friendship, The Lifestyle

Supporting What You Don’t Understand!

Dear T,

I have a question for you.  I’m not actually gay, but my best friend of 12 years has recently come out to me, and I’m not quite sure how to proceed with our friendship.  We met each other at our home church, and there I learned and accepted to a degree that homosexuality is not right in God’s eyes.  So still believing that, how do I give my friend my approval of his new lifestyle?  I realize you are not necessarily a leading scholar on Christianity, but I came across one of your posts on Instagram and you appear to be gay and Christian.  So I thought you could offer up some advice.  Btw, please don’t take any offense to my letter.

Best regards,

Ashley from Around the Way

Dating, relationships

Living Single…And I Want to Stay that Way!

 Dear T,

I’m going to try and be brief about this. Unlike all of my friends, I’m not in a relationship nor do I desire to be in one.  I enjoy my independence, and like being able to be with whoever I want, no strings attached.  But my friends just can’t accept I don’t want an official boo. I did the relationship thing, and I don’t miss it. This all brings me to my question. Is not wanting a relationship normal, and okay?

Thanks in advance,

King Kunta11

Dating, relationships

Stay True to You! You Owe It to You and Your Boo!

 Dear According to T,

I’ve been looking for this person who would bring me back to a place of loving that I recently lost. I think I’ve found him. We laugh together, share personal moments, and have been intimate once, which was amazing. Here’s my personal war, he’s very plugged into social issues and is very liberated in his thinking.  He identifies as queer, loves drag (and does it), and is not dogmatic.  In recent months, I’ve learned that my belief system is shifting and I enjoy whimsical faith. He makes me feel free, but at times I feel his thinking is light years beyond my own and I worry that I’m shallow, even though he doesn’t see me that way. Should I try to plug myself in more to political and social issues just to be able to keep up with him?

Thanks,
Questioning Queer

relationships

Hop Off His Ride So You Can Think!

Dear T,

I think I’m addicted to my ex-boyfriend/current boyfriend depending on the day.  We have been off and on for about 3 and half years now.  We will be good for about 2 months, and then all of a sudden he will do something that pisses me off and cause me to want to break up with him.  I mean he’s lied to me, cheated on me, and he can be so immature sometimes.  However, he also makes me laugh like no other, and he has given me some of the best surprises I’ve ever received.  Plus, the sex with him is beyond amazing.  I mean I’ve been with other guys, but none of them even come close to this man in the bedroom.  My friends say great surprises and mind blowing sex aren’t everything, and if me and the ex break up as often as we do, maybe I should move on.  But I can’t bring myself to let him go.  Say I move on and find another guy that doesn’t cheat, is mature, and always treats me right, but the sex is terrible.  I think if I work with the ex and help him grow up a little, I will have my perfect man.  Please tell me what you think?

Dream Catcher89

Dating

I Know You’re My Trainer, But Are You Single?

Hey T,

I’m hitting you up because I could use some advice.  Everything is going well in my life right now, and I’d like to top things off with a good relationship.  Every man wants someone to share his life with.  You know?  It’s been a few years since I’ve been in one, and now I think I’m ready.  And even though I’m really picky about who I date, I think I may have found my future babe.  The only thing is, I’m not sure if they look at me like that. See the person is my trainer I’ve been working with for the past few weeks.  They’re mad cool, and have many of the traits I look for in a partner.  But again, I just don’t know how they feel or if they even look at me as more than a client.  Plus, since the person is my trainer, I don’t want to ruin what we have professionally.  What do you think I should do here?

From,

Addicted to Nike

The Lifestyle

Firing Off Friday: Drake

Hello good people,

And happy Friday to ya!  I’ve decided to start something new called Fire Off Friday.  On the occasional Friday, I will use my platform here to get something that’s been bothering me off my chest, or to share some revelation I’ve come to.  Essentially, I will be “firing off” my opinion.  And with that said, let’s jump right into this.

Dating

Young and Meatless

Dear T,

Truthfully, I used to be somewhat of a hoe.  There were times in the past all a dude had to do was be fine, flash his smile, and grab his junk, and I would be bent right over.  Heck, I didn’t even know the last name of some of these guys.  But now, I just want more out of life.  I want a relationship and want to be someone’s bae.  I’ve been told in order to get that, I’ve got to close my hole for business for a while.  So I’m going to try and abstain from having sex for a little bit, but it’s like telling someone that eats meat every day to become an instant vegetarian.  Do you have any suggestions?  Do I really have to abstain?

Sincerely,

Young & Meatless

Dating

That First Time!!!

Hi T,

I heard about your blog from Instagram, and decided to hit you up since you keep things anonymous and all.  I’m not really out the closet or whatever yet, and don’t have friends I can ask about this whole gay lifestyle, so I’m coming to you.  Here’s the thing.  I’ve never had sex with a man.  I’ve always wanted to, but never did because I knew what that would mean.  But now since I have started to accept that I like men, I think I’m ready.  I started messaging back and forth with this guy I met on one of these apps, and we’ve been talking about meeting up.  Crazy thing is, I’m really nervous.  I probably shouldn’t be because I’ve had sex with girls, but I am.  So do you have any advice for a virgin gay?  I mean what was your first time like?

From,

Gay Cherry Poppin

Dating, relationships, The Lifestyle

Is 30 too Old for a Midlife Crisis?

Dear T,

I’m not really seeking advice about dating or relationships, but you did say people can ask you anything, so I’m asking.  I kind of feel like I’m failing in life.  I had always envisioned that by the time I was 30, I would be in a career I loved, with a man that adored me, and in a nice house with a dog.  Unfortunately, I’m 28 going on 29, and I’m not even close to achieving any of this.  I’m up to my neck in student loans, can’t find a GOOD man anywhere, and I’m stuck in a job I hate that’s going nowhere.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for what I do have; but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little disappointed.  I guess my question is, do you think I should feel like a failure?  I hoping you can help.

Thankfully,

Almost 30