should I do?
-Want Him to Stop
I can’t deal with my new boyfriend’s insecurities. We officially got into a relationship about a month ago, and ever since then something flipped with him. At first it started with him jokingly talking about guys commenting on my posts or tweets, and me liking the comments. He would hit me with one of those “oh you getting all the hoes still” and laugh, so I would shrug my shoulders and laugh it off. Then he progressively would mention the commenting without laughing, and legit arguments would pop off. To help ease the tension I became a little more careful about the kind of things I would post or tweet, but still tried to be me.
It’s not just that social media thing anymore though. He gets jealous if we’re out and I stop to talk to any guy. Whether they are a friend, work colleague, or whatever, he wants to get all up under me all of a sudden and practically demands an introduction. Then there’s the fact that he hates when I go out with my friends without him. The part that really has me ready to throw the whole relationship away is we got into an argument a few days ago about why I won’t give him passwords to my IG and twitter accounts, and to unlock my phone. I stood my ground and told him no, and he kind of dropped it, but the whole convo just left me feeling salty.
To be clear, outside of the insecurity issues, I love my boyfriend. He really is a great guy, and I know he’s acting like this because his two boyfriends before me cheated on him apparently. But I can’t do much more of this. What should I do?
I’ve peeped a few of your posts and I love your advice. Your words really do be hitting. Hopefully, your words will hit on something today. I find myself stuck in this situation with this guy who I met through IG six weeks ago. So initially, I came across his profile through another IG friend who liked his post. After I went to the guy’s page, I thought he was fine AF, and we seemed to have things in common. Naturally, I started to follow him, and then he followed me. He even did the thing where he went through my profile and liked a bunch of my posts. I took that as a sign to shoot my shot, and did. We started flirting back and forth through DMs, then moved our convos to phone.
Once we exchanged numbers, we would text throughout the day and even talk on the phone at night every now and then. I forgot to mention, he lives in Houston and I live in Atlanta. That’s important, because last weekend I was in Houston to meet up with friends and didn’t even see him. We had planned to meet up and he knew I was coming, but as soon as I got to Houston all of a sudden he was too busy to see me. He claimed he was swamped with a project at work. I think that is bs because I feel he could at least met up with me for an hour.
Long story short, since I’ve been back in ATL we don’t really communicate like we were. He tried to text me this week to apologize, but honestly I was still in my feelings and didn’t want to hear it so I’ve been distant. I’m frustrated because I still like the guy but don’t like feeling I’ve been played. What do you suggest here?
Confused Dater 92
I’m having this issue with my boyfriend lately. After about a year hiatus from Instagram, I decided to hop back on it. At first, my boyfriend wasn’t even tripping. But now because I’ve gotten more followers, and this one account that features “sexy thick men” or whatever posted my picture, I’ve gotten a lot of likes and flirtatious comments underneath my pictures. Plus, I received some DMs. Keep in mind, I’ve never responded to the DMs and I don’t do anything more than like the comments. I rarely reply, and if I do it’s nothing more than thanks or thank you. However, my boyfriend has been acting real jealous and a little bitchy like I’ve done something wrong, like I’ve cheated. I haven’t cheated and I haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sick of feeling like I’m constantly being punished for nothing. Heck, he’s had an Instagram for a minute and I ain’t tripping. How would you handle this situation? By the way, love the work you’re doing. Keep it up.
-Back on IG
My sister actually told me about your site so I decided to check it out, and based on what I read I think you may be able to give me some assistance. Basically, I found out that a guy I like and I’m talking to has also been talking to one of my friends at the same time. I really feel some type of way about him trying to get with me and someone I know. To add, I know the two of us aren’t committed to each other yet, but I hadn’t really been talking to other people, so I’m shocked he has been. In dude’s defense, I’m like 90% sure he doesn’t know me and my friend actually know each other, but I still feel some type of way. I’ve been acting funny with guy over the past couple days and he noticed. He asked me what’s up, and I told him I’ve been busy with work because I’m not sure what to do. My friend and I talked about the guy, and he told me he’s talking to a few guys and if I liked this one, he’ll back off. Honestly, I just don’t know what to do here. Your advice would be appreciated.
-Not Good in Triangles
I came across your content on Instagram, and I loved it. You say some good stuff that’s definitely on point. The question I have for you today is about hoeing. I’ve been dating this guy for about two months, and recently we decided to become exclusive. I really like him. Like a lot. He’s almost my dream guy. He’s fine, financially stable, great body, funny, and we have a lot in common. The problem is, I think he used to be a huge hoe. Scratch that, I know he used to be a hoe. In so many words, he kind of said that.
At first I didn’t care about his past as much, because it was his past and everyone has one, including me. However, I think his past is bothering me now because when we go out to spots it seems he always knows someone, and the someone is usually a person he has hooked up with apparently. Plus, we follow each other on Instagram and every time he posts a selfie or something, I look at his comments and a part of me becomes insecure. I hate that because I’m not an insecure person. So I guess my actual question, is what do I do? How do I stay in this relationship and not drive myself crazy.
Mr. Worried but Not Worried
So picture it, it’s the 1950s in America. It’s a time where smartphones don’t exist, the term social media hasn’t yet been coined, and hoeing is not a glorified expedition sport. (To be clear, I’m not reading or shaming those that embrace their sexuality a little more frequently and publicly than most.) If I’m to believe the wonderful stories shared by my grandparents, which I most certainly do, the 1950s was a drastically different time then than it is now. Especially, when it comes to dating and relationships.