My partner and I first began our now 3 year relationship via long distance. I moved down to Atlanta from Houston to be with him full time after 1 year but we were sleeping with other people while still out of state. I’ve been here for the last 2 years and after the honeymoon phase has worn out I discovered my mood has sunken into depression and anxiety due to being away from my family and friends back in my hometown.
This is my first long term live-in relationship and first foray into living away from home altogether. I noticed that I had stepped out here and there with each trip out of town due to my feelings of unhappiness. We were now considering moving back to Houston but I recently slipped up with an ex a few months ago on a trip back to Houston that my hometown partner found out about via hacking my phone.
I’m confused if I am truly depressed about my current relationship being monogamous and feelings of being stifled domestically. Or unhappy with being away from my hometown. We recently started couple counseling and each started therapy for clarity in our emotions. Should I try to make this work or leave while the going is good?
-Needy Neurotic or Nympho
I’m having a problem I need your help with. Long story short, one of my best friends is a straight guy, and we’ve known each other since middle school. About four months ago he started dating this girl who I can’t stand. When I first met her I could tell something was off about her, but I kept my feelings to myself. I really wish I hadn’t.
Since she’s been around I don’t see my friend as much, and any time I do see him she’s right there behind him like a shadow. Not only is she there, but she looks at me with this stank face like I pissed in her grits or something. I’ve come to the conclusion that she is jealous or something like I want to screw my best friend.
Keep in mind I’ve never slept with my best friend, nor have I ever wanted to sleep with him. He’s cute and is about his business, but I’ve never wanted to cross that line with him. He’s like my blood brother. He wouldn’t cross that line with me either because he is very much into women.
What do I do in this situation? The longer this woman is around, the more attached she and my friend become. I’m nervous about our friendship. I tried asking why his girl doesn’t seem to like me, but he said she doesn’t have a problem and she’s cool. I know that’s a lie.
Life is Like a Box of Chocolate.
Full disclosure, my friends have told me I’m picky when it comes to dating. If knowing what you do and don’t want is picky, then by all means call me picky. I just don’t think there is anything wrong with having standards. However, I told myself in 2019 I would keep my friends’ words in mind. Having said all of that let me get to the reason I’m writing you.
I’ve been seeing this guy I like for about a month now. I mean I really do like him. He checks off all the boxes on my checklist, and he’s got me completely pressed. Or he did before I recently saw his feet. The other night we were intimate and he finally took his socks off and I was horrified. I mean I’ve seen some bad feet, but his toes alone look like someone has been gnawing at them. Then when the bottom of his feet managed to touch my leg, I swore he cut me.
As much as I like this guy, I don’t think I can be with someone with bad feet. Not that I make a habit of putting toes in my mouth, but if I was in the right mood I wouldn’t even be able to remove his socks. I’m doing my best not to be picky in this situation, but damn. His feet are gross.
What are your thoughts?
-I Can’t Do His Feet
My boyfriend just got back from another city. Now I’ve found out he cheated on me while we are in 5 months long distance relationship. Seen pictures of his and a woman’s clothes in a hotel. But I already had that feeling inside me that he is hiding something from me. What should I do? Haven’t talked to him yet. I am confused on what should I feel. Should I forgive him? Damn this feeling.
While surfing through IG posts and Twitter feeds, I often see people complaining about the current dating landscape. Most of these individuals appear to be great guys and girls who are looking for love, only to be constantly let down by relationship prospects. After doing some thinking and digging, I decided to create a list of six concepts I believe are getting in the way of individuals landing bae.
I have a big problem now. I don’t even know what to do I’m so confused. I just find out I’m 12 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend wants me to abort the baby, but guess what hurts me more I just realized he has a 2 year old daughter. I kept asking him if there was anything I needed to know, but he kept on saying he has told me everything. I’m so mad. I need advice he doesn’t even know I have found out, I need advice please advise me. Help a sister.
First and foremost, I love what you’re doing here. Like that you created something for us by us. It’s like you’re the FUBU of advice or something. That’s definitely a throwback and not the point. The point and the question I have is about my friend and ex.
Here’s the thing, my ex and I broke up about three months ago after a two year relationship. We are still cool. About a month ago a friend of mind reached out to me and wanted to know if he could hit up my ex to help him start his business. My friend is trying to flip houses, and my ex is a realtor assessor, so it makes sense for my friend to want my ex’s advice. Of course I was cool with them talking because I support friends chasing bags. However, my friend contacted him a month ago, and now it seems like him and my ex are cool. As a matter of fact, they are too damn cool.
I feel like my friend is breaking friend code by building a friendship with someone I used to date. Especially, because I’m starting to think my friend may be catching feelings for my ex. My friend has been sneaky in the past with another friend’s ex, and I don’t want him pulling that with me. If you were me, what would you do?
Believer in the Code
I’ve been trying to figure out how to address the recent events that took place in Chicago, and I’ve been struggling to filter out my thoughts. Part of my struggle comes from knowing that Jussie is me and I’m Jussie. Strip away his fame and celebrity, and we are both Black Gay men living in the United States. I keep thinking it could have easily been me that was attacked.
Another part of my struggle comes from being angry about the situation, and not knowing how to write about my feelings in a meaningful way. This is a tough topic to navigate. While I’m not sure if I’ve been able to truly sort out of all of my thoughts in a manner that doesn’t sound like word vomit, I’ve managed to write something. So please, bear with me.
Just going to put this out there first, I love your site. I think it’s real dope that you dedicate your time to help the gay community, good looking out. Okay so with the nice stuff out the way, here’s the problem. I started talking to this guy that I thought could be boyfriend material. It’s only been about two weeks, but I could tell we had a vibe going on. Then I made two mistakes. I told my friend about him and I followed him on Instagram.
When I told my friend about the guy and showed him the dude’s picture, the first thing my friend said was literally “oh him.” When I asked what that meant, my friend said he knew the guy had talked to two people he knew. That news by itself didn’t make my warning lights go off. However, when I followed him on Instagram and looked through his comments, he always has guys flirting with him in his comments. I just don’t like dating popular folks. I don’t want to be one guy in a sea of others guys chasing one man. That’s not me. My friend told me to chill and date the man if I like him, but now I’m insecure about the whole thing. Do you think I’m trippin?
I have a question for you. It may seem stupid compared to some of the questions you answer, but I’d appreciate your honesty. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months now, and everything is cool except this one thing. When I spend the night at his place or he spends the night at mine, I can’t ever get any sleep. EVER! He always tries cuddling up with me and sleeping right on top of me. I just can’t sleep with a person on me all night. For the past few weeks, I’ve been coming up with excuses as to why he shouldn’t sleep over or why I can’t sleep at his spot. I know I probably should say something to him about the discomfort, but when I’ve mentioned the issue in the past with my ex, my ex and I got into a dumb argument. I don’t want that to happen. So yeah, your thoughts.
-No More Sleepless Nights