I hope that you are well. As always, I enjoy your site and the advice that you give so I am reaching out. Here is my dilemma. I am HIV Undetectable. When dating, I oftentimes wonder when to disclose to my dating partner. I don’t want to mention it too soon and scare him off. I also don’t want to wait too late, especially if it’s a “deal-breaker” for him. Do you have any advice on the right time to disclose HIV status so no one is wasting their time but giving a fair chance for things to develop?
-Soon to Be Late
Hey folks. I’m just going to get right to it. Go check out my scripted series Majoring in Me the Podcast! The first five episodes are up on major podcasting platforms, and I’m getting great feedback from people. And to those people, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
There is so much that goes into each of these episodes, so hearing the positive compliments truly means a lot. (By the way, I now know why Issa hasn’t let us fans pressure her into making Insecure an hour-long show. It’s a ton of work.)
Now for those who haven’t started listening yet, you’re missing out on the story of a young Black gay man trying to awkwardly navigate his way through college. But then again, I don’t know how things wouldn’t get a little “awkward” when you’ve lived all your life faking it as a heterosexual boy to then start living as a gay man (without “practice” or “guidance”). And then on top of that, you’re forced into building a relationship with a parent that pretty much ghosted you since infancy.
However, before I give away too much, just go listen to Majoring in Me the Podcast. And if you’ve already heard the podcast and are a fan, like it, subscribe, and share the link.
This is going to sound weird because it is weird. My boyfriend recently came to me and told me he had a confession. I thought he was going to tell me he cheated, but instead, he said he hadn’t cheated but felt like he wanted to cheat. He apparently said he sometimes feels like hooking up with other men, but won’t because he doesn’t want to hurt me. He said he did the right thing by telling me. I’m not sure how he’d think I respond, but I was pissed. He promised he didn’t do anything with anyone and didn’t hit anyone up. Even said I should be thankful he was honest with his feelings. He went onto say, he just wants us to do more to spice things and suggested some kind of open relationship where we get a pass to mess with a stranger every now and then. I just don’t know what to do with this info because I think an open relationship is the first step to us breaking up. Suggestions?
Here’s the situation. I was dealing with a guy that I had strong feelings for. He didn’t have as deep of a connection for me as I did him. We talked and we became friends, very good platonic friends. A few months later we become roommates. I moved into his home renting a room. Things are great, I’ve had my overnight company, a friend visiting from out of town.
Recently, he’s started having a local consistent friend stay overnight. For whatever reason, I’ve become bothered by this. I don’t know why. We were never together. In hindsight, I can acknowledge that. I openly accept that he and I aren’t supposed to be together. He has had people come over, they did whatever they did, and they’d leave. I don’t know why I’m feeling bothered by my friend finding someone he can spend time with consistently. Can you help me process this?
- Philly Black Gay Pride (April 27-April 30)
While Philly has never been my favorite city (no offense to the folks from there), this has always been a great kickoff to pride events on the East coast. Given that the event coincides with the track and field Penn Relays, the city is full of people. Not to mention, the city is in driving distance for many people in the Northeast.