relationships

I Suggested the Open Relationship, and He Got a Woman Pregnant

T,

I need some advice about a weird and frustrating problem I’m dealing with. Basically me and my boyfriend are in an open relationship while my job has me on the other side of the country for nine months.  My boyfriend is legit bisexual, and I know sometimes he may crave something I don’t have. So while we’re in the open relationship, I told him it was okay if he hooked up with women. Also, even though we agreed I could top men only, I haven’t done it. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep with anyone. Well now this whole open relationship idea, which was kind of my suggestion, bit me in the ass.

Last week I found out from my boyfriend that a woman he slept with is pregnant. I’m still shook by the news. I’m mad he knocked a woman and I’m mad he was out here not being careful. My boyfriend apologized and told me he doesn’t want to be with anyone but me. He pretty much begged me not leave him. I’m just not sure I can do this situation. I love him and thought about us having kids one day, but not like this.

What would you do if you were me?

-Is This Endgame

Dating

Fitness Or Romance? Should I Tell Him I Like Him?

Hi T!

I just recently found your blog and really liked your advice so I figured I’d ask you for some! I have a crush on one of my martial arts instructors and am dying over it. We share a lot of interests and get along really well. He seems to treat me a little differently and I don’t know if it’s because we’re friends or what. We’ve known each other for 5 months now and see each other 5/6 days a week. I’m extremely hesitant to even hint at asking him out because I don’t want to fuck up what we’re currently vibing with.

The few times we’ve been out in a group he gave me a hug (he doesn’t like touching people/people touching him and he initiated the hugs each time). The time we went out to a bar with some others from our studio, I had alcohol for the first time ever, and he babysat me.  He made sure I drank lots of water, let me rest my head on his shoulder, and walked me out to my uber.

I know he’s currently single. He told me he bragged to his brother and his soon-to-be sister-in-law when he took some of the treats I made home for them to try and boasted about being able to have my treats weekly.  I know he swings my way, I’m AFAB non-binary, and after I casually mentioned I was nb he asked for my pronouns so as not to make me uncomfortable.

I’m just so torn between saying nothing and enjoying what we’ve got going.  Or asking him out and possibly fucking things up. I like him and our studio and everyone there. It would suck if I said or did anything to make him uncomfortable or make things between us awkward.

Should I just say ‘screw it’ and ask him out? Or bite my tongue?

Thank you! <3

-Martial Arts Admirer

The Lifestyle

I’m Single and Don’t Want to Be…Where Is My Bae?

Hello Tavion,

Please help a brother out! I have a huge dilemma. I’m Black, Bisexual, Christian, and Undetectable…..need I say more? It has become extremely difficult to have a lasting relationship with either gender. I have been cut short because of my race, my beliefs, my sexuality, and/or my status.  I am at a point where I’m ready (been ready) to settle down, build a life with my partner, and start a family. What to do?

BBCU

The Lifestyle

My Son May Be Gay, What Should I Do?

 Hello T,

I need some help here for my son.  If he is gay that is fine and if not that is fine too. He started hanging with a friend he met and they get along great, which is cool. The thing is my son says he is confused because he likes to hang with his friend because he likes his values and the way he thinks but he does not like penis and his new friend is 100% gay. So what advice can I help give to him. I told him it seems like a companionship more than a relationship but they are pretty close in comparison and hard to help him understand what it is he has.  I just love my son no matter what, and I just feel you can give some really good advice.

Thank you so very much,

J.

Dating, relationships

You’re Bisexual and Your Boyfriend is a “Bisexual-Phobe”

Tavion,

I’ve got a bit of a problem. Or at least I think I do.  So check it, I’ve been in this relationship with my boyfriend for about two months. One night we were just talking about our pasts and what not, and I talked about my ex-girlfriend.  When I told him that we actually lived together and were briefly engaged, he got all weird. Which I don’t understand.  I thought he was jealous at first, but then he started asking me why I didn’t tell him I’m bisexual. Like he legit got pissed at me.  In fact, ever since we talked about my past three days ago, he’s been barely talking to me. I don’t get what his issue is. He can’t really be this upset about me being bisexual can he? Let me know your thoughts.

