friendship

It’s Only Been 7 Months, Should I Stop My Friend from Getting Married?

Dear T,

Let me start by saying how much I love your site. A cousin recommended I check it out about a week ago, and I’m hooked. You have some pretty good advice and some of the questions hit real close to home. So the reason I’m writing is because I have a question.

Okay, so about 3 weeks ago my best friend got engaged to a guy he’s only been with about 7 months. I think that’s hella of fast, but my best friend says he loves him and knows this is his husband. As much as I want to support him in his rushed relationship, yes that’s shade, I just can’t bring myself to be that happy for him. I honestly don’t like his fiancé.

His fiancé is a little shady in my opinion. The dude cheated on him like a 2 month ago with some random from the club. I thought that my friend would end things for good, but he only broke up with the guy for like a week then took him back. I rolled my eyes super hard on that one. Oh and did I mention that the fiancé is apparently not in contact with any of his family members. That is super suspicious to me.

Sorry, my question is this. Do I try and convince my friend not to get married? I don’t want him to hate me or take away my title as best man. On the other hand, I don’t want him to make such a huge mistake. He’s thinking of not signing a prenup with this fool, and my friend has a lot of coin.

Thanks,

Unsupportive But Supportive Bestie

friendship

How Do you Tell Your Best Friend The Guy He’s Seeing is NO Good?

Dear Tavion,

The problem I’m having lately is with my best friend and the guy he’s been dating.  See my best friend is one of the sweetest guys in the world. He’ll do anything for you, is always there when you need him, and always tries to see the good in people.  Me on the other hand, I’m not so trusting of people, and I’m definitely not so trusting of my friend’s man.  My gut tells me this guy is using my friend.  From what my friend tells me, every time he and this guy go out, my friend always pays.  The guy doesn’t even offer.  I also found out that my friend recently paid for this guy’s phone bill. I want to scream to my friend he’s being stupid and probably being used because he has some money, but my friend can be sensitive sometimes. Last time I tried to tell him about a man he was seeing, he got upset and we didn’t speak for a few days.  Keep in mind that I was actually right. How do I handle this situation this go around?

-Philly Tommy

relationships

Your Family and Friends Hate Your Man, and It’s Your Fault!

Hi T,

I have a dilemma I’m hoping you can help me with.  My sister and my best friend hate my boyfriend, and obviously this is a big problem.  It’s so bad that my sister and my friend don’t even want to come to things where they know I’ll be bringing my boyfriend, and if they do come to events where he is, they barely say anything more than hello.  I get that they don’t like him because of the things my boyfriend has done to me in the past, but if I forgave him, why can’t my family? How do I get my family and friends to a place where they will respect my relationship and my man?  I can’t wait to hear your thoughts?

-King Tut 93

Dating

He’s Best Friends with His Ex

Dear T,

Would you care if a guy you’re talking to is best friends with his ex-boyfriend?  Been talking to this guy for about a month now, and recently I met his group of friends.  After talking with the friends, I found out that one of them is his ex.  That kind of threw of me, because I wasn’t expecting to kick it with my almost boyfriend’s ex.  I can’t help but be bothered.  The man I’m talking to didn’t share any of this information with me.  When I asked him how long he and his friend dated, he said two years, but they’ve been broken up for three.  I’m just uncomfortable with the whole situation.  What would you do?

–  Not For This

friendship

You’ve Outgrown Your Friend

Dear T,

How many arguments do you have to have with a friend before you call off the friendship?  It seems like me and my so called bff, argue at least once a month.  And I honestly am sick of wasting the energy and time.  I mean we argue over the dumbest things.  I think the last time we had a disagreement it was because he didn’t like that I was 30 minutes late in meeting him for drinks.  Keep in mind that I was late because there was an accident.  He acted as if I had control over how people drive.  I just can’t keep doing this petty back and forth anymore, especially with someone I’m not even sleeping with.  What should I do here, especially with someone I’ve known for over 12 years?

– Just Enough