Dating

I Really Like Him, But He Won’t Meet Me in Person

T,

I have a problem I don’t think you’ve written about but hoping you can help me with. I’ve been talking to this guy who I really like for about six weeks or so on IG. Not only does he have body and a great smile, but he also is sexy to me because he is smart. The conversations we have always leave me feeling a type of way if you know what I mean. As great as this guy seems though, we haven’t met in person. Every time I suggest it, he says cool, kind of flakes last minute.

Now usually, I’d tell a guy about himself and just block him. But every time I go to do that, I go through our messages and look at pics of him, and get a little hot to be honest. It doesn’t help that we’ve phone boned a couple of times, and it was sexy. And he’s seen private photos of mine and I’ve seen his, so I feel invested for some reason. My friends think I’m being dumb and being played, but part of me just feel like me and this guy could work, so I don’t want to cut him off completely. Besides, I still talk to other dudes. Could use your input.

-Shamefully Sprung

Dating, relationships

You Fell In Love and He Cheated… How to Move on from an EX

Well this year I’ve been going through a huge transition in life and it’s all after finding out my ex cheated on me for years. Reflecting on my relationship, I did a lot to make it work and sacrificed a lot to make them happy and now seeing my energy and love was taken advantage of to make them feel better, simply sucks.  So I guess my question is “He f$cked you over, now what?

Now life has gotten a lot better for me, confidence risen, job opportunities, genuinely happy. But my hardest struggle is getting passed and over the hurt and pain, and it’s hard not reflect on the past.

-Surprisingly Broken

Dating, relationships

My Standards, My Expectations, and My Inability to Keep a Man

Dear T,

A friend told me about your blog, and since I’ve started reading it, it’s become one of my favorite things. Great job. Anyway, the reason I’m writing is that I’m tired of starting over when it comes to dating. It seems like I meet a guy, we date for maybe a month or two, then we break up or whatever. My sister suggested that I give up too easy or something, but I’m not convinced that’s true. I just don’t think something that’s meant to be in terms of a relationship should be that hard in the beginning. I get I’m a complicated person and I may even demand too much, but I like what I like and I deserve to have a soulmate.  Guess my question to you is, do you think there is something wrong with me? Why can’t I get out of this pattern of dating and breaking up, and get into a lasting relationship?

– I Was Supposed to Be In Love By Now

relationships

My Man is Being a Rock for His Ex, and I Can’t Stand It

Hey Tavion,

I’m having relationship problems, or at least I am. Can’t say my boyfriend sees there is anything wrong. I want you to know I’m a really nice and sympathetic person. I’m not some kind of heartless monster. However, I’m getting sick and tired of my boyfriend of two months catering to his ex.

See my boyfriend’s ex apparently is going through a lot right now. According to the ex, his dad almost died because of diabetes he didn’t know he had. The ex’s dad had been touch and go for a few weeks not sure he would make it, but he turned a corner and is slowly starting to recover. Plus, the ex claims that his sister is in an abusive relationship with the father of her kids. In the midst of all the issues going on in the ex’s life, he has been blowing up my boyfriend needing to talk and someone to lean on.

While I understand my boyfriend and his ex were together for over five years, they’ve been broken up for about a year.  I don’t get why his ex is constantly coming to him when things come up. I feel like the ex is still leaning on my boyfriend like he’s still his man, and that bothers me. I want to say something to my bf, but I don’t want to sound like some selfish nasty person. But the longer I remain quiet, the more I find myself being shady to my boyfriend, causing him to keep asking what’s wrong. I haven’t told him, because I don’t want to sound insensitive and come off uncompassionate. So what do I do? Say something to my boyfriend? Or swallow my feelings and pretend nothing is wrong with me, and have my boyfriend feel my anger boil up? What would you do if you were in my shoes?

Thanks,

-Real Deal Jones

The Lifestyle

7 Events for the Black Gay Man’s Summer Calendar

  1. Philly Black Gay Pride (April 27-April 30)

While Philly has never been my favorite city (no offense to the folks from there), this has always been a great kickoff to pride events on the East coast. Given that the event coincides with the track and field Penn Relays, the city is full of people. Not to mention, the city is in driving distance for many people in the Northeast.

 

 

The Lifestyle

Moonlight Backlash is Ridiculous

Since so many people want to talk about why they have a problem with a movie like Moonlight winning an Oscar for Best Picture, let’s talk about it shall we.  Let’s talk about this masterpiece that Barry Jenkins and Tarell Alvin McCraney created.  The movie deserved that win this past Sunday.  Hands down.  While I would have been pleased if Hidden Figures had nabbed the trophy, Moonlight’s victory means more for me as a black gay man.

Tavion Scott the Author

Majoring in Me (Acceptance) is Officially Available

Hey Folks,

It’s here! It’s finally here! Majoring in Me (Acceptance) is now available for purchase. Wow that sounds so crazy for me to say.  What started out as some writing in a notebook about two years ago, is finally a published body of work.  To say I’m excited is an understatement.  But with my excitement comes a healthy dose of anxiety.  I’m not afraid to admit that to you all either.

Personal Revelations, Tavion Scott the Author

“Do You Know What Today Is?”… It’s My Anniversary

Happy Thursday Folks!  Today marks an amazing day for me, because it is officially According to T’s anniversary.  A year ago today, I answered my first question and posted my first response.  It’s crazy to think that I’ve been blogging for 12 months.  You all have to understand, I wasn’t sure I’d be doing this for a few months let alone for a year.  I kind of thought I was running with this crazy idea that people wouldn’t buy into or understand.  So I’m thankful for all the support and positive vibes I received from site visitors and those seeking advice.  It’s honestly quite humbling.