-I Like Both

relationships

My Boyfriend Is Attracted to Men and Women, and I Hate It

 Hey you,

I came across your site and I thought I should just ask. So I’m gay and kind of never had the experience with a woman. No relationships, no sex, no whatever. If I compare myself to other gay guys it seems like the majority of gays had relationships and even sex with woman (I’m from Germany so I don’t know how it is compared to the US).

Anyway, it really made me feel quite bad because I think I’m missing out on something. I don’t feel any sexual attraction to women, but still it hurts me that I am kind of a minority inside of a minority (gay and no sex ever had with a woman).

So far this was kind of okay, but now with my boyfriend it’s a little harder.  He’s had one relationship with a girl and sex which already is hard for me. But on top of that, he has had sex once with another girl when he was already out of the closet with a girl who knew he was gay. He told me she provoked him. It lowered my self-esteem even more, because he can fuck women anytime he wants even though he’s not attracted sexually to women, in his words “it feels just mechanic”.

I know it’s kind of jealousy too, but I still need something more than somebody telling me not to be jealous.

I like him very much and want to overcome this. There was a moment when it came back to my mind and I felt disgusted while cuddling with him just because I imagined how he fucked that girl, but I didn’t tell him that

He told me that some weeks ago but I can’t stop thinking about it.

He also told me that he’s gay but when he drinks its easier for him to find woman attractive.  I asked him if I should worry if he will ever sleep again with a woman he said no. I’m sure he likes me and I want to free myself of this, but I can’t put down his past where he had sex with women.

I would be so glad if you could give me any advice please.

Thank you in advance.

-Bert

relationships

My Long Distance Boyfriend Cheated on Me

Hello T,

I’m in a relationship with my British boyfriend and when we met at the airport he proposed to me which I said YES because I love him with all my heart, then  getting to his lovely house that same day I ate and had my bath. And when he was having his bath I was going through his phone, then I saw a text on his phone telling one of his friends he gave someone a hand job because he was lonely and not with his boyfriend yet. This happened a week after I came so I was shocked because he promised never to cheat on me and that he’ll never sleep with anyone else.  Even when I told him someday to sleep with someone because I cared about him because he was telling me how frustrated he was alone without me yet, but I told him if he do that that he should protect himself but he refused and said NO that he won’t cheat on me which I’d believed but now I’m confused, I’m thinking he will still do the same someday when we’re married.

Please help me with advice.

From NiG Nello

Dating

Should Dating Someone Bisexual Be a Big Deal?

Hi T,

Was told about your website, so I decided to come check it out. This past weekend some friends and I had one of those wine and movie nights, and watched that movie that came on Lifetime with Kelly Rowland and Meagan Good.  Well anyway, in the movie one of the characters, a woman, fell in love with a man who identified as bisexual. Naturally, that brought up a discussion among us if any of us could date a guy that was bisexual. My friends say they couldn’t do it.  And despite the fact that I support the LGBT community and have marched for LGBT rights, I don’t think I could date a man that’s bisexual either.  I feel horrible for saying that, but I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable with.  You don’t think that makes me a bad person do you?  Me and my friends are all women by the way.  Hope this question doesn’t sound completely weird or ridiculous. Love your site.

From,

An Inquiring Mind

relationships

After this Breakup, Will I Find Love Again?

Hello T,

Thanks for the advice in the last article. Unfortunately, my guy wants to explore this “spark” with his “friend” more than he wants to be with me. It HURTS! I feel that he’s my soul mate and I’ve never said that about anyone before. Plus, this guy is in a relationship himself. Will the pain of losing your soul mate ever go away? Do you get more than one soul mate? Will God show him the truth?

Lost and Confused